Cover of Delta of Venus by Anais Nin

You Always Remember Your First

Okay, no holds barred: I have a lot of firsts to share today.

For example, the first time I experienced anything akin to being turned on was watching Pepé Le Pew in Looney Tunes. No, really. I loved the French skunk. I loved the way he chased that pretty cat around and smothered her in affection. I particularly loved the way he held her and talked romantically into her ear, and how she swatted him away. For me, it was the chase—and while I imitated his lines because I liked the accent, I actually imagined some French person chasing me with affection and adoration one day. (Note: I have yet to date anyone French.)

My first kiss happened when I was seven. It was a dare. I’d had a crush on Michael for a whole year. He had this hair that looked like a Ken doll’s—it was short, blond, and wavy, but it somehow stayed close to his head (seven-year-olds don’t wear hairspray, right?). He always played football at lunch, so one day I stormed out and lectured him because he dropped the football. Yes. A seven-year-old, scolding another seven-year-old for dropping a football. Then, as he stared at me dumbfounded, I planted one on him. (Okay…maybe a little too much Pepé Le Pew viewing for me.)

My first “real” sexual experience happened under the murky sky of a light rain. I met a boy three years older than me and he walked me under a tree, where he cradled me in his lap and woke parts of me I didn’t realize existed. That experience was transformative—and lovely, to say the least.

The first time I had sex was with a different boy who also happened to be three years older. We wrote each other poetry and fantasized about living in other centuries together. Our relationship didn’t last long, but we did end up having one nostalgic fling almost four years later—when we drank wine, made love, and embraced while reading poetry to one another, all night long.

These are all some of my favorite firsts, but as open about these as I am, they’re not the firsts I meant to talk about.

You see, I wanted to talk about another first—the first erotica I ever read, because I will always, always remember it.Delta of Venus cover

I read about sexual things at quite a young age—I’d devoured several V.C. Andrews and Christopher Pike novels by nine, for goodness sake—but in my early teens, I stumbled upon something on my mother’s bookcase: Delta of Venus by Anaïs Nin.

Now, I confess, I already knew what sex was, but I’d never truly read it. And while the contents of those pages mesmerized and delighted me, and I worship the great Anaïs Nin to this day, it didn’t occur to me that reading those pages could be a source of sexual excitement. I read them analytically, enthralled to discover that one could weave sexual words and scenes so eloquently—and yet I didn’t completely understand that it might “turn me on.” Maybe it did and I just didn’t pick up on it. Who knows. But it did make me want to read more.

So somewhere around there, I signed up for a book club. I could order as many books as I wanted (as long as I could afford them), and I thought this was the coolest thing since peanut butter. Soon, I grew bold. Right under my parents’ noses, I ordered The Best American Erotica 1993 and concealed the book under my bed. Night after night, I read the stories within—and while Anaïs Nin had opened my eyes, these stories rocked me. They made me hot. They made me whisper things to my boyfriends about the naughty things I was reading, and how we should try this, and that, and did you know you could do that?

Best American Erotica 1993 cover

Now, this is a very old collection, but there are two stories that I’ve never, ever forgotten—even two decades later. One was “Rubenesque” by Magenta Michaels, and the other “Five Dimes” by Anita ‘Melissa’ Mashman. “Rubenesque” showed me body love, exhibitionism, and anonymous sex, while “Five Dimes” showed me lovers having fun and exploring. In fact, I may well have talked a boyfriend into playing “Five Dimes” with me. (You’ll have to read the story to understand what that means, but I assure you, it’s hot.)

So yes, technically, my first was Anaïs Nin. But the first I really remember, the first that got my pulse racing, my cheeks pink, and my body covered in goose bumps—that first happened with The Best American Erotica 1993. 

I haven’t stopped reading erotica since.

Now, as for the other firsts—they’re delightful memories, too…which brings me to you.

Do you know what I’d love to hear? YOUR firsts. First kiss, first turn-on, first sex, first sexy read—you pick. Maybe if I’m really lucky, this space will serve as your very first confession! 😉

Can’t wait to hear…

XX,
Jade

P.S. The results of Alison Tyler’s Smut Marathon Round 2 are up—check them out here! (I survived! Hurray!)

 

Picture of panties around red shoes

Vote, Vote, Vote…

Just a quickie to let you know that Round 2 of Alison Tyler’s Smut Marathon 2014 is up!

Once again, I have an entry in this Survivor-esque game of erotica writing challenges. We, the competitors, are subject to Ms. Tyler’s whims (aka assignments)…and then you, the lucky reader, get to vote!

As before, I can’t tell you which entry is mine—but I can bat my eyelashes and beg you to vote. Pretty please? With sugar and cherries on top?

Click right here to head on over to Ms. Tyler’s place and cast your vote! The entries are hot!

The poll is open until midnight on Sunday, and I’ll post results as soon as I know them.

Thanks for voting!

XX,
Jade

Black and white image of man kissing woman's chest

Poetic Naughtiness — “Power”

In my younger years, I wrote a lot of poetry. It started in elementary school, when apparently I wrote material so dark the principal kept calling my parents in to discuss my suicidal tendencies (sorry, mom). This random fact has always surprised me, since I’m an eternal optimist—as in, “Screw the glass half full, I have a glass!”—but it is what it is. Little me wrote deep, dark, angry poems.

In high school, I switched gears and began writing deep, dark, dramatic poems. Huge improvement, right? Suddenly, I was not only writing about blackening flowers and body-bruising windstorms but bemoaning the loss of various heart breaker boyfriends. I wrote poems multiple times a day, and in fact, I still have my tattered-page journals filled with heart-wrenching verse and doodles I couldn’t make sense of if I tried. But eventually, the urge wore off; I realized I preferred fiction to poetry…

With the exception of erotic poetry. This was my little secret—all those deep, dark emotions I used to channel had turned into something sexier, sultrier, more explicit. Occasionally, I passed a piece on to a lucky boyfriend. Mostly, I kept it on my hard drive just for me.

That is, until today.Black and white image of man kissing woman's neck

You may remember The Erotic Woman, the lovely site that featured my story “Marm” a couple weeks back? Well, they have a fondness for erotic poetry, too, and now, I’m delighted to debut my first public erotic poem! So…please hop on over and take a peek at “Power.” Oh, and an advisory: The Erotic Woman does include some NSFW images, so be prepared to read and enjoy the view. 😉

As for “Power”—I hope you enjoy it!

XX,
Jade

Banner photo of eyes beneath veil

“Nice Shoes. Wanna Fuck?”…Or, The Joy of Pick Up Lines

Seeing as how it’s March, and I planned to edit my book this month, I’ve been doing just that—editing, editing, and then more editing. I’m about a third of the way through, which means my couple has already found their way past initial attraction and have moved well into…other things. 😉 But, in following their journey, I’ve been thinking a lot about what lines bring people together. Our initial attraction is often visual, but after that, there has to be an “in.” One party needs to open his or her mouth and actually say something.

And sometimes, what comes out is a good old-fashioned pick up line.

That idea got me thinking about pick up lines in general—who uses them, how they use them, and if they’re effective. For some reason I’m eternally tickled by pick up lines, especially when they’re used well. I’ve experienced a few (kudos to you, random man on street who burst into song with “One” written by Harry Nilsson—that was pretty clever). And I admit I’ve used some, too (“So…do you dance, or just stand there looking handsome?”—FYI, that shockingly worked). Still, most of my favorites are classics that would never be used in real life:

“If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”

“I’m an organ donor. Need anything?”

“Your clothes would look good on my bedroom floor.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”

I have a good friend who sticks to a tamer variety of lines, and apparently had great success with them for years: “Hi. Want to go back to my place and take a shower?” or the less obtrusive version, “Hey, would you like a massage?” (You know who you are, dude.)

It doesn’t really matter what the line is per se; we all know they mean the same thing—nice shoes, wanna fuck?

I guess this is why pick up lines amuse me. There are thousands of variations despite every single party knowing they are covers for the more direct question, which in some cases would have been less offensive/ridiculous/entertaining (choose one) in the first place.

So what about you? Have you ever seriously used a pick up line or heard a good one? Do you love or hate them?

And what are your favorites? Please leave me a note below! I’m hoping someone will throw out a rare gem. Will it be you?

If so…you must be a laser set on stunning! 😉

XX,
Jade

Picture of panties around red shoes

“Marm” Featured at The Erotic Woman!

Happy almost weekend, everyone!

I wanted to let you know that my short story, “Marm,” is currently featured over at The Erotic Woman! I am so excited this story is up for you to read—it’s a little something I wrote and shelved, so I’m delighted to have it out in the world. And the good news for you?

This story is absolutely FREE!

Yep, a full short story for you to enjoy for free! All you have to do is click right on over to The Erotic Woman to read “Marm.”  The site is full of sexy reads and images, so definitely keep in mind it’s NSFW and then have a good time. 😉

I’ll also have some erotic poetry appearing over there in the coming weeks—I’ll let you know when it’s up!

I hope you enjoy “Marm”!

XX,
Jade

Big Book of Orgasms postcards

So, Two Erotica Authors Walk Into a Bar…

Okay, that wasn’t exactly how it went, but I got your attention, didn’t I? 🙂

Here’s the real story: Malin James and I have become super close pals since the release of The Big Book of Orgasms: 69 Sexy Stories. She had a fabulous little story in there called “Hard Knocks” (check it out if you haven’t read it!), and after we met at the reading at Good Vibrations in San Francisco, we decided to start emailing one another all the time and proudly established monthly “shop” lunches. It’s been delightful!

So, when we got together this weekend, we decided to scavenge through Barnes and Noble in search of the book we shared pages in. It took a few tries, because somehow, the smut was scattered all over the place. There were a bunch of Cleis Press anthologies in “Literature and Essays” (what?), and then a bounty of more nonfiction erotic options under “Love and Sexuality.” This section included how-to manuals and Penthouse Letters, and somehow, the little book that could—AKA The Big Book of Orgasms—got shoved over here. (Yeah, we didn’t get it either. In fact, we debated rearranging the store for a minute, but our Thai lunch was calling.)

Since it was very exciting to see this excellent book in the store, we opted to take a picture with it. This also took a few tries (damn iPhones) and caused a tiny bit of a scene…I mean, we were holding quite a hot looking orgasm book and giggling as we attempted to center our faces plus the sexy cover image into the viewfinder without looking. But hey! It turned out okay, so we posted it on Facebook and Twitter. And then our wonderful editor, Rachel Kramer Bussel, liked the photo so much she reposted it…with a challenge!

 

We’d love to see your pretty face with this pretty book, too. Make sure you give @BigBookofOrgasm a shout when you tweet it.

Malin and Jade with BBOO

Here we are with our first anthology!

In the meantime, Malin and I might need to come up with alternate locations for this same picture. Next time, maybe we will hit a bar!

🙂

Haven’t picked up The Big Book of Orgasms: 69 Sexy Stories yet? You can do so right here.

Until next time…

XX,
Jade

Woman with legs wrapped around man is tugging down his pants.

Any Excuse (for Ass)

For weeks—no, months—I’ve had this picture saved on my desktop. I downloaded it a while back hoping to use it “somewhere on my website.” I kept trying to figure out posts to use it, or excuses to flash it, or maybe even stories to tie it up with. (Heh.) Sometimes, I’d open the file and grin at it for inspiration—because, well, it’s really damn hot.

Anyway, this morning I had an epiphany. I write erotica, so it seems to me that any excuse for ass will do.

Enjoy:

Woman with legs wrapped around man is tugging down his pants.

Yeah, admit it. You like it too.

See?

You’re welcome. 🙂

Also, if you missed it, the results of Alison Tyler’s Smut Marathon are in. I made it through Round 1! Phew! *Wipes brow.* Round 2 is sure to be hot and will be up in about a month for your voting pleasure. I’ll keep you posted…

XX,
Jade

Picture of panties around red shoes

Oleander Plume Shares “Scent of a Man”

It’s the third day of Triple the Smut!

As you may recall, Oleander Plume is my fellow contributor in Best Women’s Erotica 2014, and she issued me a challenge—I was to choose one sexy word from her list and use it as inspiration for a story. I did this on Monday over at her site, and today, she’s here to share her response to my list. So without further ado, here’s the lovely Oleander! Take it away, darling!

Black and white pic of Oleander Plume

“How did I come up with the idea for this story? Well, my sweet friend Jade gave me a list of seven words, and the first one that caught my eye was “scent”. Immediately, I pictured a man in a well tailored business suit. Underneath, he’s finely muscled, maybe a tattoo somewhere. He smells delicious, like expensive cologne and masculine goodness. Really, it just wrote itself 😉 Enjoy, my lovelies!”

Scent of a Man

by Oleander Plume

I buried my face in his neck and inhaled. Burberry Touch, his signature scent, my senses were alive with the fragrance. I could feel his pulse beneath my lips as I kissed.

“Darlin’-”

I pushed his groping hands away. “No, you promised. Just relax and let me do this.”

A small growl from him, a stern look from me. He dutifully stretched his arms over his head and crossed his wrists.

“Good boy. Now, no more shenanigans.”

“Yes ma’am.” His blue eyes narrowed slightly, but he smiled at me.

I straddled his hips, and resumed kissing, letting my mouth travel from his neck to his collar bone. I tasted the warm skin that covered his shoulder, slightly salty, but smooth against my tongue. Lower, to his armpit, he squirmed and laughed when I buried my nose inside.

“Why?”

“Shh. Let me.”

I inhaled, he smelled like citrus body wash and a soft musk, definitely male. The skin was like velvet, I petted the area with my fingertips, causing him to chuckle.

“Ticklish? Should I stop?”

“Please do.”

I moved to his strong pecs, the skin here smelled different, like fresh air. His nipple hardened under my tongue and I heard his breath catch in his throat. This was his secret erogenous zone, although it would have killed him to admit it. I nibbled on the firm nub, and he moaned softly, a sound that pleased me like no other. After paying some attention to the neglected nipple, I slid my lips down his stomach, using my tongue to trace all the ridges in his muscular abdomen. His impatience grew and he squirmed.

“Patience, lover.”

“Don’t you see how hard I am? You’re driving me crazy.” His drawl was raspy and thick with lust.

A puddle of saline had pooled under the tip of his cock, a heady testament to his arousal. The manly smell and taste of his fluid made my mouth water and my heart race. I moved lower yet, pushing his erect cock out of the way before rubbing my nose in his thatch of pubic hair. While I inhaled his delicious masculine essence, I traced the skin of his shaft with my fingers. So much hardness, wrapped in silk, I could feel the blood pulsating through each ropy vein.

“Darlin’.” More urgent now, his voice harsh with want.

“You have a lust ache, don’t you? Here, let me make it better.”

I gazed up at him while I tapped the head of his cock against my tongue. The sight of him lying there, vulnerable in his nakedness drove me wild. I knew at that moment, I owned him completely. A sharp knock at the door invaded our interlude.

“Yes?”

A voice floated through the door. “Mr. Gentry, your 2 o’clock is here.”

“Darlin’?” he whimpered as he tried to sit up. I pushed him back against the desk.

“Your 2 o’clock can wait.”

About Oleander:

Oleander Plume writes erotica in several genres. Her work can be found in The Women Who Love to Love Gay Romance by Ryan Field, Best Women’s Erotica 2014 by Violet Blue, and Take This Man by Neil Plakcy (coming soon). Some of her flash fiction has been featured on ForTheGirls.com and BrightDesire.com. Please visit her on the web – oleanderplume.blogspot.com.

***

Oleander and I are both participating in Alison Tyler’s Smut Marathon, so if you haven’t already—please don’t forget to vote! Poll closes Thursday at midnight. 🙂

XX,
Jade

Sweaty male torso held from behind

“Heat” Over at Oleander Plume’s!

Today is the second part of the triple smut fest!

Which means…I am actually over at Oleander Plume’s site today. She is a fellow contributor in Best Women’s Erotica 2014, and today she’s asked me to come on over and write a flash story. In fact, she offered me a challenge—dun dun DUN!—which I gladly accepted. Her response to the challenge is coming on Wednesday, but in the meantime, please hop on over to her site to read “Heat”!

More on what inspired the story and the challenge is posted there too, but to give you a little preview, I’ll leave you with this:

Picture of woman's hands wrapped around a sweaty man's stomach.

Now, please go read “Heat” at Oleander Plume’s. Hope you enjoy it!

XX,
Jade

Neon sign of XXX

Triple the Smut

Okay, maybe it’s residual love from Valentine’s Day, or maybe it’s just a smutty kind of week, but I feel like sharing triple the smut.

Neon XXX sign

What does this mean, you ask? Well, starting today, I have three smutty pieces of goodness for you.

Today, I’m delighted to tell you about Alison Tyler’s Smut Marathon 2014. Ms. Tyler has run this game a few times, and this year, I’m thrilled to be a contestant! It’s basically Survivor for Erotica Writers—as in, Ms. Tyler issues a challenge and posts our (anonymous) responses, and YOU (yes, YOU, right there!) get to vote. How fun is that?

So, what I’d love for you to do is hop right over to Ms. Tyler’s site. You can read about all 15 of the contestants, and of course, read and vote on Round 1! While I can’t tell you which entry is mine, I can tell you I’m there and that I’d love for you to vote. There’s no way of knowing how long I’ll last, but I’m seriously excited to be playing.

Voting closes Thursday at midnight, so be sure to visit her site asap.

Now, what’s the smut for the rest of the week?

Oleander Plume—another contestant in the Smut Marathon, and also another author I’m happy to share pages with in Best Women’s Erotica 2014—is going to not only be hosting me on her site, but visiting here as well! Both stops have a special free hot story for you, so stay close for those posts. It’s going to be a smutty good time!

That’s all for now, so in the meantime, be sure to check out the Smut Marathon 2014 and vote. I’ve read all the lines and they’re sexy. And yes, I voted.

Won’t you? 🙂

XX,
Jade