The Pillow Talk...Erotica Writers Talking Dirty logo: black and white image of a cartoon woman with bright red lips on a pillow

Pillow Talk Secrets: Blowing Kisses to 2014 and Celebrating 2015!

Happy New Year, everyone!

Well, we’re on the second day of 2015, and to celebrate, Pillow Talk has a special New Year’s Secrets for you! Today, Malin James, Tamsin Flowers and I recap the year that was and usher in the excitement of the next one. Tamsin is our host this time around, and she’s thrown us some fun questions about our experiences as erotica writers, memorable writing moments, and other sexiness we’ve found in the industry. As usual, I’ve posted a bit of the session here with a link to continue, or you can hop on over to our site to read Secrets in its entirety.

Thanks so much for joining us—2014 was a great year, and we can’t wait to share more secrets with you in 2015!

XX,
Jade

The Pillow Talk...Erotica Writers Talking Dirty logo: black and white image of a cartoon woman with bright red lips on a pillow

Pillow Talk Secrets

Tamsin: Hello ladies. How are you both doing today?

Malin: So good! How are you Tamsin? Jade?

Jade: Great! So nice to be here with you both.

2015T: It certainly is good to meet for the first time in 2015 – Happy New Year to you both and to all our readers!

J: Yes, Happy New Year! *Blows party whistles* *Throws confetti*

M: I love the New Year – it always feels good to start fresh. *removes confetti from hair* 😉

T: It is great to have a fresh start. Now, let’s get going on today’s business – our look back over 2014 and our look forward over 2015. I’ve got a few questions to put to you two – starting with what was the most surprising thing writing erotica taught you about yourselves last year?

M: Oh boy.. Well, I think the  biggest thing it taught me was that I’m far more comfortable with myself sexually now than I’ve ever been. I don’t seem to have the hang-ups that plagued me as a younger, non-erotica writing woman.

J: It certainly does have that effect, doesn’t it? Something about writing erotic things adds to one’s erotic nature, I think.

T: I agree. And on a similar note, the more erotica I write the more comfortable I am with the fact that I’m an erotica writer. At first I didn’t want anyone to know – but now I take the opportunity to tell more people and most of them receive it very well.

J: I just love that feeling! I find the reception being positive is true, too.

M: Yes! It’s kind of funny to realize how much apprehension you can have about writing erotica when you first start playing with it. It’s nice to let that go as you develop as a writer.

J: I wrote about that acceptance of myself as an erotica writer back at the end of 2013 – and this year, having been one with it and really truly loving it, I would say the most surprising thing I learned is what a damn work horse I can be. I mean, I know I go at it sometimes, but I’ve had to pull back from working myself to exhaustion a few times. That was a shocker. I’m sure you both can relate to that, too.

T: Absolutely – that was one of my answers – I’ve surprised myself with my sheer doggedness when it comes to getting stuff done!

M: I never would have called myself a workaholic until this past year, but I’ve been surprised, like both of you, by how much it’s actually true. I guess loving your work brings that out!

J: Yes. But one of the things that’s helped is that you both have been around to “talk me down” when I’m taxing myself. I think that’s one of the greatest things we’ve done for one another (besides all the “talking up,” of course).

M: Yeah – that support really has been critical. It’s easy to push too hard, or get too low. Having two partners/friends who can offer that bit of perspective is just invaluable.

T: It is a wonderful thing, and I wouldn’t be without you two! Now, what’s the most interesting or surprising thing you’ve learned about the industry over the course of 2014?

M: For me it was a fairly general realization. I was surprised by how unstable the market has gotten recently, and yet, within that, how many other options writers have. That and how unfailingly supportive other writers are.

T: That was totally going to be my answer – just how fantastic the erotica community is. We might supposedly be competing against each other but every writer I come across is generous with their support.

J: Yes. It’s a tight-knit group – probably the most lovable and delightful group of all the writer groups I’ve worked with. Considering how much flak the genre can get, it’s wonderful to have that support.

T: If we don’t help each other, who will?

J: Right!

T: Now, turning to what we’ve all been writing, tell me each of you, what was your hottest sex scene of the year?

Click here to read more!

Picture of firework spark

At the Year’s End

Picture of firework spark

Happy New Year’s!

I wasn’t going to write this post.

I’d settled in my head last week that I would not do the end-of-year recap, especially since my lovely Pillow Talk cohorts and I have a New Year’s edition coming to you in just a couple days (and we do so hope you enjoy it).

But here’s the thing—writing is not optional. It’s not an act we choose; more often than not, it’s a thing we must do. It’s in our heads, in our hearts, and in our veins. It fuels us, guides us, makes us. Sometimes, it takes us in a sweet embrace, stroking the sides of our faces as it whispers, “It’s time to write, love.”

So here I am.

A year ago, I had only recently launched this site with the release of The Big Book of Orgasms and the reading that followed. I had no idea what the year would bring, but I was excited to find out. And you know what? It’s been a seriously fantastic year. Sure, there were some major real-life hurdles for me—I went through a break-up, threatened to quit my job, experienced the worst bout of insomnia in my life, had a couple car breakdowns and multiple rounds of very sick kitties. I also got so overworked I had to force myself to learn to relax (still working on that).

Despite all this, one thing held true: I was thrilled to be writing erotica and thriving in the world that comes with it. The list of experiences that brought smiles to my face goes on forever, but there were some definite highlights. I finished writing a book. I wrote a bounty of short stories. I signed with an agent. I furthered my love of live readings while helping out on an awesome book tour. I swapped my site over to a self-hosted one and started a poetry page, then tried some audio, too. I almost finished writing another book. I met and got to know amazing people, through Twitter, Facebook, real-life readings, events, and experiences. I discovered tons of new writers that blew my mind, and cherished old ones that kept me reading well past my bed time (and others, before I crawled out of bed in the morning). I found brilliant and wonderful sisters and colleagues in my Pillow Talk pals. And—over and over again—I found myself incredibly content when I was writing.

So I guess I’d say I’m in the same place as last year, but now it’s better. I’m still excited, but this time around I’m even more certain—yes, this thing is in me. It’s the very thump of a beating heart that keeps me happy, dreaming, and continuing on.

As for 2015 goals? I’m keeping it simple: WRITE. (Okay, and maybe take a day off here and there.) 🙂

Wherever you are now, and whatever your goals, I wish you all the best in 2015.

Thanks for joining me!

XX,
Jade

Christmas decorations

Happy Holidays…

 May your holidays be filled with love, sexiness, and endless delights.

Wishing you and yours all the best.

XX,
Jade

Picture of panties around red shoes

Elust#65: The Hottest Sex on the Net!

sassycatheader
Photo courtesy of SassyCat

Welcome to Elust #65

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #66? Start with the rules, come back January 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

For our UK readers, we would like to make a special request that you take a moment and fill out this petition to repeal the new censorship laws.

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

“Does this look sexual to you?”
Submission Can Be Hard
You can have a secret sex blog and be ethical

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

On Writing and Self Doubt

Online porn: the canary in the coalmine

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

The Pendulum: Why Americans Should Care that British Porn is Fucked

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

 

Erotic Fiction

Blades
Dark Desires
This Is How You Use Her
“Office Santa”—A Free Story for the Holidays!
Feral
Justin’s Rope
Santa Sutra & the Rebellious Rein-Girl
Dirty
I Want You, My Way
Caught In The Act
The Smile

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Feminist Rape
The Sex I Like
Erased
Post-Revolution Kink: What kinds of kink?
Why MakeLoveNotPorn Has It Wrong

Blogging

I Do It My Way

Erotic Non-Fiction

Slave Olive’s Ongoing Chastity Experience
Coast to Coast Traveling Panties.
My Headshaving – During
Tell me…..(want versus need)
flip fucking a punk boy but good

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

To Avoid Street Harassment, Dress Slutty!
Touch
“You’re not a Domme, you’re a hooker”
We Don’t Do That: On Vulnerability
He suspects something’s up…
Aust Sex Survey: Triumph, Trouble & Tragedy
Erections, Erections, Erections
Am I queer enough for you?

Poetry

Quandary – A Lusty Limerick
Used

Writing About Writing

A Sticky Vocabulary Situation

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Tickling, consent violations, and violence
Sniffy
A Few Things I Wish I’d Known About Sex, Dati

 

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Cover for Among the Stars

Coming Together: Among the Stars—”The Joy Ride” Excerpt

Hurray! Coming Together: Among the Stars is officially out today!

I’m so thrilled “The Joy Ride” is a part of this anthology, both because I love a good venture into spec fic AND because this hot little collection is for a good cause—all proceeds benefit the International Still’s Disease Foundation. Fantastic!

Cover for Among the Stars

In honor of release day, I thought I’d share some backstory as well as an excerpt. Let’s start with the backstory—“The Joy Ride” is a particularly special piece for me. The original version was actually one I wrote while I was in the process of deciding to do this erotica thing for real. Sure, I’d penned a piece here and there, but it wasn’t clear to me—yet—that erotica was what really spoke to me.

So there it was 2012, and I’d ended up at a Fantasy and Sci-Fi writing conference where, during the course of the weekend, we were supposed to write a flash story inspired by the line, “On Thursday, she pressed the button.” I opted to write a story about a woman fed up with her ex-husband and job, who then spotted a button in her hotel room labeled Press for a good time. And when the woman pressed the button, two hot alien creatures arrived and took her away on their space ship. The story was sassy and silly, but somewhere in the course of it all, one of the aliens mentioned that usually only men press the button.

My critique group got a big kick out of this line, since I’d already written a rather titillating piece about a stripper werewolf. Someone asked about the lives of the aliens, and the next thing I knew, I was on the airplane flying home, drafting an early version of “The Joy Ride”—this time told from the alien captain’s point of view and, unbeknownst to me, lighting the first spark in my head toward taking my erotica writing more seriously.

Two years later, the wonderful Lynn Townsend had a call for Coming Together: Among the Stars. I dusted off the old story, changed a few [major] things, and poof! There it was: the little story that first kicked my naughty brain into full gear, revised and ready to jump aboard this fabulous charity anthology!

So, enough of the behind-the-scenes stuff. I’d say it’s time for an excerpt, wouldn’t you? “The Joy Ride” follows Captain Ronat and Co-Captain Loul, two alien creatures who have been orbiting the Earth as part of a 30-year penalty for galaxy back taxes, until one day they pick up an Earthling couple.

Excerpt:

The man cowered as Ronat walked to him. Ronat didn’t touch him, but he did lay his hand on the grey surface behind Bill’s head. The solid panel evaporated into one huge window, giving the man a close-up view of the Galaxy.

“What the fuck?”

“It’s exactly what you think it is.”

“But…we were just…how is this…?” Bill put his hands on the window and stuck his forehead so close against it his breath fogged the glass. The light of distant planets twinkled and blinked, brightening his face until his sharp frown began to dissolve. “Is it really…?”

Ronat nodded. “It is, my friend. Welcome to the Galaxy.”

Bill kept his palms on the window, mesmerized by the view. When Ronat placed his hand on Bill’s shoulder, he didn’t pull away. Instead, he met Ronat’s eyes with a flash of longing in his own. It didn’t hurt that the chemistry between humans and his kind created a state of heightened arousal for both parties, which is why the Earth leaders had allowed them to occupy the Galaxy in exchange for hotel service so long ago.

“I feel like I should tell you to take your hand off me, but it’s strange…I don’t want to,” Bill said.

“It’s okay. It’s natural between our kinds.”

He gulped. “What is your kind?”

“We’re from Tetro, part of an ancient race in the Galaxy.”

Bill drew his hand from the window. “Why are you here?”

“Long story,” Ronat said. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You don’t need to. All you need to know is that you’re here, in flight, and anything you want can be yours.”

Bill stared.

“Anything,” he repeated.

Bill raked his gaze over Ronat’s scaly flesh and crisscrossing straps, then down his silver pants. He seemed most captivated by his moon boots, and while he focused on them, Ronat moved closer. He could smell Bill’s sweat under his button-up shirt, a residual pungency of long hours at the office mixed with the essence of Earthling arousal.

“I don’t know that I’m into that,” Bill said. “I’m married.”

As if on cue, Andrea let out a moan that lasted for a solid minute.

Bill whispered, “Can I see her?”

“Sure. But you have to know that she’s in the middle of—”

“I want to see her. I want to see it.”

Well, well, well.

Ronat ran his pinky on the wall in the shape of a hexagon, then tapped three times. The eye scan appeared and he lined his retina up with the infrared beam, blinking fast so that his third lid retracted before the scan ray hit. A click sounded and the wall vanished, opening the hull of the ship to the room where Loul and Andrea fucked like Earth dogs.

Bill exhaled heavily. His wife was oblivious to his presence, but Loul glanced over. Naked and glistening, he pummeled Andrea from behind, bringing groans of pleasure from her throat as she clawed backward to reach his dark, scaled ass.

“Oh my gawd!” she cried. “Oh…my…gawwwwddddd.”

“Oh my,” Bill muttered. His eyes widened as he watched her, her tits bouncing all over the place. The smell of Andrea’s juices permeated the air and wafted into Ronat’s nose, sending a tingle through his body.

He crept behind Bill. “What do you think?”

Andrea answered for him “Yes, yes! Give it to me!”

Loul weaved his hands in Andrea’s tousled red hair, then angled back enough so both Ronat and Bill could see the flexing of his abs as he glided repeatedly inside her.

Bill gasped.

“It’s hot, isn’t it?” Ronat grasped Bill’s shoulders, massaging them while the man’s breath grew more ragged. His own cock lurched at the sight, making his silver pants incredibly uncomfortable. “Do you want to join?”

“I can’t. She’s obviously—”

“Oh, she wants it, Bill. Look at her.” Ronat leaned into his ear, his lips lightly grazing the man’s lobe. “Your wife is an animal.” When Bill didn’t speak, he shouted across the room. “Hey Loul! Can we join?”

Loul paused mid-thrust and Andrea tossed up her head, her face glistening with the sweat of wild sex. She registered the view of her husband for a second, her eyes spreading in surprise.

“Bill! Oh no, I didn’t know that you… I’m so sor—”

Loul drove himself all the way into her and she belted another cry. “Don’t you dare be sorry,” he said, pumping her a few times into incoherence. “You both came here for a good time!”

Bill’s face softened. There really was no way for this to go poorly. The only question was how Bill would insert himself into the scene.

With his next words, he made Ronat a proud accomplice.

“Don’t be sorry, sweetheart,” Bill said. “You are so hot right now. Can we join in?”

Loul threw back his head, gripping the sides of Andrea’s waist for one final shove inside her. “Fuck, yes!”

When Andrea wailed in pleasure, Bill stripped off his clothes in less than thirty seconds, piling his slacks, tie, button-up shirt, boxers and undershirt on the floor. Then, wearing nothing but his socks and a cock at full mast, he peered between Ronat and his spasming wife.

“Are you coming, too?” he said.

*

I hope you enjoyed the excerpt!

“The Joy Ride” is part of Coming Together: Among the Stars, edited by Lynn Townsend, and with so many other fabulous erotic sci-fi authors included in this one, I’m sure it’s going to be a treat.

Please pick up your copy on Amazon—every book purchased helps support the International Still’s Disease Foundation!

Thank you for reading and supporting the cause!

XX,
Jade

Cover of Kristina Wright's Best Erotic Romance 2015

“Fertile” Is at Tamsin’s Superotica Today!

That’s right, everyone! Today I’ve jumped over to Tamsin’s Superotica with an exclusive excerpt from my upcoming story in Best Erotic Romance 2015, “Fertile.”

Cover of Kristina Wright's Best Erotic Romance 2015

This year’s edition includes “Fertile”!

Best Erotic Romance 2015 is set to release on Kindle on December 22nd, and on paperback a bit after that—but you can pre-order the anthology right now on Amazon. I’m tickled to be sharing pages with both of my Pillow Talk cohorts in this anthology edited by the lovely Kristina Wright, and today I’m extra thrilled that Tamsin has asked to feature a snippet of my story on her hot Christmas advent calendar!

So, please head on over to Tamsin’s place right now. I hope you enjoy the excerpt of “Fertile” you’ll find there, as well as all the other sexy pieces she’s featuring in her Christmas countdown. It’s seriously smokin’ this year, and I’m so happy to have been a part.

Happy holidays!

XX,
Jade

B/W image of woman cuddling close in man's lap

Because of the Way He Held Me

Many of you know I write poetry, and usually, it’s quite erotic—whether it be romantic and erotic or downright dirty and erotic.

Today, I’ve got a new poem for you—but it’s not as erotic as I normally write. It’s getting back to my poetry roots, somewhat: a little darker, a little deeper, and in many ways, a little more raw. There was a time all the poetry I wrote was based on something that happened to me, or a relationship I had; this piece definitely flows in the same vein.

I hope you enjoy it.

B/W image of woman cuddling close in man's lap

BECAUSE OF THE WAY HE HELD ME

by

Jade A. Waters

Two silhouettes in a room
Filled with smoke, voices loud
He came to me, cornered me
Whispered, “Won’t you come with me?”
His arm twining round my waist, pulling me close
And I did, knowing for certain
It would be because of the way he held me.

Our dance began—magnificent, tremendous,
Two rushing rivers of lust,
Two colliding powers of desperate force.
When he stared into my eyes, I saw everything—
The world, the stars, the secrets to our souls.
It was all wrong
It was so right
But it was because of the way he held me.

Together, we moved
Hips joined, breaths one
A fire so deep the earth trembled, rolled, split open
A tsunami of sensation crashing over him, over me
Over us.
We were the tide, controlling rivers, lakes, and oceans,
We were the universe
All because of the way he held me.

In the dark of the night, we lingered close
His words more whispers, his fingers tracing swirls
Over the tender spread of my hips—
“Because you’re mine,” he’d say.
And I would cave, succumb
And feel
Making wrong a broken word I didn’t understand
Because this was right
And all because of the way he held me.

Now, the wash of memory sweeps across a distant shore
But his hands are still on me, his lips still near
The brand of a lifetime
So deep in these pores.
And I know it will be this way,
A long, long while
Because of the way he held me.

*

Thank you for joining me for this one.

XX,
Jade

Sexy topless man in a Santa hat

“Office Santa” — A Free Story for the Holidays!

Happy December!

The holiday season is upon us, and there’s nothing I love more than all the cheer and festivity that comes with it. On top of that, I’m a big giver—which is why I’m delighted to share a free story with you for the Christmas season!

Last year, I wrote “Office Santa” about Kristi, a particularly sassy executive administrative assistant who happens to love nothing more than a sexy man in a Santa suit. The story was published in an anthology that sadly had a very short shelf life, but I’ve decided that—since it’s the holidays and all—I would love to share it with you right now.

For free!

This story is by no means short, and it’s damn sassy and filthy. Perfect for the holidays, if you ask me!

So, please get your Christmas spirits ready and sneak under the mistletoe with me. I hope you enjoy “Office Santa.”

Happy Holidays!

XX,
Jade

Picture of silver ballsOFFICE SANTA

by

Jade A. Waters

Me and Office Santa—we go way back.

See, after seven years of organizing our annual holiday party, I’ve learned I have a real affinity for a gentleman in a Santa costume—which is saying a lot, since I love a man in a suit and tie, and the male partners around here look so delicious in their business wear it’s a miracle we don’t have a major sexual harassment problem. But Christ, put one of them in a fuzzy red suit with a squishy belly, a big black belt, matching boots, and that goddamn aphrodisiac of a hat, and I lose all semblance of self-control.

Part of the appeal is the man who dons the suit, of course. Last year, for example, it was David. He’s one of the busiest partners, so watching him slow down to have a glass of wine with the rest of us—appreciating the season and wearing that fantastic red costume—actually made him approachable. I mean, he was always that way with me, but no one ever saw that. Ours was an affair composed of exactly three entanglements: the first on the break room table after the rest of the company had gone home, the second when I picked him up from the airport after a conference since the driver I’d arranged had neglected to show, and the third the time I took him home from the holiday party. He’d spent the night tumbling around my apartment—he was a little awkward with the suit dangling around his thighs because I wouldn’t let him take it off. In return, I kept the sexy Mrs. Claus dress on and let him rip a hole in the crotch of my fishnets so he could get his hands on me. There’s something to be said for a man wearing a Santa hat while under your skirt, shoving his tongue way up inside until you come to visions of sugarplums and all that, so it was a win-win for us both.

For the five years before David, Nelson and Associates had encouraged Michael to wear the suit. Everybody loved Michael—he was charismatic and handsome, and took interest in the lives of our office staff and clients. He also bought presents for all of us executive admins because he understood how hard we worked. He made a point of bringing me an extra special set of gifts when he arrived on my doorstep after the holiday party every year—a bottle of champagne, a box of chocolates, a pair of earrings, and then him in that delicious Santa suit. I told him he could skip the earrings, but he had a thing for putting them in my earlobes for me. He’d trail his fingers along every curve in my ear, then ask me to strip down to my boots and nothing else. I won’t lie—that part always made me hot. Then he’d ask me to suck on pieces of chocolate when he bent me over a chair and fucked me while singing Christmas carols.

The guy was a real freak behind closed doors, and that’s why we had so much fun together during our annual rendezvous. We probably would have done it more often, but a girl can only eat so much chocolate—plus he ended up taking a job at our satellite firm in India.

This year, we at Nelson had some trouble convincing anyone to wear the suit. The role had traditionally gone to one of the partners, and thanks to my hard work arranging schedules, conferences, and international travel, I’d left us with exactly two to choose from come holiday time: Gregory and Nick. Neither of them knew about my Santa habit—in fact, no one in the office did except the lucky few to have donned the suit—but it’s not like I could use that as a bargaining chip anyway. That would be inappropriate.

Gregory was married, so he would have made a terrible candidate. Nick, then, became my sole desire. He had the right name, he was in town for the party, and on top of that, he had an ass I’d been ogling since he joined the firm six months earlier. I could picture it beneath the red seat of the infamous Santa costume, rounding as he’d drive his way inside of me, and I knew I had to get him on my Christmas list.

My job as the lead executive administrative assistant meant I was a busy girl, and organizing the holiday party made everything more complicated this time of year. So while I’d wanted to put on the charm and be the reason Nick chose the suit, I knew better. I’d stuck Shirley on it, with her big blue eyes and amazing tits, because Nick would never say no to a girl like that sweet-talking him into the role.

Please do not misunderstand—Nick was no misogynist. He was, by far, the most respectable, refined, and appreciated partner who had ever worked in our firm. He exceeded Michael’s reputation for charm but struck most of us as a bit more introverted, and his was not the nature to grotesquely harass a pretty subordinate. It’s just that Shirley had a rack even I fantasized about sometimes, and with those doe eyes and melodic voice working for her, it was difficult to resist anything she asked. Plus she was new to the job and ever so polite, and most of us wanted to see her do well.

Besides—sure enough, my plan worked. He’d said yes, she’d felt accomplished, and now I was all set to reap the rewards: Nick and his hot ass in the Santa suit.

I swear to god thinking about it made it impossible to work the week leading up the party. I’d stashed an extra pair of panties in my desk drawer because sometimes I worried I’d soak right through my dress clothes—especially yesterday, when I literally ran into Nick in the break room, both of us careening around the entryway from opposite sides and colliding with one another. I had only a second to appreciate his broad chest smacking against mine, and next there came the realization that my papers were scattered across the floor.

“Oh crap, Kristi—I’m so sorry!” he’d said. We’d looked at one another startled for a minute, me getting somewhat lost in his green eyes as I imagined how they’d pair with his Santa costume in pure Christmas color perfection, and once he flushed in embarrassment at running into me he’d bent over to start picking up my papers.

I’d crouched down beside him, my skirt creeping up on my thighs and catching his gaze. He idled on them long enough that my breath caught in my throat, but then we both set back to work gathering the papers I’d spent the last fifteen minutes organizing.

“Let me know what I can do to help with these. Are they alphabetized? Numerical? God, I’m so sorry!” he repeated. He awkwardly handed the papers over as we both stood back up, but I patted his arm.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “Accidents happen. Plus, I can forgive you because you’re playing Santa tomorrow night.” I winked, but it was true. Handsome, polite future-Santas went a long way with me.

Nick snickered. “That I am.”

“Are you ready for your role?”

“Sure. Aren’t I just wearing a suit?”

“Well, you’re Santa. That’s a big deal.”

“Is it? I guess the pressure’s on, huh?” He appeared somewhat ruffled, his ordinarily cool demeanor disturbed by our run-in. I, meanwhile, felt the familiar tingle in my limbs every time I talked to him. Besides being the most attractive man to have worked for the company, he was the nicest. His clients continually raved about him, and I never minded writing his expense reports because he submitted the most detailed, organized receipts and took the time to talk to me instead of dumping them on my desk.

I drew my hands to my hips and nodded very seriously. “You’re the Santa at a holiday party—yes, the pressure’s on! I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that I appreciate a good Santa.”

“Do you?”

Nick peered down at me, and I wondered if he could hear the thumping of my heart. His lips turned up at the corners and I could picture them surrounded by a white beard that I’d tug down before kissing him. In truth, I would have kissed him with or without the costume, which made him playing Santa the best Christmas gift I could ever ask for.

I grinned. “I really do.”

“In that case…I’m looking forward to the party.” He ran his fingers through his dark hair and I shifted my thighs to ease the moisture slicking up between them. It didn’t help that he followed with, “I hear you do an amazing job organizing this thing.”

“Aww. Thanks.”

We stood there for a minute more, silent. Then I remembered I’d scheduled his conference call in five minutes.

“Oh, you better run for your call with TechVibe. Can’t wait to see you as Santa!” I said.

Nick smiled, and I could tell he was curious with the way I’d said the words—a little bit breathy, and a lot flirtatious.

But he was going to play Santa, after all.

That’s about the only thing I could think about for the next day, which was a real pain with the list of tasks I had to accomplish before we closed down early that Friday for the party. Somehow, I made do, getting a two hour head start on everyone else to finish decorating the local community center. I’d rented it out the last few years to much fanfare, since we all seemed to prefer to celebrate the holiday away from the office. The space afforded a kitchen for the caterers plus a couple expansive rooms, and I typically designated one for the bar and the majority of the food, one for the hired piano player and the late-night raffle, and the other one for general socialization. That’s where I planted Santa—away from the big time revelers so I could keep my eye on him, but near enough to still be part of the fun.

The staff at the community center had kindly allowed me to swap out their Christmas tree star with one we’d designed for Nelson the year before—it was a blue neon monstrosity with the letter ‘N’ on it, for spirit—and I propped it up there with my annual sigh of appreciation that the Nelson staff didn’t mind a more Christmas-oriented party. We’d done a Hanukkah thing four years prior and then took a survey to be P.C. about it, and it turned out most everyone preferred the Christmas theme. Everyone except Margaret, that is, but she’d admitted to me she hated holidays in general, so when I started offering her a box of shortbread cookies as the season kicked off every year, she’d told me she was satisfied with a great big hug.

I finished teetering on the ladder in my heeled boots as my colleagues began to arrive. I was fully costumed already, wearing my flouncy plush red Mrs. Claus dress that I’d cinched in at the waist with a belt identical to that of the Santa suit. I’d also replaced the black fishnets David ripped last year with a pair of bright red ones. The whole get-up was a tad risqué for a work event, but no one ever complained—especially not the Santas.

“Oh Kristi, this place looks fantastic!” Shirley squealed. She and a handful of others had joined the company since last Christmas, and the group of them peered around in wonderment at all the classy decorations sparkling in greens, reds, silvers, and golds that complemented the pianist’s sophisticated renditions of Christmas carols.

She gave me a hug, then looked me over. “You look amazing. You’re the sassiest Mrs. Claus I’ve ever seen!”

“Thanks, Shirley.” I couldn’t stop myself from admiring her chest—she’d arrived wearing the red angora sweater that made her breasts stand out more than normal, and once the drinks started flowing, the men were going to have a field day watching her. There were usually a few hookups at these events beyond my secret Santa one, but I figured Shirley was clever enough to avoid raising suspicion this early on in her tenure.

I pointed out the various rooms to her and the others who started pouring through the door, greeting each colleague with a hug and a raffle ticket before they dispersed. Everyone was here to have a good time, and since I worked with a group of people who actually enjoyed one another’s company, this was bound to happen. I was eager to roam around and socialize myself, but a Mrs. Claus certainly can’t function without her mister.

It was that Mr. Claus that arrived about twenty minutes later, his tall, fit body hidden in the Santa costume and sending a chill down my spine.

“Nick Claus!” I said, reaching out to shake his hand. His entire palm engulfed my fingers and I grinned. “You look fantastic.”

And did he ever. The rugged lines of his face peeked out from behind the white beard, and when he raised his eyebrows they grazed the matching wig he’d braved beneath the Santa hat. His stuffed belly jutted out around his belt and he’d laced the boots up over the bottom of his pants like they were supposed to be worn, so they tapered neatly at his calves. I couldn’t wait to check him out from the rear, where I knew the white hem of his jacket would draw attention to the red fabric covering the exquisite shape of his ass.

“Good enough?” he asked. He pushed the curls of the wig away from his forehead and fondled the hat atop his head. That hat brought back so many memories, except tonight I wanted nothing more than to make new ones with him—Nick Claus, the real Claus. The best damn looking Santa Claus this office had ever seen.

“Oh yeah,” I muttered. He still hadn’t released my hand, and I’m not sure if it was the way I said the words—which is to say, completely breathless as I stared over him in that costume—or if he just happened to fully peer over me then, but Nick squeezed my fingers rather abruptly before kissing the back of my hand.

“You look delightful yourself, Mrs. Claus.” He kept my hand in his and twirled me around, then rested his free hand on his giant belly. “I hope saying so doesn’t overstep a bound…”

Nick had about a million bounds to overstep with me that evening, and I was ready. I scooted close to him, tilting my lips up toward his ear and lowering my voice so he’d have to lean to hear me over the pianist’s melody.

“I love a good Claus, Nick, so you can tell me whatever you wish tonight.”

His cheeks flushed the perfect red to match his costume, and I backed away lest anyone see us. Excitedly, I guided him to the main room and pointed out the lavish rocking chair designated for him.

“This is your room, and you’re obviously welcome to roam around,” I said, gesturing toward the other rooms. “But when it comes time for people to sit on Santa’s lap, you know where you need to be.”

Nick wrinkled his nose. “Shirley didn’t tell me about that. Neither did you.”

“I didn’t want to spoil the surprise, but don’t worry—it will work in your favor. Promise.”

I didn’t give him time to ask what I meant, instead running off to check on the caterers. It was awfully challenging to focus with him filling out that suit so damn well, and the wet spot in my thong wasn’t helping much, either.

After checking in on the food and the rest of the guests, I ordered a vodka cranberry from the bartender and began to circulate. The Nelson crew enjoyed themselves—everyone drinking and chatting, eating and laughing, and most everyone taking pictures with Nick in his delectable costume. I’d delegated raffle duties to Caroline this time, and she started it up fairly quickly while I doubled back to stand with Nick.

“How are you doing in that suit?”

“It’s pretty warm in here with all the stuffing.” He patted his belly. “But everyone seems happy so I’ll make do. You threw one hell of a party, Kristi. Nicely done.”

I held up my glass and he clanked his drink against mine. Then we stood together to watch the raffle, like Mr. and Mrs. Claus surveying the cheerful people around us. My knees grew weaker by the second, and I let my fantasy reel of Nick Claus play out while Caroline spoke into a microphone and handed presents out for the next twenty minutes. Once she’d distributed the last prize, some of the staff opted to go home. Most of them had spouses and family waiting there, which was fine since it left the rest of us to enjoy more of the bar services.

And of course, Santa’s lap time.

Nick could hardly stop laughing when I ushered him into his rocking chair and announced that the next thirty minutes were open for some “Santa Seat Time” in order for everyone to tell him what they wanted for Christmas. It was a novelty we’d started back when Michael held the role, and Nick played along like a good volunteer while I hung back with the other assistants.

“He looks absolutely ridiculous in that costume,” Betsy said. “He’s such a hunk normally, but throw him in a Santa suit and it ruins everything for me.”

A few of them bobbed their heads in agreement, and I pursed my lips to keep from protesting. They could think whatever they wanted—that man, in that costume, was sending trembles through my body that made me want to climb into his lap right then.

Elliott tapped my shoulder. “Hey Mrs. Claus, don’t you get to tell him what you want for Christmas, too? You arranged this party, after all.” He gave my fishnets a glance and snorted. “And for God’s sake you fit the part.”

I shrugged, though I longed to do exactly that. Instead, I watched Gregory finagle his way into Santa’s lap, making poor Nick mighty uncomfortable.

“Now that is funny,” Betsy said.

Sexy topless man in a Santa hat

“Every lady should get to tell Santa what she wants.”

The pianist began pounding out “Jingle Bells” and I squeezed my knees together, both because watching Nick costumed in the rocking chair was making it hard to stand, and because I remembered it being Michael’s favorite carol to sing when he fucked me.

Regardless, I knew the tune was toward the end of the pianist’s lineup since I’d checked his set list in advance, and I appreciated the nearing finale. There was no telling how late everyone would mingle once the music died down, but hopefully it wouldn’t be for too long.

I had a Santa to seduce.

Nick patted Gregory on the ass with a boisterous laugh when he left the rocking chair, a chummy gesture indicative of the right amount of alcohol loosening him up in his costume, and my urge to fuck him amplified so extensively that my nipples peaked beneath my dress. I wanted that Santa like I’d never wanted the two before him, and I knew the only way to get through the rest of the party was to channel all my focus into gabbing, frolicking, and flirting like my other tipsy colleagues until everyone went home for the weekend. At 10:30, the last few stragglers were gathering their prizes and hugging one another good night while I stood eyeing the Christmas tree, and Nick came up behind me.

“Ready for it to be over?” he asked.

He’d pulled the beard down around his chin, but I didn’t mind. He had the most beautiful face framed by all that fake white hair, and he still had the hat on properly. He took a step forward, the stuffing of his belly so protrusive he almost grazed it against me, and a shiver rippled through my body.

“Kind of, but I do enjoy seeing everyone have a good time.”

“Of course.” He smiled down at me, his eyes a little glossy from the booze and no doubt the warmth inside his costume, and I ached to scale every inch of his red-wrapped body there by the tree.

“It’s late though, and there’s some clean up…”

“Do you want some help?” He blurted it out so fast it was like he’d been waiting to say it. The last three guests at the door interrupted by shouting out my name. One of them was Shirley, who held the final food tray of many she’d generously toted to her car over the last thirty minutes. She glanced between Nick and me with a curious gaze, so I held up a finger to pause him and shimmied over to plant a kiss on her cheek.

“Thanks for your help, darling,” I said. “You’re a great addition to our company and I’m so glad we have you.”

She beamed, distracted enough by the compliment that her wonder was tempered. She waved goodbye and slipped out the door with the other two assistants, none of them taking any notice of Santa Claus staying behind with his missus.

Once I shut the door I turned around, rolling Nick’s offer around in my head. I’d paid extra to keep the key so that I could get a cleaning crew in here the next day, and though there were a few things to handle that Shirley hadn’t already done, I’d planned on leaving most of it till morning so I could figure out how to get Nick to myself.

“Sorry about that,” I said.

“No problem. You’re so good with everyone, and I admire all your work.”

I rested my hands on my hips, not sure what to say. My thoughts were wrapped up in how to get into his suit, so I bit my lip in contemplation.

“But about the help—do you need any? I feel like I owe you for scattering your papers everywhere yesterday.”

“Oh, shh,” I said. I waved him off and cocked my hip out to the side, and he eyed my legs while smoothing his hands over his stuffing-filled belly. “Besides, there’s not much to do tonight.”

“Okay.”

There was a hint of disappointment in his voice, which made it much easier to share my next thought.

“However, I didn’t get any Santa Seat Time.”

Nick chuckled, the motion jostling the padding of his belly. “Every lady should get to tell Santa what she wants,” he said.

He stuck out his hand and I took it, blissfully aware of the heat that rushed into my pussy at the prospect of telling him precisely what I wanted for Christmas. He led me to his rocking chair, and though no one was there to see us, I’m sure we looked a pair—Mr. and Mrs. Claus, walking hand in hand across the hardwood floor of the local community center.

Nick scooted back into the seat and patted his thigh, and it was a Christmas miracle I didn’t come right then.

I stood beside him while he steered his gaze from my face down to my boots.

“Well, well, well, young lady,” he said, in classic Santa fashion. I gave a brief curtsy, and Nick guided me onto his thigh. The soft felt of his costume was delightful on my ass through the holes of my fishnets, and I squirmed on purpose. Nick coughed, then said, “Kristi…er, Mrs. Claus…fancy seeing you here in my lap.”

I stared into his eyes. Against the red of the costume they shined the brightest green, and I was ready for him to show me naughty and nice. “Can I tell you what I want for Christmas, Santa?” I said, pursing my lips.

He shifted.

“Why yes, yes you can.” He curved his hand around my side, drawing me closer, and I took this as an excuse to sidle directly against his belly.

Nick gasped, since my thigh now rested against the hard-on he had hidden beneath those fuzzy red pants.

“Oh my Santa,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “It appears you might be after the same Christmas wish that I am.”

“Kristi—”

I placed a finger over his lips, then grabbed his hand. He’d skipped the costume gloves, but that was okay because they’d be in the way for what I did next—which was shove his hand up my skirt. “Are you okay with this?”

Nick grinned. He snuck his fingers against the crevice between my thighs. He stroked them down and back up, his fingers still hot through my fishnets and panties. I scooted as close as possible and moved my mouth near his.

“Are you?” he asked.

“I have a thing for the costume and I just put your hand under my skirt. Do you really need to ask?”

“You’re turned on by this suit?” He pressed his fingers harder against me, finding the swollen nub of my clit through the fabric and swiping at it a few times.

“Oh yes,” I panted.

We sat there for a moment, his fingers chafing me though the layers of fabric and my breath pouring raggedly against his face.

“Tell me more,” he said.

“Well,” I said, “I’ve been a very good girl, so I think I should get everything I want for Christmas.”

The words made his cock lurch against my thigh, so I slipped my hand under his jacket. Buried beneath that stuffing was the fly of his red pants, and I hooked my fingers on the button and tugged until it snapped open. Nick caressed me faster and I snuck my hand inside his briefs, taking him into my palm with a groan.

“You’re rock hard, Santa.”

Nick nodded. “And you’re damn wet, Kristi. What do you want for Christmas?”

I glided my hand along his length a few times, loving the way he squinted his eyes. It was like Santa having a jolly good laugh, even though his beard was out of place. Nick weaved his fingers through the holes of my tights and under the sides of my thong, and when he managed to get two of them inside me, I whimpered.

“You, Santa,” I growled. I stroked him more furiously and he did his best to shove his fingers deep despite the fabric in the way. I wrapped my free hand around his neck and pulled him close, and right before I kissed him, I said, “I want to fuck you, Claus.”

Nick’s cock throbbed against my hand and I slammed my lips against his. We were kissing—me and Nick, Office Santa and me—and our tongues tangled together as we clawed at one another’s sex. This Santa could kiss, and when he thrust against my hand I climbed up to straddle him. The motion sent the rocking chair swinging and both of us gave a startled shriek. We took a minute to balance ourselves before I rolled my hips against his crotch, feeling the thickness of his rod though the fabric that separated us.

“Here?” he asked between kisses. He didn’t wait for an answer, tugging down the neckline of my dress to expose my bra. He bit at my chest, pulling my breast free of the cup so he could take my nipple in his lips, and when he sucked on the tip I grinded against him until he moaned.

I took that as my cue, reaching down and ripping a hole in my fishnets—I’d already replaced them once, so what was one more time, anyway? Next I yanked my panties aside and Nick gasped.

I guided him against my cunt, skimming my wetness with his dick, and while I teased myself in this way I stretched my other hand to my boot to retrieve the condom I’d shoved inside earlier. Nick chuckled before I ripped it open and worked it down over his length, but his laughter became a heavy groan when I slid over him and took him deep.

“Oh Kristi!”

Nick Claus was inside me, and already I could feel my body shaking. I rocked against him, sending the chair swinging again, and both of us moaned. He crept his hands beneath my skirt and cupped my ass, his fingers digging the fishnets into my skin as he lifted me up and down. The motion of the rocking chair became a consistent swing that matched our stride. He felt so good I grabbed the bars of the chair so I could slam down over him, and when my free hand sank into the padding of his belly I moaned again.

“Nick, oh Claus…”

He kissed me, but it was messy and broken, both of us writhing against one another in a careful balance of fucking and rocking in that chair. Our breathing became frenzied, and he made grunts that no decent Santa would make as I rode him like the naughty Mrs. Claus I was. The fabric of his costume had slipped between us and grated against my clit in the most pleasant of ways, and as Nick yanked me against him, I felt the pleasure coming over me faster than a midnight sleigh ride around the world.

“Santa!” I cried, jerking against him. The orgasm rolled over me hard and I buried my head against the shoulder of his costume, biting at the fabric as I came. I kept thrusting over him, my mind numb as I trembled around him, his fingers clawing at my ass when he arched and slammed me back down.

“Fuck!” Nick drove into me with one final thrust, and then the two of us huddled around his belly in a panting stupor. Neither of us spoke as the swing of the chair settled to a halt.

It took a good minute for us to come to our senses. I leaned back and stared over him, then wiped the sweat off his hairline. Nick’s face was bright red, but that was to be expected having fucked in a Santa costume. His hat and wig dangled precariously and exposed his dark brown hair beneath, and I couldn’t help but grin.

“Wow,” was all I mustered.

“Wow is accurate,” Nick said.

Slowly, I climbed out of his lap. My limbs were sore from the awkward position on the chair, but every other part of me felt phenomenal. I admired him as I stood before him—his hat cockeyed, his red jacket wet with our sweat, and his withered shaft poking out from the crotch of his Santa pants—and then I adjusted my hat.

“So what’s it like playing Santa?”

Nick grinned.

“Far better than I expected. Especially with such a hot Mrs. Claus.”

“Well, Merry Christmas!” I said.

He grabbed my hand and drew me closer, his arms as tight as they could be around my waist with the girth of his belly between us. He covered my chest in kisses, then slid his hands over my ass.

“As far as I can tell, Christmas isn’t over.”

“No?” I asked. I gave him a quick kiss, and when I stood again, he crept his hands under my skirt and grasped the waistband of my fishnets and panties. I straightened his hat on his head while he eased the fabric down over my hips, my breath catching in my throat.

“Nope. I haven’t unwrapped all the presents yet.”

I giggled as he dipped beneath my skirt, the tip of his Santa hat all I could see peeking out from beneath the hem. His tongue slid over my swollen folds when he slipped a finger inside me, and I gripped the back of his head with a giddy smile.

I don’t know if Nick will play Santa at our next holiday party, but for this year, I’d certainly gotten everything I asked for.

*

Black and white photo of Jade A. Waters

Jade’s Gone Aural

Sometimes, it’s fun to work in different mediums. This is why artists occasionally swap from acrylics to pen and ink, or from watercolor to encaustic. In my case, I usually switch from fiction to poetry, of course keeping a foot in one while dabbling in another.

So today, I’m excited to release a new medium on my site. I have a few freebies posted here, but I thought, why not release some audio versions? Ultimately, I’d like to do this with all the poems and flash pieces I post, but for now, I’ll give a little sampler to hopefully brighten a Monday morning.

The following are audio versions of three flash stories: “Two Shots of Gin,” “Heat,” and one previously hosted on another site, “Victory Lap.” All of them are available to read along, if you’d like. Or, feel free to give the voice recording a whirl right here:

Two Shots of Gin

Heat

Victory Lap

No matter what your method, I hope you enjoy them. They were great fun to record. 😉

XX,
Jade

The Pillow Talk...Erotica Writers Talking Dirty logo: black and white image of a cartoon woman with bright red lips on a pillow

Pillow Talk Secrets: We’ve Got a Whole Lotta Love

Hey everyone! Welcome back to our next round of Pillow Talk Secrets. Malin James, Tamsin Flowers, and I have so much love to share with you! Today, the lovely Malin leads the discussion about our influences—erotic and otherwise. We had a lot to say about authors and titles that inspired us. We hope you enjoy the conversation, and please join us at the end to share your loves, too.

As usual, I’ll be posting a segment of our post here with a link to read more at the end, or, you can hop right on over to the Pillow Talk site to read this Secrets in its entirety.The Pillow Talk...Erotica Writers Talking Dirty logo: black and white image of a cartoon woman with bright red lips on a pillow

Thanks for joining us!

XX,
Jade

Pillow Talk Secrets

Malin: Hello ladies! How are you doing today?

Jade: Hi you! Just lovely. How about the two of you?

Tamsin: Hello lovelies, I’m just fine thank you!

M: Excellent! We’ve all been so busy, I’m glad we’re getting to chat today. I’ve been looking forward to this topic since we decided on it a few weeks ago. We’re talking about our writerly, and readerly, influences. Shall we jump right in?

J: I love this topic. Let’s dive in!

T: Ah – I have to say, I’ve not been so sure…you both know but the readers might not, that I actually wrote my first published erotic story before I’d really even read any! So, I can’t claim to be well read and I think I’m playing catch up with you two!

J: To be honest, I hadn’t read all that much erotica before I started, either. In fact, I wrote my first piece when I was like 16. I’d only read a handful of stories by then.

M: Same here. While I read erotica, my real influences fall outside of the genre… So, in that case, if we’re all influenced by work outside the genre, let’s start with non-erotic fiction. Without thinking too hard, which books or authors come to mind?

Owen MeaneyT: I just have one go-to writer – John Irving. Well, obviously there are others, which I’ll come on to but for me, he’s a genius. The characters he creates literally stay with you for years, and they’re all totally individual and intriguing. And he’s one of the very few writers that can have you crying with laughter on one page and then sobbing your heart out on the next. His talent is extraordinary and he has a lot in common with another of my favorites, Charles Dickens. They both write long, involved, complicated stories which you can really sink your teeth into.

M: Ahhhh! John Irving is wonderful. Which of his titles is your favorite?

T: The first Irving I read, and still one of my favorites was Son of the Circus. And then of course, Owen Meany – the nativity scene is my favorite all time scene in any book.

J: So, nobody smack me, but I never read John Irving. Or much Dickens, for that matter, so I’m impressed.

T: Oh, missy, get to the library now!!!

M: I’m sorry – my geek is getting activated. I’m going all single-minded! Tamsin, for Dickens, if you could only pick one Dickens ever to have read, which would it be?

T: Dickens? Bleak House. Oh, and Great Expectations!

M: I love Bleak House! I’m going to admit something here – Bleak House is actually one of the books I had in mind when I started conceiving of The Briary, (my WIP). That and a couple of Wilkie Collins novels and Dracula. Always Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

dracula-coverJ: Yes to Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Wow, I loved that one. I read it in high school and couldn’t put it down.

T: God yes! And, of course, as a woman who’s written two vampire novels, Stoker is an inspiration. And Collins too!

M: Oh, I love Wilkie Collins! The Woman in White is still a big favorite! Jade what about you? What’s stayed with you?

J: See, I was all caught up in Margaret Atwood and a few too many rounds of Jane Eyre, (I read that about 12 times by age 10). Plus, I tended to read a lot of more contemporary authors – Anne Rice was one, but more Carol Goodman (LOVE that woman), and Anne Bishop on the spec fic side. Oh and V.C. Andrews. But weren’t we all influenced by V.C. Andrews?

Click here to read more!