Image of woman in stilettos reading a book in chair and looking up to the sky elated

Brilliance: I Want to Lick Your Brain

I have a strong suspicion this post should be subtitled Jade A. Waters Insanely Squeals About Her Crushes and Idols, but that seems so long.

Nonetheless, you’ve been warned.

Here’s the deal—the other day on Twitter, Valerie Alexander pointed out a kick ass song. It’s the Lana Del Rey version of “Once Upon a Dream” for the upcoming movie Maleficent. This song sent me squealing for a few reasons: I love Sleeping Beauty, I love the character of Maleficent, and most of all, every time I hear a Lana Del Rey song, I nearly want to lick her brain. I find her mesmerizing and clever, and her music gets me all worked up because it’s so hauntingly good.

To clarify, “I want to lick your brain” is not the same as a crush. For example, the aforementioned movie Maleficent stars one of my lifetime girl crushes—Angelina Jolie. She shares that title with Jennifer Connelly (come on, did you see her in, oh…every movie she ever did?), but these are still just crushes. And don’t even get me started on my male crushes—that list is so long I could write posts for years, starting with one on Hugh Jackman, in Wolverine and tap dancer form, separate or together. (Um, okay. Let’s go with together.)

But back to Lana…she’s one I want to brain-lick. She inspires thoughts and admiration, and a complete desire to somehow capture her essence in order to fire something creative in me. That is what it means to want to lick someone’s brain.

Let’s take another example. Remember Christopher Pike? He’s the author of such YA books as Whisper of Death, Remember Me, and Season of Passage. He rocked my reading world from age nine to eleven, and I still revisit his wickedly crafty writing about once a year. Now, granted, I do have a little crush on him because he’s SO DAMN BRILLIANT, and men who are that clever usually send a tingle up my spine, so we’ll call him a hybrid. That is, if I met Mr. Pike, I’d not only want to tongue every firing nerve in his head, but, I’d also willingly strip and lie down in the middle of the road to do whatever he asked. He’s just that good—he inspires me and turns me on. What a lucky fella. (Eh-hm. Paging Mr. Pike…)

Woman in stilettos sitting on a chair breaking from her book to stare at the ceiling in delight.

So. Damn. Good.

Most people I want to brain-lick can be classified as idols, but the term doesn’t seem to do them justice. A perfect example is Shanna Germain. This is a woman who is so brilliant that every time I finish one of her stories, I put the book down and utter a very loud, “Holy shit, Shanna, you’re fucking amazing.” Yes: Every. Single. Time. She is so inspiring I wish I could slow dance with her for hours in the hopes that I might mystically absorb some of her thoughts through proximity.

Another example is Alison Tyler. I’ve been worshipping her brain since I found her a few years back in Bedding Down with “It’s Not the Weather.” Nothing she writes disappoints—she’ll usually leave you stunned, stupefied, delighted, and wanting more. Then you add to Ms. Tyler’s phenomenal writing magic that she happens to be one of the nicest people on the planet, and maybe you can understand why I classify her as a brain-lick recipient. (Bonus: she’ll be hitting my blog next week for her Never Say Never blog tour. But put your tongue back in your mouth—I get her brain first.)

I have other brain-lick loves, but this post could go on for a while and I might sound a little crazier than I already do. Instead, I’m going to turn the question around on you—what’s your ultimate compliment for brilliance? Is it, “You’re fucking brilliant,” “You’re my idol,” “I want to capture your essence in a bottle,” or something else?

And more importantly, who is the recipient of your adoration, affection, and brain worshipping?

XX,
Jade

Picture of panties around red shoes

Me Against the Music

Chances are, you already saw Round Three of Alison Tyler’s Smut Marathon. (If you didn’t, get on over there right now and VOTE!) This one was quite interesting for me—Alison Tyler asked us to write a short piece inspired by whatever song we wanted. Sounds so easy, right?

Um…nope.

See, I love music—but apparently I’m very particular about when I listen to it. The problem is that I’m a singer and a dancer, so I am virtually incapable of listening to music without joining in or bopping around in one way or another. To be clear, I sing all the time in my house, and my neighbors can probably tell you how annoying this is since I love practicing for Karaoke Night in the shower—even when it’s not Karaoke Night. Hell, even if it’s five in the morning. Whatever. I’m singing and dancing in the shower, the living room, the kitchen…

This limits most of my music consumption to two occasions: while I’m driving in my car, and while I’m working out (no, I don’t sing there). Sometimes, I listen when I clean, but often I forget to turn it on and am done before I think of it.

So here Alison Tyler rolls around and asks us to use a song for inspiration. For some reason, I translated this into attempting to listen to music while writing. FAIL. Every time I played the song and broke to write, I kept singing the lyrics—and did you know, it’s quite hard to write what’s in your head when you’re singing along to what someone else wrote from inside her head? Yeah. Impossible. Or at least, it was for me.

I’m sure I’m not alone in this, but my impression is that many writers are inspired by music and use it to motivate them to write. I think that’s amazing, because it distracts the hell out of me. I can listen to it well in advance and maybe get a feeling or two, but the tune that works best when I’m writing is the sound of my fingers flying over the keyboard and the story blaring itself through my head.

Fine, fine. Other authors don’t use music. Phew. I’m not alone…

But wait.

It occurs to me this problem of mine extends beyond writing—I prefer not to have sex to music, either. No, really. It’s that bad. I won’t stop mid-encounter and say, “Wait! Stop! We must turn off the music!” or anything, but I prefer these things on their own. When it comes to sex, I love every little sound—the catch of a breath, the roll of a budding moan, the smack of skin on skin, and even the gentle brush of a caress. All of that is incredibly sexy to me. And when it comes to music, I’m so overjoyed to hear said clever artist syncing this lyric with that bridge or wickedly intriguing tone that I can’t fully acclimate. In truth, there is some poor bloke out there who can tell you about an 18-year-old me more interested in cooing over Fiona Apple’s Tidal album than our make out session (all right, this might have had more to do with my mediocre enthusiasm about the encounter, but still, I feel for the guy).

Now, I have a friend who is obsessed with music, and he informs me this problem only happens because my “partner isn’t doing it right,” otherwise I’d “connect with the music and the man.” Huh. An interesting theory. Ironically, this friend and I briefly dated years ago, and while we never had sex, he did effectively seduce me in a slow dance to some seriously sexy songs…so okay, maybe he’s right.

Or, maybe I’m just a weirdo. I don’t know. Music and me: it’s a strange relationship. I’m not saying these things never happen simultaneously, but on the whole, I guess I like to savor my activities separately.

Now I’m curious—does anyone else have a problem pairing music with [fill in your chosen activity]? I’d love to know. Please share…or just tell me I’m crazy.

Either way, please don’t forget to vote. I worked hard on this round! 😉

XX,
Jade

Picture of panties around red shoes

Get Your Sexy Vote On!

Great news, everyone—Round Three of the Smut Marathon is up!

This round was quite a challenge for me, and I plan to tell you all about it soon. But in the meantime, please click on over to Alison Tyler’s place and vote for your favorite story…

The poll is open until Friday night.

Thanks for voting!

XX,
Jade

Banner photo of eyes beneath veil

Finished Edits, Good Friends, and Delicious News!

Well, the craziest thing happened on Friday: I finished editing my book.

I wish I could tell you it was that simple, but it wasn’t. It was more like this:

Image from The Gif Garden on Tumblr

Image from The Gif Garden on Tumblr

Weird, right?

To be completely honest, I didn’t feel finished. I’ve refined this editing process that some might call garden-variety OCD, but it works for me with short stories. Naturally, I thought I’d apply the method to a whole damn book. I mean, I outlined and wrote the thing in less than six weeks, so eight weeks of hardcore editing sounded completely reasonable.

The problem was that along the way, a few other life things had me at my stress max. Like, for example, a breakup. Oh and then the breakup, part two. There was also a tremendous amount of insomnia, and then for bonus kicks, my day job imploded. Fine, fine, no big deal. Next, I had pre-tendonitis in a thumb (what?), followed by pre-tendonitis in a finger on my opposite hand (spiffy). Then, my cat got sick and needed to be coned, which resulted in my two cats having to be separated for two weeks. (Note: cats body slamming and clawing at doors to get at one another may sound cute, but it’s not helpful for any sort of sleep factor. Or editing factor, for that matter.)

So cut to Friday, when I’m about to launch the “final” edit—and there it was: the final meltdown. I threw myself on the floor and kicked my feet in overwhelmed agony. There were even a few tears.

Luckily for me, Malin James came to my rescue. If you don’t know her, here’s a summary: she’s fucking fabulous. We had a seriously lovely phone call in which she talked me down for a good twenty minutes and reminded me that I was too close and probably too thorough, and I’d be editing again after my beta babes read it, so why not just send the manuscript on now?

SO I DID. I mean, when brilliance speaks, you listen.

After I let the book go, I felt like a mama bird pushing her baby chick out of the nest—maybe a little too early, but okay. I’m sure I looked something like this:

Oh my word. Is it done? Can we really call it done? Wahhhh...<br />  (Image from Gifs for the Masses on Tumblr) 

Oh my word. Is it done? Can we really call it done? Wahhhh…
(Image from Gifs for the Masses on Tumblr)

Still, the proverbial weight was off my shoulders and I proceeded to enjoy my weekend. I finished a few things. I relaxed. I slept for two nights in a row. Oh my god. I SLEPT, guys. It was great.

Less than a week later, I’m slightly less insane more calm. I’ve dived into a couple new projects while my novel is in my beta babes’ hands. Hurray! After that, I might even ponder a sequel… 🙂

In the meantime, I have exciting news about a couple other people!

First, Alison Tyler is writing a sequel to Those Girls. Did you read Those Girls? If not, you’d better. Stat!

Also, next week, something awesome is happening. Look:

How cool is that? I can’t wait!

Okay. I think I’m finally calm now. Phew! And on top of that, I finished a book.

Which means…time for me to celebrate and write more!

XX,
Jade

P.S. Special thanks to my beta babes, who not only eagerly took the manuscript off my hands, but gave me further cheerful pep talks. Yeah, you know who you are. 😉

Picture of panties around red shoes

Vote, Vote, Vote…

Just a quickie to let you know that Round 2 of Alison Tyler’s Smut Marathon 2014 is up!

Once again, I have an entry in this Survivor-esque game of erotica writing challenges. We, the competitors, are subject to Ms. Tyler’s whims (aka assignments)…and then you, the lucky reader, get to vote!

As before, I can’t tell you which entry is mine—but I can bat my eyelashes and beg you to vote. Pretty please? With sugar and cherries on top?

Click right here to head on over to Ms. Tyler’s place and cast your vote! The entries are hot!

The poll is open until midnight on Sunday, and I’ll post results as soon as I know them.

Thanks for voting!

XX,
Jade

Neon sign of XXX

Triple the Smut

Okay, maybe it’s residual love from Valentine’s Day, or maybe it’s just a smutty kind of week, but I feel like sharing triple the smut.

Neon XXX sign

What does this mean, you ask? Well, starting today, I have three smutty pieces of goodness for you.

Today, I’m delighted to tell you about Alison Tyler’s Smut Marathon 2014. Ms. Tyler has run this game a few times, and this year, I’m thrilled to be a contestant! It’s basically Survivor for Erotica Writers—as in, Ms. Tyler issues a challenge and posts our (anonymous) responses, and YOU (yes, YOU, right there!) get to vote. How fun is that?

So, what I’d love for you to do is hop right over to Ms. Tyler’s site. You can read about all 15 of the contestants, and of course, read and vote on Round 1! While I can’t tell you which entry is mine, I can tell you I’m there and that I’d love for you to vote. There’s no way of knowing how long I’ll last, but I’m seriously excited to be playing.

Voting closes Thursday at midnight, so be sure to visit her site asap.

Now, what’s the smut for the rest of the week?

Oleander Plume—another contestant in the Smut Marathon, and also another author I’m happy to share pages with in Best Women’s Erotica 2014—is going to not only be hosting me on her site, but visiting here as well! Both stops have a special free hot story for you, so stay close for those posts. It’s going to be a smutty good time!

That’s all for now, so in the meantime, be sure to check out the Smut Marathon 2014 and vote. I’ve read all the lines and they’re sexy. And yes, I voted.

Won’t you? 🙂

XX,
Jade

Cover of The Delicious Torment

The Delicious Torment Blog Tour

Okay, everyone…I’ve been teasing you with this one for weeks!

Alison Tyler is something of a legend in the erotica world. She doesn’t seem to sleep, for one, as she’s always editing, blogging, tweeting, promoting others, and basically blowing everyone’s mind with how on top of it all she is. But she’s also been writing scintillating smut for decades. Her work is not only smokin’ hot, but smart. She leans toward heavy BDSM tales, but hers are not the commercialized, softly submissive and wide-eyed characters that have become so popular these days. Alison’s characters are fully fleshed out, real people, with desires ranging all over the place—top, bottom, dom, sub, rough, tender, heavy, light. Doesn’t matter. It’s all super hot!

This is a large part of why her current series is such a hit. Add to this that the story is semi-autobiographical, and you can understand why everyone is raving! Starting with Dark Secret Love, readers and reviewers cited the quality of writing and deliciousness of the tale. And then of course, there was the second book, aptly titled The Delicious Torment, which Alison is currently promoting across the blogsphere. This book is getting stellar reviews, too, leaving everyone deliciously tormented for book three. If you haven’t picked up this series, you best get right to it…

After you read on, that is—because I’ve got Alison Tyler here, sharing her thoughts on writer’s block and also a sultry excerpt from The Delicious Torment.

Take it away, Alison!

***The Delicious Torment Cover

One Way to Cure Writer’s Block:

People ask me all the time for my recipe to avoid writer’s block. The truth is that I don’t. I don’t do anything because I don’t get blocked. I always—and I mean always—move onto something else. This isn’t to imply that my writing never hits a rough patch. What it means is that my “New Stories” folder currently has 213 items.

Some pieces have only a title. Some a few lines. Some several thousand words. But I have trained myself to write on command.

And yet, like any writer, that doesn’t mean all my words are golden…

So curing writer’s block? Here’s one possible way, as featured in my book The Delicious Torment:

Jack came home to find me in a true black frame of mind. He’d never seen me like this before. I hate to say that I’m a perpetual optimist. Rarely, do I fall into true funks. Even when I was depressed during the months it took for me to break-up with Byron, I managed to have happy days. Sweet moments.

            Jack observed me in silence as he had his first drink of the evening, watched me stomp around in my heavy blue Docs, grumbling to myself. I wasn’t late on the deadline. But I’d wasted a day. I hadn’t taken my own standard advice of pushing the work aside and moving to something else. I hadn’t tried my basic tricks of going for a run on the beach, or even on the rubberized gray treadmill at Jack’s gym. Instead, I’d fallen in deeper and deeper. And, fuck me, I was beyond rational thought by the time Jack entered my mood.

            He walked around me, catlike, avoiding me. I’d said hello when he entered. I wasn’t a total idiot. I didn’t need to spark his wrath. But I couldn’t put on a smiling face, couldn’t tie on a false frame of mind like a lace apron around my waist and play happy housewife.

            He let me be for over an hour, and then he called me into the bedroom. I’d been reading and re-reading my notes, growing even more despondent about the likelihood that I’d be able to make this thing work. And then what? Would I have to go back to the beginning? Would I have to scrap the concept completely?

            Oh…god…

            “Samantha—“ Jack called, and I sighed, not wanting to get up from the desk, and not wanting to spend another fucking second staring at the words I disliked so intensely. “Now—“ His voice had been warm, welcoming, even. But at my hesitation, the change was immediate and intense. I could feel the cool air all the way to the spare room. And like an animal aware of a predator, I realized what I’d done.

            During the day, Jack had called, and I had been curt. Bordering on rude, even. I’d told him the situation, but I hadn’t asked him about his day, hadn’t been able to shake myself out of my mood even for a moment. As I headed toward the bedroom, I felt myself coming back to the present. For the first time all day long, I was able to leave the worries of my work behind. Because the worries of what Jack was up to surpassed them.

            When I got to the bedroom, I felt my mouth go dry. There was Jack, waiting. Jack, ready. Jack was dressed in a black t-shirt, a pair of black leather pants, and black boots. He wasn’t dressed like that to stay in—I could tell. He looked imposing and menacing in a manner I rarely saw. More serious somehow because of the severity of the outfit.

            On the bed was his favorite of my school-girl skirts, so short that you could practically read the back of my day-of-the-week panties (if Jack allowed panties to be worn). He had chosen a plain white blouse and a black cardigan, and a pair of high-heeled patent leather Mary Janes with ankle straps. White fishnet thigh highs completed he look. There were no panties on the bed. But his belt was coiled up next to the school-girl uniform.

            “When we’re finished here, you’ll get dressed. I don’t want to be late.”

            “Finished—“ I echoed, feeling the dismal mood slowly draining out of me, replaced bit by bit with a fresh wave of fear.

            “You don’t think I’m going to let your behavior today go unnoticed.”

            I hung my head.

            “Not rewarded, of course,” he continued. I heard the dark smirk in his voice, yet I knew that had I looked up, his face would be stone.

            “No, Jack.”

            He didn’t tell me what to next. He took over, coming forward and placing me roughly against the wall, palms flat to keep myself steady. He worked the buttons on my fly before hauling my jeans and panties down for me, just past my knees. His belt was already off, and he had easy access, was able to grab it up, double the leather, and start without hesitation.

            Each stroke felt impossible to bear. I don’t know why or even how the pain can fluctuate—or maybe it’s my ability to take the pain—maybe it’s the mood that matters. But I was in that place, that bratty, mule-headed place, and I lost my head. I tried to turn, to tell him—what? To tell him No? That it wasn’t fair? That I hadn’t done anything specifically to him? I’d been in a funk because of my writing. That was all.

            But none of that counted. My mood had bled into Jack’s world. And that’s all that mattered to him. That and the fact that I tried to fight the punishment, which changed the situation in a flash.

            He was on me, now, dragging me over to the bed. And I fought him, not wanting to get away—not really. If I had been desperate, I would have acted differently. We both knew that by now. I would have groveled. Begged. Wept. Instead, I tested him, struggling, and he had to work to get cuffs on me, to pin me down the way he wanted, ripping my jeans and panties all the way off and going to work on my ass now, seriously, with the belt, blow after blow, until the struggling subsided and I was….

            What was I?

            I was…. Tamed?

            No. Never tamed.

            Broken?

            No, not that either. Jack didn’t want to break me. He liked me wild and spirited.

            Fixed.

***

Ohhhh yeah. You know you want to pick that one up, and you can do so right here. Did you miss Dark Secret Love? You can grab that one right here.

I’ll give you one guess what I’m about to go read. 😉

XX,
Jade

Alison Tyler is the author of more than 25 novels, including Dark Secret Love and The Delicious Torment (Cleis Press). She has been called “a hell of a writer” by erotic super-editor Violet Blue. Visit her at alisontyler.blogspot.com and follow her at twitter.com/alisontyler.

Picture of panties around red shoes

Gratitude

It’s the week of Thanksgiving here in the States—a time of celebration, good food, and hopefully, a moment to reflect on all the things we’re grateful for in our lives. I’ve always loved hearing about the gatherings where each person shares something he or she is grateful for, so I hope each of you has an abundance of things to list this Thursday.

In the spirit of giving thanks, I’d like to take a minute to share my gratitude for a lot of different people I’ve had the pleasure of connecting with over the last few months. I have so much to be grateful for right now, and all of it is due to some extremely wonderful people.

First, I’m grateful that Rachel Kramer Bussel was willing to take a chance on “The Flogger” and add it to her beautiful collection, The Big Book of Orgasms: 69 Sexy Stories. I cannot be more thrilled that my first published piece is part of this anthology! I have more gratitude for a few other editors, such as Violet Blue for the honor of including me in Best Women’s Erotica 2014, and Pam van Hylckama Vlieg at Foreword for including me in Holiday Spice. And of course, there’s Alison Tyler, too, who keeps making me do happy dances. 🙂

I’d like to extend this gratitude to Cleis Press for publishing TBBOO, as well as for their ongoing efforts to provide quality erotica in some of the most lovely bound books I’ve seen in the genre. TBBOO and BWE 2014 are just two of many great books this house has released into the world, and I’m delighted to be part of their anthologies.

I’m also thankful for being able to connect with some fabulous writer pals. Some of you are pen pals, some of you are mentor friends, and all of you are inspiring me in one way or another. I’m incredibly glad we are connected!

I am grateful for family and friends too, many of whom have been encouraging me for years (especially you, S.M., who reminded me whenever I flitted off to something else over the years that writing was my true love and I should get back to it). A special thanks to M.N. and K.S. for nudging me (okay, tenderly shoving me when I kept dipping my toes) into erotica, since you both recognized it was what I really loved to write.

I’m also grateful for all the people who are starting to find my work, and who are so kindly sharing their thoughts on it with me. I am truly honored to get to share my writing publicly now, and hope that people continue to enjoy reading it (or at least read it!). 🙂

I wouldn’t be so passionate about erotica if I hadn’t read stories by some tremendous authors, so I’m grateful for finding the work of Shanna Germain, Alison Tyler, Isabelle Gray, Rachel Kramer Bussel, and Anaïs Nin, among others, some of whom you can find on my Blogroll. There are so many talented writers out there inspiring me right now, and I hope to continue learning a little something from all of them as I continue to write.

I could probably keep going on forever about how grateful I am, but I won’t. I do, however, hope that you have something that makes you feel as warm and fuzzy as all these special people have made me.

Finally, I wanted to share a completely unrelated little ditty with you—Alison Tyler, otherwise known as the Trollop with a Laptop, has been collecting pictures of bookshelf porn. She’s a complete voyeur and has a fetish for checking out everyone’s bookshelves, so she’s been running an ongoing series if you’d like to check it out (and you should). You can see my book preferences right here, and if you click on through her site, you’ll be able to see the sexy book arrangements of some other erotica authors and erotic-related folk, such as A.M. Hartnett, Emerald, Graydancer, and Charlie Powell. There are more to come, so be sure to take a peek!

In the meantime, I hope everyone has a wonderful and happy Thanksgiving. Be sure to curl up with your favorite spicy read, something I’m eternally grateful to get to do!

XX,
Jade