Cover of Kristina Wright's Best Erotic Romance 2015

“Fertile” Is at Tamsin’s Superotica Today!

That’s right, everyone! Today I’ve jumped over to Tamsin’s Superotica with an exclusive excerpt from my upcoming story in Best Erotic Romance 2015, “Fertile.”

Cover of Kristina Wright's Best Erotic Romance 2015

This year’s edition includes “Fertile”!

Best Erotic Romance 2015 is set to release on Kindle on December 22nd, and on paperback a bit after that—but you can pre-order the anthology right now on Amazon. I’m tickled to be sharing pages with both of my Pillow Talk cohorts in this anthology edited by the lovely Kristina Wright, and today I’m extra thrilled that Tamsin has asked to feature a snippet of my story on her hot Christmas advent calendar!

So, please head on over to Tamsin’s place right now. I hope you enjoy the excerpt of “Fertile” you’ll find there, as well as all the other sexy pieces she’s featuring in her Christmas countdown. It’s seriously smokin’ this year, and I’m so happy to have been a part.

Happy holidays!

XX,
Jade

Sexy topless man in a Santa hat

“Office Santa” — A Free Story for the Holidays!

Happy December!

The holiday season is upon us, and there’s nothing I love more than all the cheer and festivity that comes with it. On top of that, I’m a big giver—which is why I’m delighted to share a free story with you for the Christmas season!

Last year, I wrote “Office Santa” about Kristi, a particularly sassy executive administrative assistant who happens to love nothing more than a sexy man in a Santa suit. The story was published in an anthology that sadly had a very short shelf life, but I’ve decided that—since it’s the holidays and all—I would love to share it with you right now.

For free!

This story is by no means short, and it’s damn sassy and filthy. Perfect for the holidays, if you ask me!

So, please get your Christmas spirits ready and sneak under the mistletoe with me. I hope you enjoy “Office Santa.”

Happy Holidays!

XX,
Jade

Picture of silver ballsOFFICE SANTA

by

Jade A. Waters

Me and Office Santa—we go way back.

See, after seven years of organizing our annual holiday party, I’ve learned I have a real affinity for a gentleman in a Santa costume—which is saying a lot, since I love a man in a suit and tie, and the male partners around here look so delicious in their business wear it’s a miracle we don’t have a major sexual harassment problem. But Christ, put one of them in a fuzzy red suit with a squishy belly, a big black belt, matching boots, and that goddamn aphrodisiac of a hat, and I lose all semblance of self-control.

Part of the appeal is the man who dons the suit, of course. Last year, for example, it was David. He’s one of the busiest partners, so watching him slow down to have a glass of wine with the rest of us—appreciating the season and wearing that fantastic red costume—actually made him approachable. I mean, he was always that way with me, but no one ever saw that. Ours was an affair composed of exactly three entanglements: the first on the break room table after the rest of the company had gone home, the second when I picked him up from the airport after a conference since the driver I’d arranged had neglected to show, and the third the time I took him home from the holiday party. He’d spent the night tumbling around my apartment—he was a little awkward with the suit dangling around his thighs because I wouldn’t let him take it off. In return, I kept the sexy Mrs. Claus dress on and let him rip a hole in the crotch of my fishnets so he could get his hands on me. There’s something to be said for a man wearing a Santa hat while under your skirt, shoving his tongue way up inside until you come to visions of sugarplums and all that, so it was a win-win for us both.

For the five years before David, Nelson and Associates had encouraged Michael to wear the suit. Everybody loved Michael—he was charismatic and handsome, and took interest in the lives of our office staff and clients. He also bought presents for all of us executive admins because he understood how hard we worked. He made a point of bringing me an extra special set of gifts when he arrived on my doorstep after the holiday party every year—a bottle of champagne, a box of chocolates, a pair of earrings, and then him in that delicious Santa suit. I told him he could skip the earrings, but he had a thing for putting them in my earlobes for me. He’d trail his fingers along every curve in my ear, then ask me to strip down to my boots and nothing else. I won’t lie—that part always made me hot. Then he’d ask me to suck on pieces of chocolate when he bent me over a chair and fucked me while singing Christmas carols.

The guy was a real freak behind closed doors, and that’s why we had so much fun together during our annual rendezvous. We probably would have done it more often, but a girl can only eat so much chocolate—plus he ended up taking a job at our satellite firm in India.

This year, we at Nelson had some trouble convincing anyone to wear the suit. The role had traditionally gone to one of the partners, and thanks to my hard work arranging schedules, conferences, and international travel, I’d left us with exactly two to choose from come holiday time: Gregory and Nick. Neither of them knew about my Santa habit—in fact, no one in the office did except the lucky few to have donned the suit—but it’s not like I could use that as a bargaining chip anyway. That would be inappropriate.

Gregory was married, so he would have made a terrible candidate. Nick, then, became my sole desire. He had the right name, he was in town for the party, and on top of that, he had an ass I’d been ogling since he joined the firm six months earlier. I could picture it beneath the red seat of the infamous Santa costume, rounding as he’d drive his way inside of me, and I knew I had to get him on my Christmas list.

My job as the lead executive administrative assistant meant I was a busy girl, and organizing the holiday party made everything more complicated this time of year. So while I’d wanted to put on the charm and be the reason Nick chose the suit, I knew better. I’d stuck Shirley on it, with her big blue eyes and amazing tits, because Nick would never say no to a girl like that sweet-talking him into the role.

Please do not misunderstand—Nick was no misogynist. He was, by far, the most respectable, refined, and appreciated partner who had ever worked in our firm. He exceeded Michael’s reputation for charm but struck most of us as a bit more introverted, and his was not the nature to grotesquely harass a pretty subordinate. It’s just that Shirley had a rack even I fantasized about sometimes, and with those doe eyes and melodic voice working for her, it was difficult to resist anything she asked. Plus she was new to the job and ever so polite, and most of us wanted to see her do well.

Besides—sure enough, my plan worked. He’d said yes, she’d felt accomplished, and now I was all set to reap the rewards: Nick and his hot ass in the Santa suit.

I swear to god thinking about it made it impossible to work the week leading up the party. I’d stashed an extra pair of panties in my desk drawer because sometimes I worried I’d soak right through my dress clothes—especially yesterday, when I literally ran into Nick in the break room, both of us careening around the entryway from opposite sides and colliding with one another. I had only a second to appreciate his broad chest smacking against mine, and next there came the realization that my papers were scattered across the floor.

“Oh crap, Kristi—I’m so sorry!” he’d said. We’d looked at one another startled for a minute, me getting somewhat lost in his green eyes as I imagined how they’d pair with his Santa costume in pure Christmas color perfection, and once he flushed in embarrassment at running into me he’d bent over to start picking up my papers.

I’d crouched down beside him, my skirt creeping up on my thighs and catching his gaze. He idled on them long enough that my breath caught in my throat, but then we both set back to work gathering the papers I’d spent the last fifteen minutes organizing.

“Let me know what I can do to help with these. Are they alphabetized? Numerical? God, I’m so sorry!” he repeated. He awkwardly handed the papers over as we both stood back up, but I patted his arm.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “Accidents happen. Plus, I can forgive you because you’re playing Santa tomorrow night.” I winked, but it was true. Handsome, polite future-Santas went a long way with me.

Nick snickered. “That I am.”

“Are you ready for your role?”

“Sure. Aren’t I just wearing a suit?”

“Well, you’re Santa. That’s a big deal.”

“Is it? I guess the pressure’s on, huh?” He appeared somewhat ruffled, his ordinarily cool demeanor disturbed by our run-in. I, meanwhile, felt the familiar tingle in my limbs every time I talked to him. Besides being the most attractive man to have worked for the company, he was the nicest. His clients continually raved about him, and I never minded writing his expense reports because he submitted the most detailed, organized receipts and took the time to talk to me instead of dumping them on my desk.

I drew my hands to my hips and nodded very seriously. “You’re the Santa at a holiday party—yes, the pressure’s on! I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that I appreciate a good Santa.”

“Do you?”

Nick peered down at me, and I wondered if he could hear the thumping of my heart. His lips turned up at the corners and I could picture them surrounded by a white beard that I’d tug down before kissing him. In truth, I would have kissed him with or without the costume, which made him playing Santa the best Christmas gift I could ever ask for.

I grinned. “I really do.”

“In that case…I’m looking forward to the party.” He ran his fingers through his dark hair and I shifted my thighs to ease the moisture slicking up between them. It didn’t help that he followed with, “I hear you do an amazing job organizing this thing.”

“Aww. Thanks.”

We stood there for a minute more, silent. Then I remembered I’d scheduled his conference call in five minutes.

“Oh, you better run for your call with TechVibe. Can’t wait to see you as Santa!” I said.

Nick smiled, and I could tell he was curious with the way I’d said the words—a little bit breathy, and a lot flirtatious.

But he was going to play Santa, after all.

That’s about the only thing I could think about for the next day, which was a real pain with the list of tasks I had to accomplish before we closed down early that Friday for the party. Somehow, I made do, getting a two hour head start on everyone else to finish decorating the local community center. I’d rented it out the last few years to much fanfare, since we all seemed to prefer to celebrate the holiday away from the office. The space afforded a kitchen for the caterers plus a couple expansive rooms, and I typically designated one for the bar and the majority of the food, one for the hired piano player and the late-night raffle, and the other one for general socialization. That’s where I planted Santa—away from the big time revelers so I could keep my eye on him, but near enough to still be part of the fun.

The staff at the community center had kindly allowed me to swap out their Christmas tree star with one we’d designed for Nelson the year before—it was a blue neon monstrosity with the letter ‘N’ on it, for spirit—and I propped it up there with my annual sigh of appreciation that the Nelson staff didn’t mind a more Christmas-oriented party. We’d done a Hanukkah thing four years prior and then took a survey to be P.C. about it, and it turned out most everyone preferred the Christmas theme. Everyone except Margaret, that is, but she’d admitted to me she hated holidays in general, so when I started offering her a box of shortbread cookies as the season kicked off every year, she’d told me she was satisfied with a great big hug.

I finished teetering on the ladder in my heeled boots as my colleagues began to arrive. I was fully costumed already, wearing my flouncy plush red Mrs. Claus dress that I’d cinched in at the waist with a belt identical to that of the Santa suit. I’d also replaced the black fishnets David ripped last year with a pair of bright red ones. The whole get-up was a tad risqué for a work event, but no one ever complained—especially not the Santas.

“Oh Kristi, this place looks fantastic!” Shirley squealed. She and a handful of others had joined the company since last Christmas, and the group of them peered around in wonderment at all the classy decorations sparkling in greens, reds, silvers, and golds that complemented the pianist’s sophisticated renditions of Christmas carols.

She gave me a hug, then looked me over. “You look amazing. You’re the sassiest Mrs. Claus I’ve ever seen!”

“Thanks, Shirley.” I couldn’t stop myself from admiring her chest—she’d arrived wearing the red angora sweater that made her breasts stand out more than normal, and once the drinks started flowing, the men were going to have a field day watching her. There were usually a few hookups at these events beyond my secret Santa one, but I figured Shirley was clever enough to avoid raising suspicion this early on in her tenure.

I pointed out the various rooms to her and the others who started pouring through the door, greeting each colleague with a hug and a raffle ticket before they dispersed. Everyone was here to have a good time, and since I worked with a group of people who actually enjoyed one another’s company, this was bound to happen. I was eager to roam around and socialize myself, but a Mrs. Claus certainly can’t function without her mister.

It was that Mr. Claus that arrived about twenty minutes later, his tall, fit body hidden in the Santa costume and sending a chill down my spine.

“Nick Claus!” I said, reaching out to shake his hand. His entire palm engulfed my fingers and I grinned. “You look fantastic.”

And did he ever. The rugged lines of his face peeked out from behind the white beard, and when he raised his eyebrows they grazed the matching wig he’d braved beneath the Santa hat. His stuffed belly jutted out around his belt and he’d laced the boots up over the bottom of his pants like they were supposed to be worn, so they tapered neatly at his calves. I couldn’t wait to check him out from the rear, where I knew the white hem of his jacket would draw attention to the red fabric covering the exquisite shape of his ass.

“Good enough?” he asked. He pushed the curls of the wig away from his forehead and fondled the hat atop his head. That hat brought back so many memories, except tonight I wanted nothing more than to make new ones with him—Nick Claus, the real Claus. The best damn looking Santa Claus this office had ever seen.

“Oh yeah,” I muttered. He still hadn’t released my hand, and I’m not sure if it was the way I said the words—which is to say, completely breathless as I stared over him in that costume—or if he just happened to fully peer over me then, but Nick squeezed my fingers rather abruptly before kissing the back of my hand.

“You look delightful yourself, Mrs. Claus.” He kept my hand in his and twirled me around, then rested his free hand on his giant belly. “I hope saying so doesn’t overstep a bound…”

Nick had about a million bounds to overstep with me that evening, and I was ready. I scooted close to him, tilting my lips up toward his ear and lowering my voice so he’d have to lean to hear me over the pianist’s melody.

“I love a good Claus, Nick, so you can tell me whatever you wish tonight.”

His cheeks flushed the perfect red to match his costume, and I backed away lest anyone see us. Excitedly, I guided him to the main room and pointed out the lavish rocking chair designated for him.

“This is your room, and you’re obviously welcome to roam around,” I said, gesturing toward the other rooms. “But when it comes time for people to sit on Santa’s lap, you know where you need to be.”

Nick wrinkled his nose. “Shirley didn’t tell me about that. Neither did you.”

“I didn’t want to spoil the surprise, but don’t worry—it will work in your favor. Promise.”

I didn’t give him time to ask what I meant, instead running off to check on the caterers. It was awfully challenging to focus with him filling out that suit so damn well, and the wet spot in my thong wasn’t helping much, either.

After checking in on the food and the rest of the guests, I ordered a vodka cranberry from the bartender and began to circulate. The Nelson crew enjoyed themselves—everyone drinking and chatting, eating and laughing, and most everyone taking pictures with Nick in his delectable costume. I’d delegated raffle duties to Caroline this time, and she started it up fairly quickly while I doubled back to stand with Nick.

“How are you doing in that suit?”

“It’s pretty warm in here with all the stuffing.” He patted his belly. “But everyone seems happy so I’ll make do. You threw one hell of a party, Kristi. Nicely done.”

I held up my glass and he clanked his drink against mine. Then we stood together to watch the raffle, like Mr. and Mrs. Claus surveying the cheerful people around us. My knees grew weaker by the second, and I let my fantasy reel of Nick Claus play out while Caroline spoke into a microphone and handed presents out for the next twenty minutes. Once she’d distributed the last prize, some of the staff opted to go home. Most of them had spouses and family waiting there, which was fine since it left the rest of us to enjoy more of the bar services.

And of course, Santa’s lap time.

Nick could hardly stop laughing when I ushered him into his rocking chair and announced that the next thirty minutes were open for some “Santa Seat Time” in order for everyone to tell him what they wanted for Christmas. It was a novelty we’d started back when Michael held the role, and Nick played along like a good volunteer while I hung back with the other assistants.

“He looks absolutely ridiculous in that costume,” Betsy said. “He’s such a hunk normally, but throw him in a Santa suit and it ruins everything for me.”

A few of them bobbed their heads in agreement, and I pursed my lips to keep from protesting. They could think whatever they wanted—that man, in that costume, was sending trembles through my body that made me want to climb into his lap right then.

Elliott tapped my shoulder. “Hey Mrs. Claus, don’t you get to tell him what you want for Christmas, too? You arranged this party, after all.” He gave my fishnets a glance and snorted. “And for God’s sake you fit the part.”

I shrugged, though I longed to do exactly that. Instead, I watched Gregory finagle his way into Santa’s lap, making poor Nick mighty uncomfortable.

“Now that is funny,” Betsy said.

Sexy topless man in a Santa hat

“Every lady should get to tell Santa what she wants.”

The pianist began pounding out “Jingle Bells” and I squeezed my knees together, both because watching Nick costumed in the rocking chair was making it hard to stand, and because I remembered it being Michael’s favorite carol to sing when he fucked me.

Regardless, I knew the tune was toward the end of the pianist’s lineup since I’d checked his set list in advance, and I appreciated the nearing finale. There was no telling how late everyone would mingle once the music died down, but hopefully it wouldn’t be for too long.

I had a Santa to seduce.

Nick patted Gregory on the ass with a boisterous laugh when he left the rocking chair, a chummy gesture indicative of the right amount of alcohol loosening him up in his costume, and my urge to fuck him amplified so extensively that my nipples peaked beneath my dress. I wanted that Santa like I’d never wanted the two before him, and I knew the only way to get through the rest of the party was to channel all my focus into gabbing, frolicking, and flirting like my other tipsy colleagues until everyone went home for the weekend. At 10:30, the last few stragglers were gathering their prizes and hugging one another good night while I stood eyeing the Christmas tree, and Nick came up behind me.

“Ready for it to be over?” he asked.

He’d pulled the beard down around his chin, but I didn’t mind. He had the most beautiful face framed by all that fake white hair, and he still had the hat on properly. He took a step forward, the stuffing of his belly so protrusive he almost grazed it against me, and a shiver rippled through my body.

“Kind of, but I do enjoy seeing everyone have a good time.”

“Of course.” He smiled down at me, his eyes a little glossy from the booze and no doubt the warmth inside his costume, and I ached to scale every inch of his red-wrapped body there by the tree.

“It’s late though, and there’s some clean up…”

“Do you want some help?” He blurted it out so fast it was like he’d been waiting to say it. The last three guests at the door interrupted by shouting out my name. One of them was Shirley, who held the final food tray of many she’d generously toted to her car over the last thirty minutes. She glanced between Nick and me with a curious gaze, so I held up a finger to pause him and shimmied over to plant a kiss on her cheek.

“Thanks for your help, darling,” I said. “You’re a great addition to our company and I’m so glad we have you.”

She beamed, distracted enough by the compliment that her wonder was tempered. She waved goodbye and slipped out the door with the other two assistants, none of them taking any notice of Santa Claus staying behind with his missus.

Once I shut the door I turned around, rolling Nick’s offer around in my head. I’d paid extra to keep the key so that I could get a cleaning crew in here the next day, and though there were a few things to handle that Shirley hadn’t already done, I’d planned on leaving most of it till morning so I could figure out how to get Nick to myself.

“Sorry about that,” I said.

“No problem. You’re so good with everyone, and I admire all your work.”

I rested my hands on my hips, not sure what to say. My thoughts were wrapped up in how to get into his suit, so I bit my lip in contemplation.

“But about the help—do you need any? I feel like I owe you for scattering your papers everywhere yesterday.”

“Oh, shh,” I said. I waved him off and cocked my hip out to the side, and he eyed my legs while smoothing his hands over his stuffing-filled belly. “Besides, there’s not much to do tonight.”

“Okay.”

There was a hint of disappointment in his voice, which made it much easier to share my next thought.

“However, I didn’t get any Santa Seat Time.”

Nick chuckled, the motion jostling the padding of his belly. “Every lady should get to tell Santa what she wants,” he said.

He stuck out his hand and I took it, blissfully aware of the heat that rushed into my pussy at the prospect of telling him precisely what I wanted for Christmas. He led me to his rocking chair, and though no one was there to see us, I’m sure we looked a pair—Mr. and Mrs. Claus, walking hand in hand across the hardwood floor of the local community center.

Nick scooted back into the seat and patted his thigh, and it was a Christmas miracle I didn’t come right then.

I stood beside him while he steered his gaze from my face down to my boots.

“Well, well, well, young lady,” he said, in classic Santa fashion. I gave a brief curtsy, and Nick guided me onto his thigh. The soft felt of his costume was delightful on my ass through the holes of my fishnets, and I squirmed on purpose. Nick coughed, then said, “Kristi…er, Mrs. Claus…fancy seeing you here in my lap.”

I stared into his eyes. Against the red of the costume they shined the brightest green, and I was ready for him to show me naughty and nice. “Can I tell you what I want for Christmas, Santa?” I said, pursing my lips.

He shifted.

“Why yes, yes you can.” He curved his hand around my side, drawing me closer, and I took this as an excuse to sidle directly against his belly.

Nick gasped, since my thigh now rested against the hard-on he had hidden beneath those fuzzy red pants.

“Oh my Santa,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “It appears you might be after the same Christmas wish that I am.”

“Kristi—”

I placed a finger over his lips, then grabbed his hand. He’d skipped the costume gloves, but that was okay because they’d be in the way for what I did next—which was shove his hand up my skirt. “Are you okay with this?”

Nick grinned. He snuck his fingers against the crevice between my thighs. He stroked them down and back up, his fingers still hot through my fishnets and panties. I scooted as close as possible and moved my mouth near his.

“Are you?” he asked.

“I have a thing for the costume and I just put your hand under my skirt. Do you really need to ask?”

“You’re turned on by this suit?” He pressed his fingers harder against me, finding the swollen nub of my clit through the fabric and swiping at it a few times.

“Oh yes,” I panted.

We sat there for a moment, his fingers chafing me though the layers of fabric and my breath pouring raggedly against his face.

“Tell me more,” he said.

“Well,” I said, “I’ve been a very good girl, so I think I should get everything I want for Christmas.”

The words made his cock lurch against my thigh, so I slipped my hand under his jacket. Buried beneath that stuffing was the fly of his red pants, and I hooked my fingers on the button and tugged until it snapped open. Nick caressed me faster and I snuck my hand inside his briefs, taking him into my palm with a groan.

“You’re rock hard, Santa.”

Nick nodded. “And you’re damn wet, Kristi. What do you want for Christmas?”

I glided my hand along his length a few times, loving the way he squinted his eyes. It was like Santa having a jolly good laugh, even though his beard was out of place. Nick weaved his fingers through the holes of my tights and under the sides of my thong, and when he managed to get two of them inside me, I whimpered.

“You, Santa,” I growled. I stroked him more furiously and he did his best to shove his fingers deep despite the fabric in the way. I wrapped my free hand around his neck and pulled him close, and right before I kissed him, I said, “I want to fuck you, Claus.”

Nick’s cock throbbed against my hand and I slammed my lips against his. We were kissing—me and Nick, Office Santa and me—and our tongues tangled together as we clawed at one another’s sex. This Santa could kiss, and when he thrust against my hand I climbed up to straddle him. The motion sent the rocking chair swinging and both of us gave a startled shriek. We took a minute to balance ourselves before I rolled my hips against his crotch, feeling the thickness of his rod though the fabric that separated us.

“Here?” he asked between kisses. He didn’t wait for an answer, tugging down the neckline of my dress to expose my bra. He bit at my chest, pulling my breast free of the cup so he could take my nipple in his lips, and when he sucked on the tip I grinded against him until he moaned.

I took that as my cue, reaching down and ripping a hole in my fishnets—I’d already replaced them once, so what was one more time, anyway? Next I yanked my panties aside and Nick gasped.

I guided him against my cunt, skimming my wetness with his dick, and while I teased myself in this way I stretched my other hand to my boot to retrieve the condom I’d shoved inside earlier. Nick chuckled before I ripped it open and worked it down over his length, but his laughter became a heavy groan when I slid over him and took him deep.

“Oh Kristi!”

Nick Claus was inside me, and already I could feel my body shaking. I rocked against him, sending the chair swinging again, and both of us moaned. He crept his hands beneath my skirt and cupped my ass, his fingers digging the fishnets into my skin as he lifted me up and down. The motion of the rocking chair became a consistent swing that matched our stride. He felt so good I grabbed the bars of the chair so I could slam down over him, and when my free hand sank into the padding of his belly I moaned again.

“Nick, oh Claus…”

He kissed me, but it was messy and broken, both of us writhing against one another in a careful balance of fucking and rocking in that chair. Our breathing became frenzied, and he made grunts that no decent Santa would make as I rode him like the naughty Mrs. Claus I was. The fabric of his costume had slipped between us and grated against my clit in the most pleasant of ways, and as Nick yanked me against him, I felt the pleasure coming over me faster than a midnight sleigh ride around the world.

“Santa!” I cried, jerking against him. The orgasm rolled over me hard and I buried my head against the shoulder of his costume, biting at the fabric as I came. I kept thrusting over him, my mind numb as I trembled around him, his fingers clawing at my ass when he arched and slammed me back down.

“Fuck!” Nick drove into me with one final thrust, and then the two of us huddled around his belly in a panting stupor. Neither of us spoke as the swing of the chair settled to a halt.

It took a good minute for us to come to our senses. I leaned back and stared over him, then wiped the sweat off his hairline. Nick’s face was bright red, but that was to be expected having fucked in a Santa costume. His hat and wig dangled precariously and exposed his dark brown hair beneath, and I couldn’t help but grin.

“Wow,” was all I mustered.

“Wow is accurate,” Nick said.

Slowly, I climbed out of his lap. My limbs were sore from the awkward position on the chair, but every other part of me felt phenomenal. I admired him as I stood before him—his hat cockeyed, his red jacket wet with our sweat, and his withered shaft poking out from the crotch of his Santa pants—and then I adjusted my hat.

“So what’s it like playing Santa?”

Nick grinned.

“Far better than I expected. Especially with such a hot Mrs. Claus.”

“Well, Merry Christmas!” I said.

He grabbed my hand and drew me closer, his arms as tight as they could be around my waist with the girth of his belly between us. He covered my chest in kisses, then slid his hands over my ass.

“As far as I can tell, Christmas isn’t over.”

“No?” I asked. I gave him a quick kiss, and when I stood again, he crept his hands under my skirt and grasped the waistband of my fishnets and panties. I straightened his hat on his head while he eased the fabric down over my hips, my breath catching in my throat.

“Nope. I haven’t unwrapped all the presents yet.”

I giggled as he dipped beneath my skirt, the tip of his Santa hat all I could see peeking out from beneath the hem. His tongue slid over my swollen folds when he slipped a finger inside me, and I gripped the back of his head with a giddy smile.

I don’t know if Nick will play Santa at our next holiday party, but for this year, I’d certainly gotten everything I asked for.

*

"Red Hot Zombie Cock" KMQ's cover by Big Daddy Caraway

“Owned” Opens for Tamsin Flowers’ Sexy “Red Hot Zombie Cock” on the KMQ’s!

Hi everyone! It may be Monday, but I’ve got fun news for you!

Remember Rose Caraway and her fabulous performance of “Soundscapes” on the KMQ’s back in July? Well, today she revealed a killer new episode. This time, not only did the KMQ’s perform another piece from me (“Owned,” one of my poems from the 7-Day Poem Challenge), but it was read in Big Daddy Caraway’s smokin’ hot voice (wow, oh wow wow wow) and it was paired with…

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

My brilliant pal Tamsin Flowers’ “Red Hot Zombie Cock”!

I couldn’t be more thrilled!

"Red Hot Zombie Cock" KMQ's cover by Big Daddy Caraway

Big Daddy’s fabulous cover for the tale!

“Red Hot Zombie Cock” is the first story in Tamsin’s insanely clever collection, Zombie Erotoclypse. I remember the first time I read this tale—I thought, oh my god, this woman made zombies sexy! Not only is she an incredible writer, but she’d done something new. I loved it! And hearing it narrated by Ms. Caraway with Big Daddy’s awesome musical choices? Fantastic!

Then, of course, Big Daddy narrated my poem “Owned” to open the show, and I’m telling you—my whole day was made complete. Between his voice and Tamsin’s zombies just in time for Halloween, it’s quite a ride!

So, please head on over to The Kiss Me Quick’s to give this episode a listen. I hope you’ll enjoy it!

XX,
Jade

Cover of Holding My Breath

Peek Into the Mind of a Casanova—Quinn from Holding My Breath is Here!

It’s official—all the hot people come to my site.

How do I know? Because today I have a very special guest—and he’s sexy. Plus, he’s a good speaker. He dresses well. He’s clever. And…well, he’s all sorts of things, really, but what you need to know is that many, many women pay good money for the pleasure of his company.

Here’s a brief introduction:HMBbanner04

Uh-huh. That’s right—I’d like you to meet Quinn! This professional Casanova thrives in A.M. Hartnett’s most recent book, Holding My Breath, and today I asked if I might be able to book some time with Quinn (free of charge) to ask him a few questions.

Lucky you, he said yes. And as if his answers weren’t delightful enough, I’ve also got a sexy blurb and excerpt for you. So, please read on and enjoy your introduction to the super sexy Quinn…

Hello Quinn. I’m so glad you joined me. And I have to say, um, wow. You have a definitive look, and it’s smokin’. How did you create your “style”?

Simple and classic is what I’m going for. For all the trends that have come and gone, women still get wet when they see a man in a well-cut suit. They like playing with the cufflinks and the lapels, and they like watching it come apart a piece at a time — the tie comes loose and the top button undone, the jacket slung on the back of a chair and the shirt-sleeves rolled up. A woman loves seeing a $3000 suit tossed aside for fucking as much as a man likes to see a $3000 dress on the floor next to the bed.

Good point. Speaking of things to see…women love scars, and your knuckles have certainly been marked. Care to share more about that set of scars?

Would you believe I used to be trailer trash? Up until I turned 18, I was a nasty little shit. I used my fists to get what I wanted, and once I had it I used my fists to keep it. It landed me in hot water and I was forced to learn that I couldn’t always have what I want, when I wanted it. It helps now that I have the money. Anyway, I’ve learned that the scars are a nice addition to the total package. They show that I’m not just pretending to be a bad boy, that at some point in my life I was a bad boy.

Let’s be real—women are hiring you, but when they see you, they melt. How does that feel for you?

Honestly, why would I want to be someone’s dildo? There’s more money in selling the entire fantasy. I can be anything a woman wants. All she has to do is pay her money up front.

Oh, Quinn. So matter-of-fact. I love that about you. But…tell us about the first time you saw Molly. What was your instant reaction to her?

It wasn’t like a kick in the gut or love at first sight. I was sitting in the bar at the hotel when I saw an attractive woman pass by. I paid her a bit of attention, then went on with my business. The next time I saw her, the same. So on and so forth. She’s a knock-out and I wanted to fuck her. That’s it.

What about when you discovered Molly had “hired” you to kick you out of the hotel? What did you think upon entering the room?

It took me a few minutes to figure out where I knew her from, so when I entered the room I figured I was just meeting another client. Normally I meet them in the bar, but she rejected this, so on first sight I figured this was a married woman who didn’t want to be seen out with another man. Then I realized it was the front desk manager I’d been eyeballing. My first reaction after that was mixed. I was equal parts “oh goody, now I get to play with that” and “oh fuck, she’s about to tell me to piss off.”

That meeting was so good. So good… As was the first time you give Molly your name. It’s…well, people will have to read it, but let’s just say that moment is pretty damn hot. You totally got off on playing that power card, didn’t you? And that’s a lot of Molly’s attraction to you—what comes out of your mouth. Were you born this clever and sexy, or what?

My grandfather, who was one of those people who only spoke when it was necessary, mostly raised me. When he spoke there was a sort of music to it. He had a deep voice and a thick Newfoundland accent. Listening to him was like listening to Shakespeare, if that makes sense. I think I developed what’s been called a “silver tongue” from him, but I talk a lot more. I never shut up, probably because in Pa’s house I was the only one doing the talking most of the time. I like to talk.

And I like dirty talk, obviously. With Molly, it was more of a case of talking to tangle her up a little so I could do the unravelling. When I finally gave her my name — and as you’ve mentioned, I made a little production of it — was the beginning of me loosening the knots I’d made.

*Leans forward.* You say you’re able to “unlock” a woman. Tell us more about that. When did you first discover you had this ability? How did you hone it?

In another time I might have been the perfect scam artist. I can read people. I’m really good at reading people. I can use silence to work out what they want, and then fill in the holes by talking around them. I pay attention. I test out different tones. I throw out little nibbles, one at a time, until the women I’m with has had her fill. It’s different with every woman — Molly, for instance, will gorge herself on what I dish out and it’ll sometimes get away from me.

What is it about Molly that’s different from your normal clients and that’s drawing you in? You almost seem bewildered by how much you instantly like her—almost. What about her is drawing such a reaction out of you?

I’ll admit it, Molly had me twisted around her little finger the second she opened her mouth. She tells me she was a little nerved up when I walked in, but I didn’t get any of that. She played my game right from the start but kept up with me. She wasn’t taking any crap, that much was clear from the start, but there was a calm and softness about her that had quite the effect on me. I just wanted to sit back and negotiate with her. I remember thinking that this was a little like foreplay.

That’s another thing I liked about Molly. She didn’t look down at me. It would have been easy to just have security have a word with me but she treated me with respect, and when I made my case about sticking around until New Year, she listened.

And what was your reaction when Molly called you up to a hotel room—for the second time?

Another confession — I was worried she wouldn’t, so I blew out a sigh of relief when I got that text. I don’t become infatuated that often, but I couldn’t get her out of my head for the rest of the evening. The next day, thinking about meeting her again, I could barely concentrate. She made me ticklish.

Aww. All right, so you are threatening to quit your gig at 36. Why 36? Why not 40? What’s special about 18 years?

I started doing this when I was eighteen, so basically I had been doing this half my life. That seems long enough, don’t you think?

Fair enough. Say, if you could go back to 18-year-old you, what would you tell him?

I don’t think I’d tell him anything. It might knock some sense into his head and change things. Up until recently, I could make a list a mile long of things I’d change about the last eighteen years, but now I think I’m good. It took me longer than most to get where I need to be and I needed all the highs and the lows.

And good you are, Quinn. Thank you so much for joining us.

*

There you have it, everyone! Quinn is a delight of a man in this dirty new book from A.M. Hartnett. Holding My Breath is available on Amazon right now, and you can find out more in the blurb and excerpt below!

Read the blurb:

“It’s a skill not every man possesses, and it can’t be taught. That’s why I’m good at what I do.”

For half his life Quinn has been making his living as a professional Casanova. Challenged by Molly to take his business elsewhere, he strikes a bargain with her: give him until New Year’s Eve and she’ll never see him again, and in the meantime he’ll make it worth her while.

As their arrangement becomes a passionate affair, there’s no denying that Molly’s been waiting for him to come into her life for a very long time. She never imagined that a man like Quinn would be the one.

Cover of Holding My Breath

Read an excerpt: 

Her phone rang just before noon, as she was pushing through the back door with her arms loaded with groceries.

It was Quinn. She knew it by the ringtone she had set a few days earlier: The Tragically Hip’s ‘Fireworks’. The lively tune was muffled in the pocket of her anorak, but she could hear the words in her head. He’d cooked her dinner one night, and when she told him she’d never heard the song he put it on repeat and told her about how he’d once dragged himself, barely lucid with the flu, to their concert when he was in his early twenties.

Not caring about whether she cracked her eggs or squashed her bread, Molly tossed the black fabric bags onto the counter and dug into her pocket for the phone.

‘Hey there,’ she answered.

‘It’s Saturday, isn’t it?’

‘A question like that just goes to show you’re not a man who works the nine-to-five, otherwise you’d know it in your bones that it was Saturday.’

‘Words cannot express how horny I was when I woke up a little while ago. I’m sitting here in my empty apartment with my hard-on in my hand thinking about how much better I’d feel if it was in your mouth.’

Molly shivered as she unzipped her coat. ‘And this call is to ask for assistance with this problem?’

A low laugh tickled in her ear. ‘I know exactly what you’re doing right now. You’re biting your lip and squeezing your legs together.’

‘Oh, you think you’re so smart,’ she replied, but he was right. Even over the phone he made her feel as though he was right behind her, lips close to her ear, what little space between them electric.

She was sure that if he were there with her, he’d already be undressing her. It made her wet just thinking about it.

‘I want you to drop what you’re doing and meet me in the park. I want to bring you to my place.’ He sucked in a quick breath, and then let out a low moan. ‘I’ve got one hell of a view from my sofa, and I want to make it better by putting you on your knees in front of me.’

Once she hung up, Molly felt electric. The commute was the same one she took to work and she could have been at his place in just over half an hour, but she had the sense that this was going to be an occasion, and she wanted to dress the part. She wanted to be a bombshell for him, for herself, and so she slipped into a black bra and thong set and accentuated it with a matching belt and stocking set. She covered it all up with a green bateau dress, then tucked herself back into her anorak.

Luckily, they were going through a mild spell and the wait by Lake Ontario didn’t leave her with pins and needles in her nearly bare thighs and ass. He appeared on the boardwalk, jogging towards her in navy-blue track pants with white stripes and a grey T-shirt patched with sweat stains.

For a moment he didn’t see her, which gave her the luxury of getting over the shock of viewing him in this element. She didn’t get to see it that often. When he came in from a run while at her place he bolted right to the shower and emerged brand new. The most she got was a blur.

The dirty sneakers and the reddish hair curling around the edges were such a far cry from the spit and polish of his trade. There was Quinn the smooth, the heartthrob women paid to spend a few hours with, and then there was Quinn who lounged, rumpled and gorgeous, in the bed she had slept alone in for so long.

She liked this incarnation, and rose to meet him. As his attention fell on her, he slowed down to a trot.

‘You must be frozen,’ she said as he slowed, a smile forming on his lips, and leaned into him when he was close enough. ‘What happened to your hard-on?’

‘I had a brief chat with my dick and told him if he was patient, he’d have something better than my hand to contend with.’ He slipped his arm around her, and she parted her lips for him, but he quickly pushed her away. ‘I stink, and I don’t want to sweat all over you – yet.’ He took her hand. ‘I’ll shower, and unless I come up with something better, I’m going to spread you out on my dining-room table and fuck you half-dressed.’

She glanced around to see if anyone had heard, and was strangely disappointed to discover that no one had. Other joggers, some alone and some in pairs, ran past them on the path, oblivious to the sexual negotiations that had opened up. The moment was so significant to her that it was almost insulting that no one noticed the earth shift a little under their feet.

**

Mmm hmm…that’s Quinn for you. Wow. You can find out more about all books in the Carried Away series right here. Don’t miss out on this series, it’s hot!

XX,
Jade

“I always look forward to what A.M. Hartnett is going to say next. This is the truth. Whether in an email, a blog post, on Twitter, or in one of her erotic stories, I am always curious to see what Hartnett will come up with. She’s got me on the edge of my seat (in more ways than one).” – Alison Tyler, author Dark Secret Love.

A.M. Hartnett began writing erotica upon receiving what, at the time, she considered very bad advice from a career counselor. Since 2006, her short stories have appeared on the web and in various anthologies, including Kristina Wright’s Best Erotic Romance series and Rachel Kramer Bussel’s Curvy Girls.

Find out more about A.M. Hartnett at http://www.thebewilderedwriter.com.

My personal optimist motto pencils, a gift from Alison Tyler

You Win Some, You Lose Some (But Then You Win More)

It is finally October.

*Breathes enormous sigh of relief.*

My Sexy Optimist Pencils from Alison Tyler

Alison Tyler got me these pencils from Carbon Crusader as a participation prize—with my own personal motto on them!

To be clear, September was probably the most brutal month I’ve had in years. I had a gazillion things going on (no, really, a gazillion), and I felt more challenged than the proverbial hamster on a wheel. See, I was a runner on a treadmill asked to juggle fireballs, kittens, and jello with one hand tied behind my back, wearing a blindfold and chewing gum while also singing Christmas carols. It was nuts! My day job went full-tilt chaos; I had so many events scheduled I turned insomniac again; I had a jury duty run that, to be honest, was extremely emotional and brought up some old “stuff” for me (fortunately, I was dismissed after two days); and on top of all that, I wasn’t getting my words in. I’m an extremely fast writer, but when you don’t have the time, you don’t have the words. I also try not to write when I haven’t been sleeping, because bad things happen—I get forgetful. Plot points disappear. Characters lose important traits. Dialogue gets painful. And on and on…I mean heck, even outside the writing, I was so tired I had two conversations with a friend in one day and completely forgot it was her birthday. OMG. I don’t do that, like, ever—I’m the Keeper of the Birthdays! (Fortunately, she’s not a big birthday person. She laughed the whole thing off and told me to get some sleep.)

So all stressful things aside, here’s the deal—I’m generally a super optimist. I admit, I struggled to hang on to that as the month continued, and I had to keep reminding myself what a certain family member of mine always says: “How do you eat the elephant, honey? One bite at a time.

I would never eat the legendary Bertha, but you get the idea.

I would never eat the legendary Bertha, but you get the idea.

So I kept repeating that to myself…

One bite.

One bite.

One bite.

Come here, Bertha baby, you’re mine.

In truth, some of this figurative elephant eating was pretty kick-ass, and since there was so much goodness, I’m going to list it out for you:

♦ I got to join Rose Caraway in a bunch of readings for The Sexy Librarian’s Big Book of Erotica. It needs to be said I love reading out loud, plus, I got to read my girl Tamsin Flowers’s delightful story, “POW! It’s Shibari Girl!” Great story, great events, AND, as it turns out, reading with Rose is better than ice cream with brownies and fudge sauce on top. It’s so much fucking fun! It doesn’t hurt that she and her fabulous husband, Big Daddy, are like the nicest, sweetest people on the planet, so every event I attended and participated in was fantastic!

♦ I hung out with other amazing people at all these events, too! Of course there was the lovely Malin James (whom I’m so close to I’m convinced she is my twin separated at birth), the sassy and delightful social media guru Eva Gantz, and the charming and sweet Sinclair Sexsmith. I had so many incredible conversations with each of them!

♦ Malin James and I went to one of Rose Caraway’s events as viewers, and we ended up having drinks with Rose, Big Daddy, and the legend that is Rachel Kramer Bussel. Guys, seriously—I had drinks with Rose, Big Daddy, Rachel KB, and Malin! Holy smokes!

♦ I finished my edits for Coming Together: Among the Stars, a sci-fi erotica anthology edited by Lynn Townsend and coming soon to benefit International Still’s Disease Foundation. I’ll have details on the book and my story, “The Joy Ride,” in the near future!Cover of Among the Stars

♦ I joined a randy group of wild writers for an upcoming anthology called Chemical (Se)X. Details forthcoming, but for now I’ll just say chocolate and sex.

♦ I got to support my graphic memoirist friend, MariNaomi, in the release of her new book in San Francisco! Mari is a personal friend and mentor in many ways, so I loved seeing her celebrate the release of her book. So proud!

♦ I celebrated my soon-to-arrive niecey #2 or nephew #1 (to be determined!) at a baby shower. (I love being an auntie.) 🙂

♦ I wrote several erotic poems inspired by the challenge Tamsin Flowers issued at our last Pillow Talk Secrets session. This was fun and fabulous; I got to stir up my poetry roots while getting in some smutty words in seriously short time increments—and I even started a page for it! This was the bulk of the writing I did all month. You know what? It wasn’t a ton, but it still felt like a win. And speaking of wins…

♦ I shared more fabulous moments with my Pillow Talk girls. Malin James and Tamsin Flowers are, quite simply, the loveliest. I’m a happy camper having the both of them in my life. (MUAH to you both!)

♦ And then there was the ginormous feat…I completely transferred my website to a self-hosted space. This involved a whole heck of a lot of design and setup work behind the scenes that could not have been possible without my awesome teacher, DomSigns. When his dreamy wife, Molly Moore, initially offered to help, I had no idea what I was in for—namely, a bevy of delightful Skype sessions that resulted in (a) me learning a ton and (b) us laughing a lot (mostly at naughty jokes). I can now proudly say that this site is damn near done and censorship free. There are a few other little things I have planned and/or need to fix, but holy torpedo, Batman, transfer complete!

So basically, despite all the chaos, I came out smiling. I may be ragged and tired, but I’m happy and have time again—which means I can get back to the book I had half-written before The Attack of September. Yeah!

Now, I just have one more thing to say:

October, baby—you’re my bitch.

XX,
Jade

 

Cover of The Sexy Librarian's Big Book of

The Sexy Librarian’s Big Book of Erotica

Hi everyone! Today I’m thrilled to be the next stop on Rose Caraway’s The Sexy Librarian’s Big Book of Erotica tour! This book is positively fabulous—it mixes genres, sex, and one incredibly sexy librarian to meet all sorts of desires. Some of you may recall that I jumped on the live book tour and did a little reading with Ms. Caraway, so I admit, I’m a tad biased. However, this book has so many delicious things going for it, I had to share!

Picture of The Sexy Librarian's Big Book of Erotica

Here’s the thing—beyond the sexy cover (on which the model is “wearing a book,” according to the very clever Ms. Caraway), this isn’t just a book of erotica. It’s a collection of carefully curated stories containing massive variety, which is what’s made it such a delightful read. It truly is a librarian’s anthology, complete with an “old-fashioned” library catalog entry to classify each story. Take, for example, the card from one of my favorites:

Library card catalogue image for Pow! It's Shibari Girl!As you can see, this special touch not only makes the book fun, but it allows the reader to pick exactly what she or he is in the mood for. (Seriously, why has this never been done before?) In this case, I saw the name Tamsin Flowers (whom most of you know I adore), the category “Superheros” and then the subject “Spandex”—and hello. I was in!

But there’s more than clever cards making this book so great. The sexy librarian herself, Rose Caraway, has done a wonderful job of collecting beautiful, artistic, and oft-literary pieces that take the erotica genre to a whole new level. Take “Mikhael” by Angela Caperton—this was another of my favorites written in an exquisitely dark voice, a voyeuristic supernatural/ghost story with some smoking f/f scenes to spice the whole thing up. Kristina Wright’s “Vivi and the Magic Man” was another lovely twist, mixing fantasy and horror with such a rich gypsy feel I could picture Port City and everything that happened there (and you’ll have to read it to figure out what, but my hint is straight from the catalog card: “Demon Orgy”). While I have a fondness for speculative fiction stories, there were other works in here that added something for everyone— “The Mating Chamber” by Caraway herself takes us on a journey through mating customs in a matriarchal (and seriously sexy) society; “Notes on a Scandal” by Kelly Maher paints a charming library romance complete with love letters; and Kate Maxwell’s “The Skilled Technician” still has me wishing my car would break down, like, stat.

But you don’t have to take my word for it. To whet your appetite, I have an exclusive excerpt to share with you!

From Kay Jaybee’s “Taped”:

Flinging the back doors of his transit van wide open, Ryan called to his girlfriend as she unlocked the industrial-sized greenhouse where they worked. “Are you still up for helping me do the deliveries today, Beth?”

“Sure am.” Beth began to box up some plants ready for loading.

Ryan’s lips curved up suggestively as he took the first tray of flowerpots from her outstretched hands. “Good. A bit of company could be fun.”

Beth couldn’t help but smile back when she saw the mischievous glint in his mahogany eyes. “No need to look so excited, I’m only going to be carrying boxes of flowers in and out of your van.

The That’s what you think, stare Ryan gave her in reply sent a mild stirring of unease tripping down Beth’s spine.

Holding Beth’s gaze, Ryan picked up three thick blankets. “You can start by helping me lay these blankets on the van floor.”

The memory of the fantasy Ryan had shared with her the night before, as they’d rolled around, limbs entangled, on his king-sized bed, suddenly loomed large in Beth’s mind. “You aren’t serious?”

Not sure she wanted to hear Ryan answer her question, Beth busied herself with wrapping extra strips of bubble-wrap around the bases of the flowerpots, giving herself time to remember how to breathe properly. She knew precisely what that dangerously sexy expression on Ryan’s face could mean.

Two months ago, while walking along a beach, he’d shared a seafront fucking fantasy with her. The next minute Beth had been on her hands and knees, her lover’s beautiful cock easing in and out of her, while her nub was tickled with the tip of a hermit-crab shell. The memory of how scared she’d been of someone spotting them while they rutted in the sand, and how aroused the thought of discovery had made her, sent quivers of confused longing through Beth’s chest. The look he’d given her then, and the one Ryan was giving her now, were almost identical.

“You know I’m serious.”

***
Sexy, hmm? So, what you’ll want to do right now is pick up your very own copy of this book. You can buy it on Amazon, at Barnes and Noble, and at Cleis Press.

But wait! I have more news. Want to hear some of these stories live? Rose Caraway will be reading at Books, Inc. in the San Francisco Castro at 7:30pm tonight, and then again tomorrow, September 25th, at the Good Vibes Lakeshore store in Oakland, CA from 6:30 to 8:30pm. I’m extra tickled to be helping her read on this latter date alongside the talented Sinclair Sexsmith! If you can, please join Rose Caraway at one of these events—watching her read from The Sexy Librarian’s Big Book of Erotica is quite a treat!

In the meantime, don’t forget to pick up your copy.

XX,
Jade

Cover of Kristina Lloyd's Undone

Kristina Lloyd’s Undone Tour is Here!

Sometimes, there are authors who take you on twists and turns you don’t anticipate. For me, Kristina Lloyd is one such author. Clever and dazzling, Kristina writes intelligent erotica—as in, she doesn’t do the expected, the cookie cutter, or the mundane. She does real, she does hard, and she does damn sexy. The first book I read of hers was Thrill Seeker, and I had a lot of similar things to say about her writing when I reviewed that book and got hooked in for more.

Today she’s here to tell us all about her new book, Undone. I’m delighted to have been able to ask her all sorts of questions about the book as well her personal interests, and now I get to share the interview with you. So, please read on to hear from the talented and lovely Kristina Lloyd!

Picture of Undone Blog Tour Logo

Hi Kristina! Thank you so much for joining us. I am so excited about Undone! It sounds positively divine. I’d like to start by asking some questions about the book. Tell us about your inspiration for the main character, Lana.

Somewhat prosaically, she was inspired by a friend of a remote friend on Facebook. I’m terribly nosy, as are most writers, and something about this woman caught my eye. When I checked out her profile, I found an intriguing and beautiful woman who looked to have an effortlessly great life. She didn’t have the conventional trappings of domestic bliss and wealth but instead owned a hip shop in London, had loads of friends, a couple of kids, excellent taste in clothes and so on. And I wondered what went on under the surface? If someone like that felt they were unraveling within, would their success and well-constructed lifestyle enable them to conceal it from those around them? And if so, for how long? When would the cracks start to show?

Nice. You always go so much deeper, which is what I love about your work! Speaking of, the plot of this book is classic dark, transgressive, edgy KL style: a naughty threesome goes horribly awry. (Or does it?) Where did you come up with this idea?

I had an idea to start with a dead body at a party and developed the storyline from there. I should stress: nobody dies during the threesome!

Phew! 🙂 So, without giving away too much, will you tell us a little about how this threesome sparks? One was a customer in the bar, right? What about the other man? And how did they end up jumping on this hot fantasy adventure?

Basically, Lana asks the two guys if they’d be up for it! She’s no shy, retiring violet. They’re at a weekend house party in the country. She’s briefly met Sol, and thinks he’s cute, and the other guy, Misha, the one who ends up dead, is a regular at her bar. She’s attracted to Sol, but he’s playing it cool, and Misha is hanging out with them that evening. Lana asks, “So what’s a girl got to go to get laid around here?” I wanted to establish her as someone who has ownership of her sexuality and is able to direct her desires accordingly. The men are surprised but they’re both kinky and open-minded, and so the three of them head off to the bedroom.

“Ownership of her sexuality”—this pleases me. As does Lana’s apparent vintage handcuff collection! Um, more deets on that, please. (Bonus if you have pics.)

Haha! Lana buys a cocktail bar and starts a vintage handcuff collection after getting divorced. I have a whole post about cuffs over at The Kinky Brits on Friday. And yes, there will be pics!

*Grins.* All right, can you tell us your favorite character to write in this story and why?

Oh, that’s a tricky one! The story is very much focused on Lana and Sol. They’re both quite complex characters, and there’s more to them than meets the eye. Probably Sol. I loved writing the part where we get to the heart of him.

If you could take any of them out to hang in Lana’s bar, who would you pick?

I’d happily drink a few tequilas with Sol. And the rest.

Speaking of the bar…what’s Lana’s drink of choice?

Martini. Her taste is for elegant classics.

Now, I know you’ve expressed some worry over the spoiler potential of this book. Did you want to say anything more on that here? 

The book has a couple of twists. Sooner or later someone will reveal them in a review. I’m just hoping to stave off that moment for as long as possible so readers can enjoy the book as it’s meant to be enjoyed.

That’s fair—and I promise to keep my lips sealed! Okay, next I have a huge question for you, but… your work often showcases a woman with “darker” wants than what’s considered “normal” and/or “acceptable” in most erotic romance—thank you for always doing that. There seem to be the walls confining the genre, and then there is you punching your awesomely intelligent fist through them. How does it feel to write women who have realistic interests that contradict the expectation?

Thank you! I’m not the only writer doing this, thank God, and I think it’s important we keep on doing it, keep challenging the current notion that softcore romance typifies female desire. I write a lot about women who get off on humiliation, degradation, forced submission, rough sex and shame. I think these are valid kinks but it’s not an easy sell. I think most people, even if they’re not into BDSM, can appreciate why someone might enjoy handcuffs or a spanking; less so the psychological aspects.

Excellent points, and I 100% agree. Keep working your magic, Kristina! Now it’s time to move on to some more personal questions. I would describe your stories as erotic thrillers—did you always write erotica, or did you start in the thriller genre (or some other genre) first?

I started in erotica. I’ve dabbled in horror, and I’d love to try my hand at writing a suspense thriller one day.

So are you a plotter or do you fly wild when you write?

I plot, in part because I’m accustomed to presenting my publisher with a synopsis to secure a commission. I invariably deviate from the plot but don’t go wildly off track. I’m usually writing the opening scenes as I plot, and that’s the nearest I get to free fall.

Tell us about your writing process. Where do you do it? Do you work on one project at a time, or many?

My process changes with my personal circumstances. Undone was mainly written around a day job, at weekends, on early mornings and evenings. I write better in the morning when I’m still a little doozy, and before my head has been overtaken by more ordered thought processes. I’d sometimes get up at 5am to work on Undone. I find evenings are better for editing. I’m always at my desk and I work in silence. No cafes or music for me. Ideally, I’d work on single projects. I prefer to immerse myself in a story rather than juggle several.

What’s your favorite genre to read, and what are you reading now?

I’m currently hooked on female-penned suspense thrillers. I’ve just devoured Liane Moriarty’s The Husband’s Secret and next up is Elizabeth Haynes’ Revenge of the Tide.

I used to devour those myself—I was an Erica Spindler fiend! But back to your thrilling and sexy book—say Lana makes you a drink. What’s your pick?

Margarita! It’s my fave, and I know she’d make a great one. Sharp, sour and salty. Yum.

And last but not least—the inescapable question when you’re hanging with me—what’s your favorite candy?

I don’t do sweet stuff! Can I have a bag of salted cashews instead? Or can I lick fresh sweat from a hot, naked man? I’m quite partial to salt. And to hot, naked men.

Ha! Well, there you have it, folks! The wonderfully talented and brilliant Kristina Lloyd! I’m so happy she joined us today to talk about her interests as well as her delicious new book, Undone. Thanks, Kristina!

Want to know more about Undone?

Here’s the blurb:

When Lana Greenwood attends a glamorous house party she finds herself tempted into a ménage à trois. But the morning after brings more than just regrets over fulfilling a fantasy one night stand. One of the men she’s spent the night with is discovered dead in the swimming pool. Accident, suicide or murder, no one is sure and Lana doesn’t know where to turn. Can she trust Sol, the other man, an ex-New Yorker with a dirty smile and a deep desire to continue their kinky game?

Buy it at:

Amazon UK paperback :: Amazon UK Kindle :: Amazon US Kindle :: Amazon CA paperback :: Amazon CA Kindle

Don’t miss out, everyone! I’ve got this one already on my nightstand, teasing and taunting me to dig right in. It’s going to be so good!

Thanks for joining us!

XX,
Jade

Kristina Lloyd writes erotic fiction about sexually submissive women who like it on the dark, dirty and dangerous side. Her novels are published by Black Lace and her short stories have appeared in dozens of anthologies, including several ‘best of’ collection, in both the UK and US. She lives in Brighton, England.

 

 

Picture of panties around red shoes

Best Sex On the Net: Elust #62!

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Photo courtesy of Bawdy Bloke

Welcome to Elust #62

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #63? Start with the rules, come back October1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Sex Blogger Life: Real Talk

Selfies, Shame and Safety

‘Dress me like a slut and punish my cock’

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

I live in a sex-positive bubble.

Wicked Wednesday: Silent Memories

 

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
Are you guilty of slut-shaming sex doll lovers?

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

 

Writing About Writing

Why can’t I write gay erotica?!
Cream doesn’t rise: the state of UK erotica
Coming clean about writing dirty…
The Big Book of Submission: 69 Kinky Tales

Erotic Non-Fiction

I’ve Collared Myself a Human Pony
Strapped Back In
View From The Bridal Suite
It’s a date (2/2)
Your Tears Make Me Wet.
Photograph
Spanking – the ultimate mood changer

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Yes, I am a slut. So?
M feels that labeling myself “gay” erases him
“Appearance Not Important”
Traditional sexual consent vs bdsm consent
Bigger Doesn’t Mean Better!
All in One Person: Thoughts on Non-Monogamy
I Lust, Therefore I Am
Buddhism and Poly
The Great Outdoors
My Love Is Not About You #SameSexCouples
Thinking of You
Tantra Massage For Multiple Male Orgasm

Blogging

Blogging: My Layout Pet Peeves
An Unpleasant Outing

Erotic Fiction

The Flight Attendant’s Return Home…
Kinky Cocktail Story Time: The Jelly Bean
Spanked Silent
Hunted

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Quantification of Everything (Especially Sex)
Polyphobia – The New Homophobia

 

Thoughts and Advice on Kink and Fetish

For Submissives.
Protocols. I Want.
When You Can’t Trust Your Body
Masters Guilt
BDSM Is Not (the only) Kink
Fetal

 

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Cover of Wrapped Around Your Finger by Alison Tyler

Wrapped Up in Fantasies with Alison Tyler

Got your attention, now, didn’t I? 😉 Well, good—because today I’m hosting the next stop on Alison Tyler’s Wrapped Around Your Finger tour!

Alison Tyler is a brilliant author of many stories, but her Submission series is simply unbeatable. In case you missed the first two books, Dark Secret Love and The Delicious TormentI reviewed the pair of them right here. I’m bouncing off the walls to read the third, as I’m sure you are, too—and so it is with great pleasure that I turn the floor over to Ms. Tyler, so that she can tease us with her thoughts on fantasy as well as a seriously dirty, smokin’ hot excerpt. *Wipes brow.* It’s good, guys, so good!

Now there’s only one question—are you ready?

I sure hope so.

Here’s Alison!

***

Cover of Wrapped Around Your Finger by Alison Tyler

Step into My Fantasy

The word “fantasy” appears in 1,192 files on my computer.

The word “fantasies” appears in 1117.

I don’t know why I like to check things like that, but I do. (“Bondage” appears in 892 files. “Spanking” appears in 1218. Just in case—like me—you were curious.)

But back to fantasies, daydreams, mental vacations—whatever you want to call the activity—I am a goner. I see a woman pass me on the street, and immediately I fantasize about who might be waiting for her at home. I entertain myself by describing what her bedroom looks like. Even the books she might have on her bedside table. All day long, I write little stories for so many people I pass in my life.

For strangers I run into on a regular basis, I continually build on the fantasy. There’s a vampire I watch at my favorite coffee shop, and a silver fox I’m writing a shifter tale about.

Fantasies are an important theme for the characters in my fiction, as well. How could this not be so? If I am a 24/7 walking fantasy-mill, then it goes to figure that the people I create would share this characteristic with me.

Here’s a snip from Wrapped Around Your Finger:

“I know you want to,” Jack said. “I’m only going to make your deepest, darkest fantasies come true.”

“What fantasies?” I had to ask. What did Jack think my fantasies were?

“We’ll have the big back room at the restaurant,” Jack said. “When we arrive, you’ll strip down and get on your knees. I want you to service each man there.”

“Service?”

“With your mouth, baby. With your mouth. I want you to suck them all until they’re rock hard and ready. Your mouth is so sublime. I feel guilty that I’ve been so greedy with you. I should have been sharing this whole time. When the men experience that wet heat on their Johnsons, well. There’s no saying what will happen. I’ll have to take charge, to make sure they go slow. Then we’ll really see what you’re good for.”

Was Jack fucking with me? I couldn’t find my voice, couldn’t figure out where to look. Jack’s eyes were giving me no clear message. I sensed no level of teasing now. I stared down at the plate.

“And then?” I managed to ask, directing my query more to my food than to Jack.

“You want me to spell out everything, don’t you?”

I nodded. I could feel the throb in my sex. My clit was swollen, my pussy sodden. I wouldn’t have thought that those words would have turned me on so much. But Jack was spelling out desires I had never confronted in the past.

“We’ll spread you out on the table, and we’ll go to work. One man will eat your cunt while you suck another cock. We’ll get you so you don’t know if you’re coming or going. You won’t know which way is up. By the end, Sam, you’ll be this mess of longing, and we’ll take you exactly where you need to go.”

Where? I wanted to cry out. Where do I need to go, Jack?

“You’ll have a man in your pussy, a man in your ass and one in your mouth. You can do that, can’t you, Sam? You can take three at a time. I’m sure you can. Ultimately, you should be able to take more. A cock in each fist, perhaps. But tomorrow, there will only be three. You’d do that for me, wouldn’t you?”

I didn’t know how to respond. Was this one more of Jack’s tests, the type that had no correct answer? If I said I’d do what he wanted, then I was as good as stamping the word HARLOT on my passport. If I declined, if I lied and said his story hadn’t turned me on, then I’d be denying one of Jack’s commands. Plus, all he’d have to do is touch me between my legs to know the truth.

“Look at you,” Jack said lovingly. “You’re a mess already.”

***

Oh. My. God. YES!

Was that not the hottest excerpt ever? I’m telling you, this third installment is going to be incredible! Be sure to grab your copy on Amazon right now!

As for me—off to read more! 🙂

XX,
Jade

Alison Tyler has been called “a trollop with a laptop” by the East Bay Express, “a literary siren” by Good Vibrations, and “a hell of a writer” by Violet Blue. She is the editor of more than seventy-five anthologies for publishers including Pretty Things Press, Cleis, Plume, and Harlequin. Her novels include Dark Secret Love, The Delicious Torment and Wrapped Around Your Finger, which is the third in the “Submission Series” published by Cleis Press. Visit her at alisontyler.blogspot.com and follow her at twitter.com/alisontyler.

 

Picture of The Sexy Librarian's Big Book of Erotica

The Sexy Librarian’s Free Erotica Reading is at Good Vibrations Tomorrow Night!

Hey everyone!

If you haven’t heard, Rose Caraway—aka the sexy librarian—is the editor of a fabulous new anthology called The Sexy Librarian’s Big Book of Erotica. Tomorrow night (9/4), she’ll be celebrating her Book Release Party at the Polk Street Good Vibrations in San Francisco from 6:30 to 8:30! Woo hoo!

Picture of The Sexy Librarian's Big Book of Erotica

Malin James, Lily K. Cho and I will be joining the lovely Ms. Caraway to read selections from this hot book, and I’m delighted to be reading a story by my dear pal, Tamsin Flowers. It’s sure to be a fantastic time—I mean, it’s free, it’s packed full of erotica, and it’s in a toy store. Score! 😉

You can find out more about the event right here, and I hope you’ll come join us. We’d love to see you!

Please be sure to say hi!

XX,
Jade