I have a strong suspicion this post should be subtitled Jade A. Waters Insanely Squeals About Her Crushes and Idols, but that seems so long.

Nonetheless, you’ve been warned.

Here’s the deal—the other day on Twitter, Valerie Alexander pointed out a kick ass song. It’s the Lana Del Rey version of “Once Upon a Dream” for the upcoming movie Maleficent. This song sent me squealing for a few reasons: I love Sleeping Beauty, I love the character of Maleficent, and most of all, every time I hear a Lana Del Rey song, I nearly want to lick her brain. I find her mesmerizing and clever, and her music gets me all worked up because it’s so hauntingly good.

To clarify, “I want to lick your brain” is not the same as a crush. For example, the aforementioned movie Maleficent stars one of my lifetime girl crushes—Angelina Jolie. She shares that title with Jennifer Connelly (come on, did you see her in, oh…every movie she ever did?), but these are still just crushes. And don’t even get me started on my male crushes—that list is so long I could write posts for years, starting with one on Hugh Jackman, in Wolverine and tap dancer form, separate or together. (Um, okay. Let’s go with together.)

But back to Lana…she’s one I want to brain-lick. She inspires thoughts and admiration, and a complete desire to somehow capture her essence in order to fire something creative in me. That is what it means to want to lick someone’s brain.

Let’s take another example. Remember Christopher Pike? He’s the author of such YA books as Whisper of Death, Remember Me, and Season of Passage. He rocked my reading world from age nine to eleven, and I still revisit his wickedly crafty writing about once a year. Now, granted, I do have a little crush on him because he’s SO DAMN BRILLIANT, and men who are that clever usually send a tingle up my spine, so we’ll call him a hybrid. That is, if I met Mr. Pike, I’d not only want to tongue every firing nerve in his head, but, I’d also willingly strip and lie down in the middle of the road to do whatever he asked. He’s just that good—he inspires me and turns me on. What a lucky fella. (Eh-hm. Paging Mr. Pike…)

Most people I want to brain-lick can be classified as idols, but the term doesn’t seem to do them justice. A perfect example is Shanna Germain. This is a woman who is so brilliant that every time I finish one of her stories, I put the book down and utter a very loud, “Holy shit, Shanna, you’re fucking amazing.” Yes: Every. Single. Time. She is so inspiring I wish I could slow dance with her for hours in the hopes that I might mystically absorb some of her thoughts through proximity.

Another example is Alison Tyler. I’ve been worshipping her brain since I found her a few years back in Bedding Down with “It’s Not the Weather.” Nothing she writes disappoints—she’ll usually leave you stunned, stupefied, delighted, and wanting more. Then you add to Ms. Tyler’s phenomenal writing magic that she happens to be one of the nicest people on the planet, and maybe you can understand why I classify her as a brain-lick recipient. (Bonus: she’ll be hitting my blog next week for her Never Say Never blog tour. But put your tongue back in your mouth—I get her brain first.)

I have other brain-lick loves, but this post could go on for a while and I might sound a little crazier than I already do. Instead, I’m going to turn the question around on you—what’s your ultimate compliment for brilliance? Is it, “You’re fucking brilliant,” “You’re my idol,” “I want to capture your essence in a bottle,” or something else?

And more importantly, who is the recipient of your adoration, affection, and brain worshipping?

XX,
Jade