Brilliance: I Want to Lick Your Brain

I have a strong suspicion this post should be subtitled Jade A. Waters Insanely Squeals About Her Crushes and Idols, but that seems so long.

Nonetheless, you’ve been warned.

Here’s the deal—the other day on Twitter, Valerie Alexander pointed out a kick ass song. It’s the Lana Del Rey version of “Once Upon a Dream” for the upcoming movie Maleficent. This song sent me squealing for a few reasons: I love Sleeping Beauty, I love the character of Maleficent, and most of all, every time I hear a Lana Del Rey song, I nearly want to lick her brain. I find her mesmerizing and clever, and her music gets me all worked up because it’s so hauntingly good.

To clarify, “I want to lick your brain” is not the same as a crush. For example, the aforementioned movie Maleficent stars one of my lifetime girl crushes—Angelina Jolie. She shares that title with Jennifer Connelly (come on, did you see her in, oh…every movie she ever did?), but these are still just crushes. And don’t even get me started on my male crushes—that list is so long I could write posts for years, starting with one on Hugh Jackman, in Wolverine and tap dancer form, separate or together. (Um, okay. Let’s go with together.)

But back to Lana…she’s one I want to brain-lick. She inspires thoughts and admiration, and a complete desire to somehow capture her essence in order to fire something creative in me. That is what it means to want to lick someone’s brain.

Let’s take another example. Remember Christopher Pike? He’s the author of such YA books as Whisper of Death, Remember Me, and Season of Passage. He rocked my reading world from age nine to eleven, and I still revisit his wickedly crafty writing about once a year. Now, granted, I do have a little crush on him because he’s SO DAMN BRILLIANT, and men who are that clever usually send a tingle up my spine, so we’ll call him a hybrid. That is, if I met Mr. Pike, I’d not only want to tongue every firing nerve in his head, but, I’d also willingly strip and lie down in the middle of the road to do whatever he asked. He’s just that good—he inspires me and turns me on. What a lucky fella. (Eh-hm. Paging Mr. Pike…)

Woman in stilettos sitting on a chair breaking from her book to stare at the ceiling in delight.

So. Damn. Good.

Most people I want to brain-lick can be classified as idols, but the term doesn’t seem to do them justice. A perfect example is Shanna Germain. This is a woman who is so brilliant that every time I finish one of her stories, I put the book down and utter a very loud, “Holy shit, Shanna, you’re fucking amazing.” Yes: Every. Single. Time. She is so inspiring I wish I could slow dance with her for hours in the hopes that I might mystically absorb some of her thoughts through proximity.

Another example is Alison Tyler. I’ve been worshipping her brain since I found her a few years back in Bedding Down with “It’s Not the Weather.” Nothing she writes disappoints—she’ll usually leave you stunned, stupefied, delighted, and wanting more. Then you add to Ms. Tyler’s phenomenal writing magic that she happens to be one of the nicest people on the planet, and maybe you can understand why I classify her as a brain-lick recipient. (Bonus: she’ll be hitting my blog next week for her Never Say Never blog tour. But put your tongue back in your mouth—I get her brain first.)

I have other brain-lick loves, but this post could go on for a while and I might sound a little crazier than I already do. Instead, I’m going to turn the question around on you—what’s your ultimate compliment for brilliance? Is it, “You’re fucking brilliant,” “You’re my idol,” “I want to capture your essence in a bottle,” or something else?

And more importantly, who is the recipient of your adoration, affection, and brain worshipping?


Posted in Musings, Sexy Reads and tagged , , , , , , , .


  1. Great, great, great, great, great, great post! My version of the brain-lick is “talent crush” which is totally different than the “I want to think about you while I do pretty much anything all day” crush, (paging Tom Hiddleston, Daniel Craig and Alexander Skarsgaard).

    My talent crushes function in the exact same way as your brain-lick – someone whose talent / ability sets a standard that both inspires and opens my mind. Dorothy Parker? Talent crush. Angela Carter? Talent crush. Gary Oldman? TOTAL talent crush. I love my talent crushes even more than my normal crushes – fantasy crushes are great, but talent crushes / brain-lick recipients make you see and strive for more, and that’s pretty incredible.

    • Ah, the talent crush! Yes, I totally get this. All wonderful people on your list, too! I have to agree with you on the talent overpowering crushes, as well…stimulating the brain is really the most important thing, and it last longer, anyway.

      Though, I wouldn’t reject any of my crushes if they knocked on my door. 😉 No brain-licking for them, but you get the picture!

      Thanks for commenting, Malin!

  2. For me, it’s the writers who endure that I have talent crushes on. Oh, I’ll read some modern stuff and really enjoy it and envy the hell out of putting together wonderful stories. Right now, “Game of Thrones” comes to mind because I’m so enjoying it hard. For a writer to come up with such a complicated story is downright amazing. I with you about Jennifer Connelly — I’ve had a crush on her since “Career Opportunities.” Not the greatest movie, but she was hot!

    • That is a great example, August. There is a ton of brilliance out there, and everyone has their own spark (or desire to lick, I suppose). As for Jennifer C. – I never saw that one! She got me in Higher Learning. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your thoughts, August!

  3. Absolute agreement on Shanna Germain. I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately because I’ve read a bunch of her stories lately. And of course Alison. Alison.

    For me, it’s also Xan West, Greta Christina, Jean Roberta, Lana Fox, Jacob Louder, Laila Blake, Janine Ashbless… I could probably go on for a while, but all those people have written stuff that I’ve read recently and been bowled over by. I think it’s not just the brains and the brilliance, it’s also the audacity. I would love to be braver, and I’m trying to push myself to be, and these are the people I think of when I’m trying to do that.

    • Oh my god, yes! All those people! (See, I said I could go on forever…) I believe you’re right—audacity is a huge part of it. I think that’s the essence of people who inspire us—pushing us to be braver, wilder, better. Great names and comment, Annabeth. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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