Cover of Delta of Venus by Anais Nin

You Always Remember Your First

Okay, no holds barred: I have a lot of firsts to share today.

For example, the first time I experienced anything akin to being turned on was watching Pepé Le Pew in Looney Tunes. No, really. I loved the French skunk. I loved the way he chased that pretty cat around and smothered her in affection. I particularly loved the way he held her and talked romantically into her ear, and how she swatted him away. For me, it was the chase—and while I imitated his lines because I liked the accent, I actually imagined some French person chasing me with affection and adoration one day. (Note: I have yet to date anyone French.)

My first kiss happened when I was seven. It was a dare. I’d had a crush on Michael for a whole year. He had this hair that looked like a Ken doll’s—it was short, blond, and wavy, but it somehow stayed close to his head (seven-year-olds don’t wear hairspray, right?). He always played football at lunch, so one day I stormed out and lectured him because he dropped the football. Yes. A seven-year-old, scolding another seven-year-old for dropping a football. Then, as he stared at me dumbfounded, I planted one on him. (Okay…maybe a little too much Pepé Le Pew viewing for me.)

My first “real” sexual experience happened under the murky sky of a light rain. I met a boy three years older than me and he walked me under a tree, where he cradled me in his lap and woke parts of me I didn’t realize existed. That experience was transformative—and lovely, to say the least.

The first time I had sex was with a different boy who also happened to be three years older. We wrote each other poetry and fantasized about living in other centuries together. Our relationship didn’t last long, but we did end up having one nostalgic fling almost four years later—when we drank wine, made love, and embraced while reading poetry to one another, all night long.

These are all some of my favorite firsts, but as open about these as I am, they’re not the firsts I meant to talk about.

You see, I wanted to talk about another first—the first erotica I ever read, because I will always, always remember it.Delta of Venus cover

I read about sexual things at quite a young age—I’d devoured several V.C. Andrews and Christopher Pike novels by nine, for goodness sake—but in my early teens, I stumbled upon something on my mother’s bookcase: Delta of Venus by Anaïs Nin.

Now, I confess, I already knew what sex was, but I’d never truly read it. And while the contents of those pages mesmerized and delighted me, and I worship the great Anaïs Nin to this day, it didn’t occur to me that reading those pages could be a source of sexual excitement. I read them analytically, enthralled to discover that one could weave sexual words and scenes so eloquently—and yet I didn’t completely understand that it might “turn me on.” Maybe it did and I just didn’t pick up on it. Who knows. But it did make me want to read more.

So somewhere around there, I signed up for a book club. I could order as many books as I wanted (as long as I could afford them), and I thought this was the coolest thing since peanut butter. Soon, I grew bold. Right under my parents’ noses, I ordered The Best American Erotica 1993 and concealed the book under my bed. Night after night, I read the stories within—and while Anaïs Nin had opened my eyes, these stories rocked me. They made me hot. They made me whisper things to my boyfriends about the naughty things I was reading, and how we should try this, and that, and did you know you could do that?

Best American Erotica 1993 cover

Now, this is a very old collection, but there are two stories that I’ve never, ever forgotten—even two decades later. One was “Rubenesque” by Magenta Michaels, and the other “Five Dimes” by Anita ‘Melissa’ Mashman. “Rubenesque” showed me body love, exhibitionism, and anonymous sex, while “Five Dimes” showed me lovers having fun and exploring. In fact, I may well have talked a boyfriend into playing “Five Dimes” with me. (You’ll have to read the story to understand what that means, but I assure you, it’s hot.)

So yes, technically, my first was Anaïs Nin. But the first I really remember, the first that got my pulse racing, my cheeks pink, and my body covered in goose bumps—that first happened with The Best American Erotica 1993. 

I haven’t stopped reading erotica since.

Now, as for the other firsts—they’re delightful memories, too…which brings me to you.

Do you know what I’d love to hear? YOUR firsts. First kiss, first turn-on, first sex, first sexy read—you pick. Maybe if I’m really lucky, this space will serve as your very first confession! 😉

Can’t wait to hear…

XX,
Jade

P.S. The results of Alison Tyler’s Smut Marathon Round 2 are up—check them out here! (I survived! Hurray!)

 

Cover of Holiday Spice

One Sexy Stocking Stuffer—Holiday Spice is Out!

Hurray!

Just in time for you to kick your Christmas shopping in gear, I’m delighted to share that Holiday Spice, from Foreword Literary’s imprint, Fast Foreword, is now out and available on Amazon right here!

What’s more, Fast Foreword is offering you a very sexy Christmas deal—the entire anthology is only 99 cents if you buy it in November! That’s right, less than one buck for this delicious holiday romance anthology with a scorching hot heat level. And since it’s about to get cold outside, it’s the perfect time to grab a collection of Christmas naughtiness to share with your special someone for extra holiday warmth. *Wink wink.* *Nudge nudge.*

The anthology will be up at other e-retailers in the near future, but you’ll want to act quickly as the price goes up to $2.99 in December. I’d call that a sweet deal for you early bird shoppers. 😉

Holiday Spice includes stories by such authors as Philippa Ballantine, Peggy Barnett, and Laura Kreitzer, and—I’m excited to say—little ole me! The excerpt for “Office Santa” is below, and if you’d like to check out a full list of authors in the book you can do so right here. You can also add it to your Goodreads list here.

I already got my copy, and I can tell you this book is decked with holiday goodness. I hope you’ll enjoy it, too.

Happy almost holidays, everyone!

XX,
Jade

Excerpt from “Office Santa”:

Me and Office Santa—we go way back.

See, after seven years of organizing our annual holiday party, I’ve learned I have a real affinity for a gentleman in a Santa costume—which is saying a lot, since I love a man in a suit and tie, and the male partners around here look so delicious in their business wear it’s a miracle we don’t have a major sexual harassment problem. But Christ, put one of them in a fuzzy red suit with a squishy belly, a big black belt, matching boots, and that goddamn aphrodisiac of a hat, and I lose all semblance of self-control.

Part of the appeal is the man who dons the suit, of course. Last year, for example, it was David. He’s one of the busiest partners, so watching him slow down to have a glass of wine with the rest of us—appreciating the season and wearing that fantastic red costume—actually made him approachable. I mean, he was always that way with me, but no one ever saw that. Ours was an affair composed of exactly three entanglements: the first on the break room table after the rest of the company had gone home, the second when I picked him up from the airport after a conference since the driver I’d arranged had neglected to show, and the third the time I took him home from the holiday party. He’d spent the night tumbling around my apartment—he was a little awkward with the suit dangling around his thighs because I wouldn’t let him take it off. In return, I kept the sexy Mrs. Claus dress on and let him rip a hole in the crotch of my fishnets so he could get his hands on me. There’s something to be said for a man wearing a Santa hat while under your skirt, shoving his tongue way up inside until you come to visions of sugarplums and all that, so it was a win-win for us both…

***

Don’t forget to grab your copy of Holiday Spice before the deal ends!

Cover of Holiday Spice

Cover of The Big Book of Orgasms

The Big Book of Orgasms Reading and Signing—Wednesday!

That’s right—this Wednesday, 11/6/13!

I am so excited to be reading alongside nine other contributors: Lily K. Cho, Malin James, Crystal Jordan, Donna George Storey, B.D. Swain, Virgie Tovar, Xan West, and of course, editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. I’ve read all of their stories since I received my copy of The Big Book of Orgasms: 69 Sexy Stories, and I can promise that you’re in for a treat. 😉

So, if you’re in the SF Bay Area, I sure hope you can join us and say hello. The reading is hosted by the Good Vibrations on Polk (1620 Polk Street) and starts at 6:30. We’ll be signing, too, so bring your copy! Oh, and did I mention it’s free?

For more information, be sure to check out the Facebook event page or the Good Vibrations event page. Want to know more about the book? Find out more here.

Can’t wait to see you there!

XX,
Jade

Picture of panties around red shoes

It Starts With a Kiss

Welcome…to a world of naughty words and play.Picture of panties around red high heels

Kick off your shoes,
Climb under the covers,
And get comfortable.
It all starts with a kiss—

XX,
Jade