Sexy topless man in a Santa hat

“Office Santa” — A Free Story for the Holidays!

Happy December!

The holiday season is upon us, and there’s nothing I love more than all the cheer and festivity that comes with it. On top of that, I’m a big giver—which is why I’m delighted to share a free story with you for the Christmas season!

Last year, I wrote “Office Santa” about Kristi, a particularly sassy executive administrative assistant who happens to love nothing more than a sexy man in a Santa suit. The story was published in an anthology that sadly had a very short shelf life, but I’ve decided that—since it’s the holidays and all—I would love to share it with you right now.

For free!

This story is by no means short, and it’s damn sassy and filthy. Perfect for the holidays, if you ask me!

So, please get your Christmas spirits ready and sneak under the mistletoe with me. I hope you enjoy “Office Santa.”

Happy Holidays!

XX,
Jade

Picture of silver ballsOFFICE SANTA

by

Jade A. Waters

Me and Office Santa—we go way back.

See, after seven years of organizing our annual holiday party, I’ve learned I have a real affinity for a gentleman in a Santa costume—which is saying a lot, since I love a man in a suit and tie, and the male partners around here look so delicious in their business wear it’s a miracle we don’t have a major sexual harassment problem. But Christ, put one of them in a fuzzy red suit with a squishy belly, a big black belt, matching boots, and that goddamn aphrodisiac of a hat, and I lose all semblance of self-control.

Part of the appeal is the man who dons the suit, of course. Last year, for example, it was David. He’s one of the busiest partners, so watching him slow down to have a glass of wine with the rest of us—appreciating the season and wearing that fantastic red costume—actually made him approachable. I mean, he was always that way with me, but no one ever saw that. Ours was an affair composed of exactly three entanglements: the first on the break room table after the rest of the company had gone home, the second when I picked him up from the airport after a conference since the driver I’d arranged had neglected to show, and the third the time I took him home from the holiday party. He’d spent the night tumbling around my apartment—he was a little awkward with the suit dangling around his thighs because I wouldn’t let him take it off. In return, I kept the sexy Mrs. Claus dress on and let him rip a hole in the crotch of my fishnets so he could get his hands on me. There’s something to be said for a man wearing a Santa hat while under your skirt, shoving his tongue way up inside until you come to visions of sugarplums and all that, so it was a win-win for us both.

For the five years before David, Nelson and Associates had encouraged Michael to wear the suit. Everybody loved Michael—he was charismatic and handsome, and took interest in the lives of our office staff and clients. He also bought presents for all of us executive admins because he understood how hard we worked. He made a point of bringing me an extra special set of gifts when he arrived on my doorstep after the holiday party every year—a bottle of champagne, a box of chocolates, a pair of earrings, and then him in that delicious Santa suit. I told him he could skip the earrings, but he had a thing for putting them in my earlobes for me. He’d trail his fingers along every curve in my ear, then ask me to strip down to my boots and nothing else. I won’t lie—that part always made me hot. Then he’d ask me to suck on pieces of chocolate when he bent me over a chair and fucked me while singing Christmas carols.

The guy was a real freak behind closed doors, and that’s why we had so much fun together during our annual rendezvous. We probably would have done it more often, but a girl can only eat so much chocolate—plus he ended up taking a job at our satellite firm in India.

This year, we at Nelson had some trouble convincing anyone to wear the suit. The role had traditionally gone to one of the partners, and thanks to my hard work arranging schedules, conferences, and international travel, I’d left us with exactly two to choose from come holiday time: Gregory and Nick. Neither of them knew about my Santa habit—in fact, no one in the office did except the lucky few to have donned the suit—but it’s not like I could use that as a bargaining chip anyway. That would be inappropriate.

Gregory was married, so he would have made a terrible candidate. Nick, then, became my sole desire. He had the right name, he was in town for the party, and on top of that, he had an ass I’d been ogling since he joined the firm six months earlier. I could picture it beneath the red seat of the infamous Santa costume, rounding as he’d drive his way inside of me, and I knew I had to get him on my Christmas list.

My job as the lead executive administrative assistant meant I was a busy girl, and organizing the holiday party made everything more complicated this time of year. So while I’d wanted to put on the charm and be the reason Nick chose the suit, I knew better. I’d stuck Shirley on it, with her big blue eyes and amazing tits, because Nick would never say no to a girl like that sweet-talking him into the role.

Please do not misunderstand—Nick was no misogynist. He was, by far, the most respectable, refined, and appreciated partner who had ever worked in our firm. He exceeded Michael’s reputation for charm but struck most of us as a bit more introverted, and his was not the nature to grotesquely harass a pretty subordinate. It’s just that Shirley had a rack even I fantasized about sometimes, and with those doe eyes and melodic voice working for her, it was difficult to resist anything she asked. Plus she was new to the job and ever so polite, and most of us wanted to see her do well.

Besides—sure enough, my plan worked. He’d said yes, she’d felt accomplished, and now I was all set to reap the rewards: Nick and his hot ass in the Santa suit.

I swear to god thinking about it made it impossible to work the week leading up the party. I’d stashed an extra pair of panties in my desk drawer because sometimes I worried I’d soak right through my dress clothes—especially yesterday, when I literally ran into Nick in the break room, both of us careening around the entryway from opposite sides and colliding with one another. I had only a second to appreciate his broad chest smacking against mine, and next there came the realization that my papers were scattered across the floor.

“Oh crap, Kristi—I’m so sorry!” he’d said. We’d looked at one another startled for a minute, me getting somewhat lost in his green eyes as I imagined how they’d pair with his Santa costume in pure Christmas color perfection, and once he flushed in embarrassment at running into me he’d bent over to start picking up my papers.

I’d crouched down beside him, my skirt creeping up on my thighs and catching his gaze. He idled on them long enough that my breath caught in my throat, but then we both set back to work gathering the papers I’d spent the last fifteen minutes organizing.

“Let me know what I can do to help with these. Are they alphabetized? Numerical? God, I’m so sorry!” he repeated. He awkwardly handed the papers over as we both stood back up, but I patted his arm.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “Accidents happen. Plus, I can forgive you because you’re playing Santa tomorrow night.” I winked, but it was true. Handsome, polite future-Santas went a long way with me.

Nick snickered. “That I am.”

“Are you ready for your role?”

“Sure. Aren’t I just wearing a suit?”

“Well, you’re Santa. That’s a big deal.”

“Is it? I guess the pressure’s on, huh?” He appeared somewhat ruffled, his ordinarily cool demeanor disturbed by our run-in. I, meanwhile, felt the familiar tingle in my limbs every time I talked to him. Besides being the most attractive man to have worked for the company, he was the nicest. His clients continually raved about him, and I never minded writing his expense reports because he submitted the most detailed, organized receipts and took the time to talk to me instead of dumping them on my desk.

I drew my hands to my hips and nodded very seriously. “You’re the Santa at a holiday party—yes, the pressure’s on! I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that I appreciate a good Santa.”

“Do you?”

Nick peered down at me, and I wondered if he could hear the thumping of my heart. His lips turned up at the corners and I could picture them surrounded by a white beard that I’d tug down before kissing him. In truth, I would have kissed him with or without the costume, which made him playing Santa the best Christmas gift I could ever ask for.

I grinned. “I really do.”

“In that case…I’m looking forward to the party.” He ran his fingers through his dark hair and I shifted my thighs to ease the moisture slicking up between them. It didn’t help that he followed with, “I hear you do an amazing job organizing this thing.”

“Aww. Thanks.”

We stood there for a minute more, silent. Then I remembered I’d scheduled his conference call in five minutes.

“Oh, you better run for your call with TechVibe. Can’t wait to see you as Santa!” I said.

Nick smiled, and I could tell he was curious with the way I’d said the words—a little bit breathy, and a lot flirtatious.

But he was going to play Santa, after all.

That’s about the only thing I could think about for the next day, which was a real pain with the list of tasks I had to accomplish before we closed down early that Friday for the party. Somehow, I made do, getting a two hour head start on everyone else to finish decorating the local community center. I’d rented it out the last few years to much fanfare, since we all seemed to prefer to celebrate the holiday away from the office. The space afforded a kitchen for the caterers plus a couple expansive rooms, and I typically designated one for the bar and the majority of the food, one for the hired piano player and the late-night raffle, and the other one for general socialization. That’s where I planted Santa—away from the big time revelers so I could keep my eye on him, but near enough to still be part of the fun.

The staff at the community center had kindly allowed me to swap out their Christmas tree star with one we’d designed for Nelson the year before—it was a blue neon monstrosity with the letter ‘N’ on it, for spirit—and I propped it up there with my annual sigh of appreciation that the Nelson staff didn’t mind a more Christmas-oriented party. We’d done a Hanukkah thing four years prior and then took a survey to be P.C. about it, and it turned out most everyone preferred the Christmas theme. Everyone except Margaret, that is, but she’d admitted to me she hated holidays in general, so when I started offering her a box of shortbread cookies as the season kicked off every year, she’d told me she was satisfied with a great big hug.

I finished teetering on the ladder in my heeled boots as my colleagues began to arrive. I was fully costumed already, wearing my flouncy plush red Mrs. Claus dress that I’d cinched in at the waist with a belt identical to that of the Santa suit. I’d also replaced the black fishnets David ripped last year with a pair of bright red ones. The whole get-up was a tad risqué for a work event, but no one ever complained—especially not the Santas.

“Oh Kristi, this place looks fantastic!” Shirley squealed. She and a handful of others had joined the company since last Christmas, and the group of them peered around in wonderment at all the classy decorations sparkling in greens, reds, silvers, and golds that complemented the pianist’s sophisticated renditions of Christmas carols.

She gave me a hug, then looked me over. “You look amazing. You’re the sassiest Mrs. Claus I’ve ever seen!”

“Thanks, Shirley.” I couldn’t stop myself from admiring her chest—she’d arrived wearing the red angora sweater that made her breasts stand out more than normal, and once the drinks started flowing, the men were going to have a field day watching her. There were usually a few hookups at these events beyond my secret Santa one, but I figured Shirley was clever enough to avoid raising suspicion this early on in her tenure.

I pointed out the various rooms to her and the others who started pouring through the door, greeting each colleague with a hug and a raffle ticket before they dispersed. Everyone was here to have a good time, and since I worked with a group of people who actually enjoyed one another’s company, this was bound to happen. I was eager to roam around and socialize myself, but a Mrs. Claus certainly can’t function without her mister.

It was that Mr. Claus that arrived about twenty minutes later, his tall, fit body hidden in the Santa costume and sending a chill down my spine.

“Nick Claus!” I said, reaching out to shake his hand. His entire palm engulfed my fingers and I grinned. “You look fantastic.”

And did he ever. The rugged lines of his face peeked out from behind the white beard, and when he raised his eyebrows they grazed the matching wig he’d braved beneath the Santa hat. His stuffed belly jutted out around his belt and he’d laced the boots up over the bottom of his pants like they were supposed to be worn, so they tapered neatly at his calves. I couldn’t wait to check him out from the rear, where I knew the white hem of his jacket would draw attention to the red fabric covering the exquisite shape of his ass.

“Good enough?” he asked. He pushed the curls of the wig away from his forehead and fondled the hat atop his head. That hat brought back so many memories, except tonight I wanted nothing more than to make new ones with him—Nick Claus, the real Claus. The best damn looking Santa Claus this office had ever seen.

“Oh yeah,” I muttered. He still hadn’t released my hand, and I’m not sure if it was the way I said the words—which is to say, completely breathless as I stared over him in that costume—or if he just happened to fully peer over me then, but Nick squeezed my fingers rather abruptly before kissing the back of my hand.

“You look delightful yourself, Mrs. Claus.” He kept my hand in his and twirled me around, then rested his free hand on his giant belly. “I hope saying so doesn’t overstep a bound…”

Nick had about a million bounds to overstep with me that evening, and I was ready. I scooted close to him, tilting my lips up toward his ear and lowering my voice so he’d have to lean to hear me over the pianist’s melody.

“I love a good Claus, Nick, so you can tell me whatever you wish tonight.”

His cheeks flushed the perfect red to match his costume, and I backed away lest anyone see us. Excitedly, I guided him to the main room and pointed out the lavish rocking chair designated for him.

“This is your room, and you’re obviously welcome to roam around,” I said, gesturing toward the other rooms. “But when it comes time for people to sit on Santa’s lap, you know where you need to be.”

Nick wrinkled his nose. “Shirley didn’t tell me about that. Neither did you.”

“I didn’t want to spoil the surprise, but don’t worry—it will work in your favor. Promise.”

I didn’t give him time to ask what I meant, instead running off to check on the caterers. It was awfully challenging to focus with him filling out that suit so damn well, and the wet spot in my thong wasn’t helping much, either.

After checking in on the food and the rest of the guests, I ordered a vodka cranberry from the bartender and began to circulate. The Nelson crew enjoyed themselves—everyone drinking and chatting, eating and laughing, and most everyone taking pictures with Nick in his delectable costume. I’d delegated raffle duties to Caroline this time, and she started it up fairly quickly while I doubled back to stand with Nick.

“How are you doing in that suit?”

“It’s pretty warm in here with all the stuffing.” He patted his belly. “But everyone seems happy so I’ll make do. You threw one hell of a party, Kristi. Nicely done.”

I held up my glass and he clanked his drink against mine. Then we stood together to watch the raffle, like Mr. and Mrs. Claus surveying the cheerful people around us. My knees grew weaker by the second, and I let my fantasy reel of Nick Claus play out while Caroline spoke into a microphone and handed presents out for the next twenty minutes. Once she’d distributed the last prize, some of the staff opted to go home. Most of them had spouses and family waiting there, which was fine since it left the rest of us to enjoy more of the bar services.

And of course, Santa’s lap time.

Nick could hardly stop laughing when I ushered him into his rocking chair and announced that the next thirty minutes were open for some “Santa Seat Time” in order for everyone to tell him what they wanted for Christmas. It was a novelty we’d started back when Michael held the role, and Nick played along like a good volunteer while I hung back with the other assistants.

“He looks absolutely ridiculous in that costume,” Betsy said. “He’s such a hunk normally, but throw him in a Santa suit and it ruins everything for me.”

A few of them bobbed their heads in agreement, and I pursed my lips to keep from protesting. They could think whatever they wanted—that man, in that costume, was sending trembles through my body that made me want to climb into his lap right then.

Elliott tapped my shoulder. “Hey Mrs. Claus, don’t you get to tell him what you want for Christmas, too? You arranged this party, after all.” He gave my fishnets a glance and snorted. “And for God’s sake you fit the part.”

I shrugged, though I longed to do exactly that. Instead, I watched Gregory finagle his way into Santa’s lap, making poor Nick mighty uncomfortable.

“Now that is funny,” Betsy said.

Sexy topless man in a Santa hat

“Every lady should get to tell Santa what she wants.”

The pianist began pounding out “Jingle Bells” and I squeezed my knees together, both because watching Nick costumed in the rocking chair was making it hard to stand, and because I remembered it being Michael’s favorite carol to sing when he fucked me.

Regardless, I knew the tune was toward the end of the pianist’s lineup since I’d checked his set list in advance, and I appreciated the nearing finale. There was no telling how late everyone would mingle once the music died down, but hopefully it wouldn’t be for too long.

I had a Santa to seduce.

Nick patted Gregory on the ass with a boisterous laugh when he left the rocking chair, a chummy gesture indicative of the right amount of alcohol loosening him up in his costume, and my urge to fuck him amplified so extensively that my nipples peaked beneath my dress. I wanted that Santa like I’d never wanted the two before him, and I knew the only way to get through the rest of the party was to channel all my focus into gabbing, frolicking, and flirting like my other tipsy colleagues until everyone went home for the weekend. At 10:30, the last few stragglers were gathering their prizes and hugging one another good night while I stood eyeing the Christmas tree, and Nick came up behind me.

“Ready for it to be over?” he asked.

He’d pulled the beard down around his chin, but I didn’t mind. He had the most beautiful face framed by all that fake white hair, and he still had the hat on properly. He took a step forward, the stuffing of his belly so protrusive he almost grazed it against me, and a shiver rippled through my body.

“Kind of, but I do enjoy seeing everyone have a good time.”

“Of course.” He smiled down at me, his eyes a little glossy from the booze and no doubt the warmth inside his costume, and I ached to scale every inch of his red-wrapped body there by the tree.

“It’s late though, and there’s some clean up…”

“Do you want some help?” He blurted it out so fast it was like he’d been waiting to say it. The last three guests at the door interrupted by shouting out my name. One of them was Shirley, who held the final food tray of many she’d generously toted to her car over the last thirty minutes. She glanced between Nick and me with a curious gaze, so I held up a finger to pause him and shimmied over to plant a kiss on her cheek.

“Thanks for your help, darling,” I said. “You’re a great addition to our company and I’m so glad we have you.”

She beamed, distracted enough by the compliment that her wonder was tempered. She waved goodbye and slipped out the door with the other two assistants, none of them taking any notice of Santa Claus staying behind with his missus.

Once I shut the door I turned around, rolling Nick’s offer around in my head. I’d paid extra to keep the key so that I could get a cleaning crew in here the next day, and though there were a few things to handle that Shirley hadn’t already done, I’d planned on leaving most of it till morning so I could figure out how to get Nick to myself.

“Sorry about that,” I said.

“No problem. You’re so good with everyone, and I admire all your work.”

I rested my hands on my hips, not sure what to say. My thoughts were wrapped up in how to get into his suit, so I bit my lip in contemplation.

“But about the help—do you need any? I feel like I owe you for scattering your papers everywhere yesterday.”

“Oh, shh,” I said. I waved him off and cocked my hip out to the side, and he eyed my legs while smoothing his hands over his stuffing-filled belly. “Besides, there’s not much to do tonight.”

“Okay.”

There was a hint of disappointment in his voice, which made it much easier to share my next thought.

“However, I didn’t get any Santa Seat Time.”

Nick chuckled, the motion jostling the padding of his belly. “Every lady should get to tell Santa what she wants,” he said.

He stuck out his hand and I took it, blissfully aware of the heat that rushed into my pussy at the prospect of telling him precisely what I wanted for Christmas. He led me to his rocking chair, and though no one was there to see us, I’m sure we looked a pair—Mr. and Mrs. Claus, walking hand in hand across the hardwood floor of the local community center.

Nick scooted back into the seat and patted his thigh, and it was a Christmas miracle I didn’t come right then.

I stood beside him while he steered his gaze from my face down to my boots.

“Well, well, well, young lady,” he said, in classic Santa fashion. I gave a brief curtsy, and Nick guided me onto his thigh. The soft felt of his costume was delightful on my ass through the holes of my fishnets, and I squirmed on purpose. Nick coughed, then said, “Kristi…er, Mrs. Claus…fancy seeing you here in my lap.”

I stared into his eyes. Against the red of the costume they shined the brightest green, and I was ready for him to show me naughty and nice. “Can I tell you what I want for Christmas, Santa?” I said, pursing my lips.

He shifted.

“Why yes, yes you can.” He curved his hand around my side, drawing me closer, and I took this as an excuse to sidle directly against his belly.

Nick gasped, since my thigh now rested against the hard-on he had hidden beneath those fuzzy red pants.

“Oh my Santa,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “It appears you might be after the same Christmas wish that I am.”

“Kristi—”

I placed a finger over his lips, then grabbed his hand. He’d skipped the costume gloves, but that was okay because they’d be in the way for what I did next—which was shove his hand up my skirt. “Are you okay with this?”

Nick grinned. He snuck his fingers against the crevice between my thighs. He stroked them down and back up, his fingers still hot through my fishnets and panties. I scooted as close as possible and moved my mouth near his.

“Are you?” he asked.

“I have a thing for the costume and I just put your hand under my skirt. Do you really need to ask?”

“You’re turned on by this suit?” He pressed his fingers harder against me, finding the swollen nub of my clit through the fabric and swiping at it a few times.

“Oh yes,” I panted.

We sat there for a moment, his fingers chafing me though the layers of fabric and my breath pouring raggedly against his face.

“Tell me more,” he said.

“Well,” I said, “I’ve been a very good girl, so I think I should get everything I want for Christmas.”

The words made his cock lurch against my thigh, so I slipped my hand under his jacket. Buried beneath that stuffing was the fly of his red pants, and I hooked my fingers on the button and tugged until it snapped open. Nick caressed me faster and I snuck my hand inside his briefs, taking him into my palm with a groan.

“You’re rock hard, Santa.”

Nick nodded. “And you’re damn wet, Kristi. What do you want for Christmas?”

I glided my hand along his length a few times, loving the way he squinted his eyes. It was like Santa having a jolly good laugh, even though his beard was out of place. Nick weaved his fingers through the holes of my tights and under the sides of my thong, and when he managed to get two of them inside me, I whimpered.

“You, Santa,” I growled. I stroked him more furiously and he did his best to shove his fingers deep despite the fabric in the way. I wrapped my free hand around his neck and pulled him close, and right before I kissed him, I said, “I want to fuck you, Claus.”

Nick’s cock throbbed against my hand and I slammed my lips against his. We were kissing—me and Nick, Office Santa and me—and our tongues tangled together as we clawed at one another’s sex. This Santa could kiss, and when he thrust against my hand I climbed up to straddle him. The motion sent the rocking chair swinging and both of us gave a startled shriek. We took a minute to balance ourselves before I rolled my hips against his crotch, feeling the thickness of his rod though the fabric that separated us.

“Here?” he asked between kisses. He didn’t wait for an answer, tugging down the neckline of my dress to expose my bra. He bit at my chest, pulling my breast free of the cup so he could take my nipple in his lips, and when he sucked on the tip I grinded against him until he moaned.

I took that as my cue, reaching down and ripping a hole in my fishnets—I’d already replaced them once, so what was one more time, anyway? Next I yanked my panties aside and Nick gasped.

I guided him against my cunt, skimming my wetness with his dick, and while I teased myself in this way I stretched my other hand to my boot to retrieve the condom I’d shoved inside earlier. Nick chuckled before I ripped it open and worked it down over his length, but his laughter became a heavy groan when I slid over him and took him deep.

“Oh Kristi!”

Nick Claus was inside me, and already I could feel my body shaking. I rocked against him, sending the chair swinging again, and both of us moaned. He crept his hands beneath my skirt and cupped my ass, his fingers digging the fishnets into my skin as he lifted me up and down. The motion of the rocking chair became a consistent swing that matched our stride. He felt so good I grabbed the bars of the chair so I could slam down over him, and when my free hand sank into the padding of his belly I moaned again.

“Nick, oh Claus…”

He kissed me, but it was messy and broken, both of us writhing against one another in a careful balance of fucking and rocking in that chair. Our breathing became frenzied, and he made grunts that no decent Santa would make as I rode him like the naughty Mrs. Claus I was. The fabric of his costume had slipped between us and grated against my clit in the most pleasant of ways, and as Nick yanked me against him, I felt the pleasure coming over me faster than a midnight sleigh ride around the world.

“Santa!” I cried, jerking against him. The orgasm rolled over me hard and I buried my head against the shoulder of his costume, biting at the fabric as I came. I kept thrusting over him, my mind numb as I trembled around him, his fingers clawing at my ass when he arched and slammed me back down.

“Fuck!” Nick drove into me with one final thrust, and then the two of us huddled around his belly in a panting stupor. Neither of us spoke as the swing of the chair settled to a halt.

It took a good minute for us to come to our senses. I leaned back and stared over him, then wiped the sweat off his hairline. Nick’s face was bright red, but that was to be expected having fucked in a Santa costume. His hat and wig dangled precariously and exposed his dark brown hair beneath, and I couldn’t help but grin.

“Wow,” was all I mustered.

“Wow is accurate,” Nick said.

Slowly, I climbed out of his lap. My limbs were sore from the awkward position on the chair, but every other part of me felt phenomenal. I admired him as I stood before him—his hat cockeyed, his red jacket wet with our sweat, and his withered shaft poking out from the crotch of his Santa pants—and then I adjusted my hat.

“So what’s it like playing Santa?”

Nick grinned.

“Far better than I expected. Especially with such a hot Mrs. Claus.”

“Well, Merry Christmas!” I said.

He grabbed my hand and drew me closer, his arms as tight as they could be around my waist with the girth of his belly between us. He covered my chest in kisses, then slid his hands over my ass.

“As far as I can tell, Christmas isn’t over.”

“No?” I asked. I gave him a quick kiss, and when I stood again, he crept his hands under my skirt and grasped the waistband of my fishnets and panties. I straightened his hat on his head while he eased the fabric down over my hips, my breath catching in my throat.

“Nope. I haven’t unwrapped all the presents yet.”

I giggled as he dipped beneath my skirt, the tip of his Santa hat all I could see peeking out from beneath the hem. His tongue slid over my swollen folds when he slipped a finger inside me, and I gripped the back of his head with a giddy smile.

I don’t know if Nick will play Santa at our next holiday party, but for this year, I’d certainly gotten everything I asked for.

*

Black and white photo of Jade A. Waters

Jade’s Gone Aural

Sometimes, it’s fun to work in different mediums. This is why artists occasionally swap from acrylics to pen and ink, or from watercolor to encaustic. In my case, I usually switch from fiction to poetry, of course keeping a foot in one while dabbling in another.

So today, I’m excited to release a new medium on my site. I have a few freebies posted here, but I thought, why not release some audio versions? Ultimately, I’d like to do this with all the poems and flash pieces I post, but for now, I’ll give a little sampler to hopefully brighten a Monday morning.

The following are audio versions of three flash stories: “Two Shots of Gin,” “Heat,” and one previously hosted on another site, “Victory Lap.” All of them are available to read along, if you’d like. Or, feel free to give the voice recording a whirl right here:

Two Shots of Gin

Heat

Victory Lap

No matter what your method, I hope you enjoy them. They were great fun to record. 😉

XX,
Jade

Cover of Chemical (se)X

“The Connection” is Part of Chemical [se]X—Out Today!

Hi everyone! Great news—Chemical [se]X is out today! This anthology is the product of one crazy sexy idea offered up by the lovely Oleander Plume. See, once upon a time, Oleander wrote a story about a couple of scientists who stumbled upon a very special type of chocolate—an aphrodisiac chocolate, released into the world to improve the lives of, well, everyone.

So a bit after writing this, Oleander asked a randy crew of us if we’d like to write a story based on her chocolate idea. The answer was an easy yes, and the results are one gorgeous collection filled to the brim with chocolate, sex, chocolate, and…more sex! I’m tickled to have “The Connection” alongside the work of several other authors with whom I’m familiar—Tabitha Rayne, Annabeth Yeong, and Jacob Louder, and especially my Pillow Talk cohorts, Tamsin Flowers and Malin James—and then there are some up-and-comers who arrived ready to rock your world, such as Ella Dawson and Exhibit A. But that’s not all! This baker’s dozen all created something new for the chocolate theme, and their stories are released into the wild today. To celebrate, I’d like to share an excerpt of my story, plus a blurb!

“The Connection” is a story about a once-overtly sexual couple losing the spark in their marriage—until the wife, Aubrey, decides it’s time to do something about it with a box of these special chocolates.

Read on for a morsel of “The Connection”:

Heavy and taunting, the container had banged against her hip when she hoisted her purse over her shoulder, its presence as poignant as the need deep in her sex when she pondered what might happen after Terence came home. The wonder burned on as she waited for him, and when she ran her fingers across the top of the box, she tilted her head coyly to the side. Aubrey could actually smell the truffles through the cardboard and the wrapping, the scent definitively chocolate with a whiff of crisp mint and grass beneath. But there was something else, too. It was earthy and rich, she realized, much like arousal.

Her arousal.

Aubrey wanted to wait for Terence, but she ached to know what these chocolates could do. Lifting the lid, she admired the six candies inside, each piece tempting her from within the black and white polka-dotted foil cups. The store clerk had explained this decorative packaging as specific to the premium box, “guaranteed to satisfy” or her money back tomorrow.

How could she resist?

Quickly, Aubrey grabbed a chocolate and took the smallest nibble, then nested the candy back in its cup. The dark chocolate tingled along her tongue and down her throat when she swallowed, the sensation peculiar and warm. It had to be her imagination, but the lid was barely back on the box when the feeling spread through her neck, her breasts, and her arms. It was powerful, overwhelming and sweet—exactly how she felt when Terence thrust inside her, making her whimper and writhe in passion.

Aubrey gasped.

That. Yes, that.Cover of Chemical (se)X

*

Taste the blurb:

Sex and chocolate! Was there ever such a marriage made in heaven? Isn’t the thought of it making you bite your lip? Chocolate melting on your tongue…desire pooling in your gut… Pheromones, endorphins, theobromine…there’s a chemical connection between sex and chocolate that makes our craving for the pair together far more than the sum of its parts.

Oleander Plume has always been obsessed by this coupling and so, inspired by her wicked short story Chemical [se]X, she corralled a baker’s dozen of erotica writers and force fed them chocolate until they complied with her wishes. Each one of them has turned in a mini-masterpiece of chocolate, seduction and red-hot sizzling sex that will have your cheeks burning and your fingers reaching for just…one…more.

All of the writers Oleander selected are at the top of their high caliber game. From seasoned writers who’ve already proved their mettle to a number of extraordinarily gifted newcomers, you’ll find so much satisfaction between these pages. In every story, the aphrodisiac chocolates developed in Oleander’s original story put in an appearance—causing a submissive to turn Domme, kicking off an orgy at a roller disco, rekindling a long-dead marriage, and playing havoc within the repressed confines of religious order. Men jump on men, a woman jumps on her husband’s boss, twosomes become threesomes become foursomes… These chocolates need to carry a warning—just like this book—too hot to handle!

Naturally, each copy of Chemical [se]X should come with its own small gold box of aphrodisiac chocolates. We’re so sorry it doesn’t! But rest assured, the stories you’ll find between these pages will leave you just as heated as any aphrodisiac could have done. Finger-licking good!

Partake of the feast:

Oleander Plume’s “Chemical [se]X” kicked the whole thing off as a potent South American herb is developed into the most irresistible chocolate ever.

In Malin James’s “Bittersweet,” one taste of the sexy chocolates is enough for a submissive to come over all Domme with her married lover.

For her first published outing, Ella Dawson takes us back to the college dorm where the “Friendly Neighborhood Drug Dealer” is peddling candy that has a whole new affect…

In “Flat Warming,” Exhibit A’s lovelorn bachelor finds succor when a different kind of hunger drives new flat mates to set aside the sweets and start munching on each other instead.

For a long-time married couple, life in the bedroom has virtually ground to a halt in Jade A Waters’ “The Connection.” That is until the wife hears about a new brand of chocolate…

In Tabitha Rayne’s, “The Dinner Guest,” a couple unearth their secret kinky desires when an old college friend starts dishing out the chocolates.

When a temp lands a job in the offices of the chocolate manufacturer, she uncovers some unexpectedly sweet perks… It’s “Chocolate Covered” by F. Leonora Solomon.

In “[du]X,” Dario Dalla Lasta takes us for a testosterone-charged spin around the roller-disco courtesy of, you guessed it, some very special chocolates.

When her husband’s boss comes for dinner, one woman’s dessert turns into something extraordinary when she chooses a novel ingredient for making the ganache—”Dinner for Three” from L. Maretta.

In Jacob Louder’s “Thursday Threesome/Birthday Foursome” the usual dynamic of a Thursday threesome is all shook up by the arrival of an extra guest and the ingestion of the aphrodisiacs.

C. E. Hansen offers us a sizzling journey home from work in “The Commute”—after all, why wait until you get home?

Disappearing into the woodshed usually means a horror story, but not in Tamsin Flowers’ lethargic, Deep South encounter with “The Stranger.”

In Oleander Plume’s “Coffee Break,” two young contractors take on more than they bargained for at the Mayor’s residence—but then maybe they shouldn’t have helped themselves to the chocolates!

The collection closes with “The Alleged Savage,” Annabeth Leong’s delicious novella of repressed lust, original sin and chocolate frenzy in a strict religious order.

***

I hope you enjoyed the excerpt for “The Connection,” and also that this blurb has whet your appetite for some chocolate-infused erotica! You can find out more about Chemical [se]X and its authors right here, or, please head on over to Amazon to pick up your copy!

I assure you, it’s one sweet surprise. 🙂

XX,
Jade

Cover of Rose Caraway's Dirty Thirty Audiobook

Sexy Spec Fic Coming Soon!

Some of you may know I dabbled for almost two decades in the speculative fiction world before I officially realized I loved writing erotica. And while now I prefer this realm, I still enjoy the occasional opportunity to turn something naughty to something bizarre or surreal, or even to take it out to another planet.

Cover for Among the StarsSo…imagine my delight at having three Spec Fic erotica pieces coming out in two hot anthologies releasing in the next few months! Hurray!

The first is a charity anthology I briefly mentioned in my September Kicked My Ass post. It’s called Coming Together: Among the Stars, and is a sci-fi themed collection edited by Lynn Townsend to benefit International Still’s Disease Foundation. You can find out more about it here, as well as see all the other fabulous contributors I’m proud to join for this great cause! I’ll share some back story and an excerpt of my story, “The Joy Ride,” closer to the release date (late November), but for now let me offer you a brief preview: in my head, I subtitle this piece “Orgy In Space.”Cover of Rose Caraway's Dirty Thirty Audiobook

So…um…get the picture? 😉

Now, on to the next anthology—I’m also thrilled to announce that both “The Bells” and “The Doll” are going to be a part of Rose Caraway’s Dirty Thirty audiobook coming out later this year. If you didn’t already catch Ms. Caraway’s fabulous narration of my story “Soundscapes” on The Kiss Me Quick’s Erotica Podcast back in July, please do. Only then can you understand how ridiculously, giddily excited I am to be part of this sexy new audiobook. On top of that, Rose Caraway managed to summon crazy shit out of my head (no, really). “The Bells” is a super dark alternate history piece, and “The Doll”…well…I just can’t wait to tell you more about these pieces when we get nearer the release date! 🙂

For now, I encourage you to ogle these fabulous covers as many times as I am (lots)!

XX,
Jade

P.S. “The Match”—the last poem of my 7-Day Poem Challenge—is featured over at The Erotic Woman today! The site is full of steamy stories and poems, so please click on over and take a peek! (NSFW images.)

 

 

Picture of panties around red shoes

Best Sex On the Net: Elust #62!

SS_2014_08_SuperMan
Photo courtesy of Bawdy Bloke

Welcome to Elust #62

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #63? Start with the rules, come back October1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Sex Blogger Life: Real Talk

Selfies, Shame and Safety

‘Dress me like a slut and punish my cock’

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

I live in a sex-positive bubble.

Wicked Wednesday: Silent Memories

 

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
Are you guilty of slut-shaming sex doll lovers?

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

 

Writing About Writing

Why can’t I write gay erotica?!
Cream doesn’t rise: the state of UK erotica
Coming clean about writing dirty…
The Big Book of Submission: 69 Kinky Tales

Erotic Non-Fiction

I’ve Collared Myself a Human Pony
Strapped Back In
View From The Bridal Suite
It’s a date (2/2)
Your Tears Make Me Wet.
Photograph
Spanking – the ultimate mood changer

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Yes, I am a slut. So?
M feels that labeling myself “gay” erases him
“Appearance Not Important”
Traditional sexual consent vs bdsm consent
Bigger Doesn’t Mean Better!
All in One Person: Thoughts on Non-Monogamy
I Lust, Therefore I Am
Buddhism and Poly
The Great Outdoors
My Love Is Not About You #SameSexCouples
Thinking of You
Tantra Massage For Multiple Male Orgasm

Blogging

Blogging: My Layout Pet Peeves
An Unpleasant Outing

Erotic Fiction

The Flight Attendant’s Return Home…
Kinky Cocktail Story Time: The Jelly Bean
Spanked Silent
Hunted

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Quantification of Everything (Especially Sex)
Polyphobia – The New Homophobia

 

Thoughts and Advice on Kink and Fetish

For Submissives.
Protocols. I Want.
When You Can’t Trust Your Body
Masters Guilt
BDSM Is Not (the only) Kink
Fetal

 

ELust Site Badge

Cover of Kristina Wright's Best Erotic Romance 2015

“Fertile” Included in Best Erotic Romance 2015!

It may only be September, but somehow 2015 feels right around the corner…so why not share some big news today?

As you may know, Kristina Wright is the fabulous editor of the Best Erotic Romance series from Cleis Press. Well, the newest installment, Best Erotic Romance 2015, will be out in just a few months—and I’m delighted to share that my story “Fertile” will be included in the anthology! Hurray!

Check out the sexy cover:

Cover of Kristina Wright's Best Erotic Romance 2015

Doesn’t that just make you melt? I positively love it!

Next, take a peek at the line-up:

Introduction: Only the Best
Foreword by Tiffany Reisz
Siren’s Song by Renee Luke
Off the Beaten Path by Heidi Champa
Fair Game by Crystal Jordan
Late Bloomers by Annabeth Leong
Sunday Mornings Like These by Kiki DeLovely
Lotus by Emerald
What Happens at Sea by Tina Simmons
The Luxury Lane by Sommer Marsden
Just Can’t Explain by Martha Davis
The Couch by Malin James
Again by Axa Lee
Fertile by Jade A. Waters
All Your Tomorrows by Skylar Kade
The Crop by Claire de Winter
Mates by Jillian Boyd
Champion by Kathleen Tudor
The Proposal by Tamsin Flowers
Love Lasts by Kristina Wright

Wow! I am so thrilled to be included with all these wonderful writers (and super extra excited that all the Pillow Talk girls will be sharing pages)!

I’ll post an excerpt as we get closer to the release date, but in the meantime, you can mark the book as “Want to Read” on Goodreads. It’s also available for pre-order right now on Amazon!

I think this one is going to be fantastic, folks!

XX,
Jade

 

Jade A. Waters sipping a Jelly Bean while on vacation in Rhodes, Greece

Time for a Kinky Cocktail Story: The Jelly Bean

I am so excited, everyone! Kristina Lloyd’s blog tour for her new book, Undone, starts today. She’ll be stopping by later in the month to answer some questions for me, but in honor of her protagonist, Lara, owning a bar, Kristina wanted to kick off the whole tour with an all-day kinky cocktail party—that is, each of our sites hosts a special drink with kink! Cheers to that!

Now, I had a few ideas running through my head on cocktail options, and as you know, alcohol tends to make people fairly uninhibited. So I thought—in the spirit of a good cocktail party story—I’d be a little extra open today. The following semi-fictional story is inspired by a vacation I took in Greece a few years back, on which I discovered a delightful new drink called “The Jelly Bean”…as well as an incredibly handsome man.

I hope you enjoy the tale…

THE JELLY BEAN

by

Jade A. Waters

“‘The Jelly Bean’? Well naturally, that’s what I’m going to have,” I said, waving my menu about with a squeal.

“Naturally.” Sia rolled her eyes, because after knowing my candy obsession—in particular, jelly beans and licorice—for over a decade, she wasn’t at all surprised.

Our waiter came out from inside the deli, then, and I dropped my menu to the table with a gulp. He was the epitome of all the Greek features I’d been drooling over this entire vacation: gorgeous, tall, and dark, with stunning rich brown eyes and nearly black hair that waved down to the bottom of his ears. And that smile—oh fuck me, that smile—had me sitting back in my chair with a gasp.

“Hi there,” I said.

“Hello, lovely. So you’ll have The Jelly Bean, I take it?”

I flashed him my grin in response. His English was superb, but that accent had me squirming in my seat. Why yes, hot Rhodes waiter. I will have whatever sweet thing you’re offering.

Out loud I said, “Yes please!”

Behind his shoulder, Sia shook her head with another eye roll.

“I’ll have a beer.”

“No problem.” He went inside to fetch our drinks, and my jaw fell open.

“Oh hell-oh,” I said.

“Here we go…” Sia muttered.

See, I admit, vacation sex is my thing. It’s not intentional, but it happens. Foreigners rock my world, and there’s something magical about meeting a man in another country and living a brief romance with him—and don’t get me started on an accent talking dirty in my ear while I’m fucking. I guess for me it’s when in Rome, do a Roman…or something like that. There was the make-out with the Floridean on our Hawaii trip, the beach sex with the Dutchman in Aruba, the park romp with the Roman in Italy, the virginity-shattering of the Croatian in Rovinj, and the sensual island sex with the Texan in Puerto Rico. And of course, I’d already given that bar manager a blow job in the kitchen a few days ago, right before he bent me over one of the tables and then took me skinny dipping in the sea…

But the whole encounter had ended with him being a tremendous ass, so now I needed a better memory. I’d made it two weeks of our vacation through Athens, Ios, and Santorini without a hint of play, and we had only four more days for me to amend my vacation fling, dammit.

Hot Rhodes waiter came back with Sia’s beer and my blue and red glass of wonder. The Jelly Bean, you see, is a concoction of curaçao, grenadine, lemonade, and ouzo, and it tastes exactly like it sounds. I took a sip while they watched, the cool, candy-sweet taste washing down my throat as we sat in the unbelievably torrid, muggy air.

Our waiter grinned again.

“So where are you girls from?”

“San Francisco,” we chimed.

“Wow. San Francisco! We usually only get visitors from the east coast this far over. You two came a long way!”

“We did,” I said. “We wanted the full Greek tour.”

Sia gave me a look, but we made small talk with him for another twenty minutes because the place wasn’t busy midafternoon. Nikolaos—that was his name, and damn, even that fabulously Greek moniker stirred my blood—seemed tickled by his California customers. By the time I’d downed half my second Jelly Bean while devouring my Greek salad and a side of dolmas, we’d already started flirting hard. Sia, the perfect wing woman, laughed and played along, but it was on the way back from the ladies’ room that Nikolaos grabbed my hand and backed me against a wall.

“You’ve got a smile like some American actress…I can’t remember her name. But oh,” he said, looking me over, “you’re beautiful.”

Well, shit, handsome. Take me home now.

“Thank you,” I said. “You’re damn sexy yourself.”

“What are you girls doing later? I work late tonight, but you should come for dinner…”

Which is precisely what we did.

Greek dinners, for those who don’t know, happen mighty late. Sia and I had explored half the area by 10 that night and still had time to head back to our hotel for a nap and shower. It was so blazing hot—in fact, this was the year that Athens caught fire, 2007—that we lived in a layer of sweat from the second we left the shower until the moment we crawled our way back in. This meant we returned to the deli restaurant sweaty all over again, despite a good hour of freshening and dolling ourselves up. But, Nikolaos didn’t seem to mind. Not through dinner as we chowed on gyros and more drinks (Jelly Beans for me, of course), and talked to his friends who had joined the hang out. Not when Sia wandered off with some adorable Australian and a promise to meet me back at the hotel in a few hours.

And definitely not when Nikolaos talked me onto his moped and took me back to his apartment.

The place was a wreck, but I was all eyes-on-Nikolaos. He could have been a model, some Greek beauty blessing the pages of a magazine I would surely take home as a souvenir. However, I had better things in mind for this guy, and by the feel of his cock rising up between us, it was obvious he did too.

Nikolaos pulled me into his chest when the door shut behind us. He ran his fingers up my cheek, then stroked his hand through my hair. When he rolled his pelvis up against me, I let out a quiet purr only because I’d had three Jelly Beans and I wasn’t sure if I was coming off louder than I thought.

“You’re an aggressive little thing,” he said.

“I am.”

“And you almost look Greek.”

“But I’m not.”

“Are you sure you’re not a Greek-American actress? You look like an actress. And your Greek is fantastic.”

“I’m totally not. I just have a good tongue.”

That might have been the Jelly Beans talking, but Nikolaos took the bait. He leaned down and kissed me then.

And yeah. We were all tongues.

Tongues, fingers, hands, lips—we were naked and rolling around on the bed in no time. Nikolaos, it turned out, looked like a model from head to toe, and I, apparently, was his favorite shape. He spent several minutes running his hands up and down my body with heavy inhalations that made his nostrils flare, then he buried those fingers so deep in my cunt and his tongue so furiously against my clit that my Jelly Bean fueled groans had to have woken his neighbors.

“I’ve never fucked a Californian,” he growled.

“Perfect. I’ve never fucked a hot waiter from Rhodes.”

Our lips sealed back together when he frantically searched his nightstand for a condom. I barely noticed him putting it on, because moments later he plunged inside me, hard and filling, his hands gripping at my breasts and his cheeks so bright.

“Your smile…” he moaned. “It’s like fucking a celebrity…”

This somehow turned me on more. So as Nikolaos thrust in me, bit at my shoulder, nipped at my lips, and groaned in my ear—I writhed with wild calls that were twice as loud thanks to all those Jelly Beans. My body quaked with excitement as he pushed faster and deeper, and when he erupted with a grunt and I hadn’t yet come, he was right back down between my thighs lapping at me until I shuddered with cries that put everything before them to shame.

I remember thinking as we lay there—Nikolaos panting against my thigh, me trying to catch my breath, inhaling the smell of musty sex and dirty room and Greek humidity—that vacation sex was, even when terrible, awfully fun. I’m not one for notches on a bedpost, but maybe a map to mark my foreign conquests might make for a good chuckle.

Nikolaos slid up along my body, planting kisses over my face and tracing the circumference of my nipple with a fingertip.

“So you leave in four days?” he said.

“Yep. Four more days.”

“Hmmm.” He ran his fingers down my stomach, then slipped them between the sensitive, pink lips of my pussy. “Maybe you and your friend can come back to the deli tonight for dinner again…and have another Jelly Bean.”

“Oh. For a Jelly Bean, huh?”

Nikolaos gave me a quick kiss, and when he leaned back, he nodded with a grin.

“I just might,” I said.

I always have liked sweet things.

***

Want to read more awesome stories, posts, musings, and articles from the cocktail launch party? Click right here to see the full menu! And please be sure to swing on by to join the Facebook party all day today!

As for me…I think it’s time for another drink…

Jade Discovering The Jelly Bean While Visiting Rhodes

Jade discovering The Jelly Bean while on vacation in Rhodes, Greece…this may have been her second round. (Third?)

Hiccup.

XX,
Jade

Blue veiled banner image of eyes

The Sneaky Vignette: Resurgence

I’ve been hard at work on another book, something that started as a novella and then morphed into a bigger project. As in, it kind of took over my life—but in a very good way, of course.

While I try my hardest to stick to one project, other things constantly pop up, swirling around in my head and asking for attention. The following is one such thing that snuck in a couple days ago. I’m not sure what it will turn into yet, but for now I thought I’d offer up the vignette playing in my brain…

Resurgence

“Here?” he said. He brushed aside my hair, his lips skimming the nape of my neck. He curved his hands around my shoulders, hooking fingertips under the sides of my robe and parting them slowly, so slowly.

I shook my head—though already I could feel it, simmering deep in me. I closed my eyes as he drew back the fabric, silk dripping off my shoulders before it wisped to the floor.

“Here?”

He slid his fingertips up my arms and pressed his lips to my shoulder. One kiss, then two. His tongue ran the length of my shoulder blade, tracing what once felt it, felt this.

But again, I offered only a quiet head shake, the stillness of my breath.

He snaked his arms through the hollow between my arms and waist, curling them up, cupping my breasts. His palms grazed soft flesh that remembered and ached.

“Or here?” he said.

This time he came closer, his chest to my back, his breaths one with mine. His cock was hard but not insistent, patient like the draw of his fingertips across my nipples. They tightened at this simple caress and the warmth circulated, flowed.

Still, the words remained trapped at my lips, muted by an avalanche of memories and pain, weaving their way through my limbs, my heart.

He kissed my neck. His mouth was firmer now—needing me, summoning me. One hand inched down my stomach, lacing my body with goose bumps, with a sensation I’d forgotten.

“Here?” he whispered.

A fingertip grazed my folds. The faintest touch, searching me.

Finding me.

He circled the tender, tight knot that swelled for him and gently kissed my throat. My chest swarmed with heat as he trailed his finger down, slipping it inside a place that knew.

That remembered.

“There,” I breathed.

Yes, there.

His words were a rush of warmth in my ear, a quiet, compassionate plea.

“Can I stay here?”

There was no other answer, my body responding, heating.

“Never leave,” I said.

**

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. 🙂

Happy almost weekend…

XX,
Jade

 

The Big Book of Submission Blog Tour Logo

The Big Book of Submission Blog Tour is Here!

The Big Book of Submission: 69 Kinky Stories is out now from Cleis Press, and I have to say, I’m thrilled to be part of another of Rachel Kramer Bussel’s super sexy flash fiction collections. The stories in here are shorter—1,200 words or less—which means the anthology is packed full of stories from writers I’m proud to share pages with, each one providing a new take on submission.

My story in the anthology is called “Others,” and I previously posted an excerpt here—so today I want to focus on the story itself as well as share a somewhat hilarious behind-the-scenes tale. Let’s start with the story. “Others” is the first time I ventured from the lighthearted and playful stories I started with into a darker, heavier style. The bulk of this was that I wanted to experiment with a tone I used back when I wrote speculative fiction, but another part was approaching themes I gravitate to both as a writer and a reader—submission, exhibitionism, and m/f/m dynamics. The first, submission, has always intrigued me; I’m captivated by the trust involved in surrendering to someone else, as it’s an entirely different level of intimacy that I find intensely powerful. The second theme, exhibitionism, is dear to my heart—I’ve confessed on an alternate blog tour stop that my first orgasm with another person was under a third person’s watchful eye, and thus the concept has long been one I like to explore in my work. Finally, there’s the m/f/m dynamic…well, let’s say this fascination sparked the night I walked into my senior prom with not one, but two dates on my arm. Ah, memories…

The Big Book of Submission Tour LogoAll right, moving along…now that we got the deep dark part of this out of the way, I need to flash my lighter side (for those of you of the astrology ilk, I am a Gemini, through and through). See, I have a somewhat ridiculous and embarrassing behind-the-scenes story for the creation of “Others”—and since so often there’s seriousness in our back stories, I figured this goofy tidbit needed to be shared.

Shortly after I saw Rachel Kramer Bussel’s call for this anthology, I had a morning to write before a late afternoon chiropractic appointment. I was so inspired I planned to write all the way up until I had to leave—but I’d only gotten a few paragraphs in before the receptionist called and asked if I’d be able to come early due to some sort of emergency meeting.

I like being helpful, so of course I packed up and set out…but the story was burning a hole in my brain and I couldn’t let it sit for hours (my chiropractor is almost 45 minutes from me). I decided that this was the day to try dictation. Why not? If I could write erotica, I could certainly talk it to myself while driving, right?

Um, kind of.

So there I was, dictating away…but I have a theatre background, so I admit I was getting carried away with the lines. I was doing voices and everything, which got me a bit worked up over the whole thing. Still, I was doing okay. I focused on the road. I could manage this. I was cool. And then a few minutes later, right in the middle of a majorly heated part…

Some asshole swerved and almost hit me.

Naturally, I did what you do—I flipped the fuck out and screamed some obscenities he couldn’t hear through my closed windows. It took me a good minute to settle down (we’re talking two inches away going 70 on a freeway, guys), and then I attempted to continue my narration. I arrived at my chiropractor ten minutes later rather pink-cheeked—partially over the near-hit, but also over the story narration—and my doctor even said so.

“Good day today, Jade? You look…happy.”

“Oh, I am. Was just…uh…fleshing out a story, you know…”

Yeah. So when I left, I decided I’d had enough dictation for the day and opted to work the tale around in my head until I got home, where I sat down to listen to my recording and type it all up.

Now, narrating erotica is one thing. Listening to yourself dramatically narrating a hot story is an entirely different matter. Sure it was funny because I was over the top, on one hand, but on the other, I was getting a little hot under the collar (I’m an extremely aural person). I remember thinking, Jesus seriously? I just recorded this driving? This scene is getting really intense…wow, why, WHY did I act it out? Is it hot in here? Theatre people should not be allowed behind a mic with erotica like EVER. Ever!

And all of a sudden, I heard…

“Holy shit, asshole! Learn to drive! Oh my fucking god!”

Then, after a brief pause, the recording striving for an Erotica Oscar segued right back into more naughtiness.

I am sorry to say I deleted this recording (because why would I ever play that for anyone, ever?)…but I assure you I laughed pretty hard. I finished transcribing and then continued the story with a big fat amused smile on my face. And after that, I decided dictation was maybe not my thing—especially not while driving.

So there you have it! A little humor behind “Others,” my [not at all funny] story in The Big Book of Submission: 69 Kinky Tales.

Want to get your hands on this sexy book? You can pick it up right here.

Be sure to continue on the virtual tour for more back stories, reviews, excerpts, and more. The stops are listed right here.

Thanks for joining me on this stop! And, er…be safe on the road, folks…

XX,
Jade

 

Cover of Hungry for More edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel

Hungry for More: Excerpt of “The Sleeper’s Beauty”

Great news! Hungry for More: Romantic Fantasies for Women is out now on paperback through Amazon!

Hungry for More cover

I am quite excited about this anthology, one of the first from Cleis Press’s new Tempted Romance line. And as our fabulous editor, Rachel Kramer Bussel, says: “I don’t think the cover accurately conveys just how perfectly daring and wondrously taboo these stories are.” The line-up is exquisite, and the stories are definitely going to break some boundaries…which means you can bet it’s going to be a hot one!

So today, I’ve got two goodies to share with you. First, Rachel Kramer Bussel is running a killer opportunity to win if you prefer the Kindle edition, which is scheduled to release August 12th—if you pre-order it, you could win a $100 Amazon gift card! Wow! Details about this easy contest can be found on the book’s Tumblr page right here.

The second goodie is in celebration of the paperback edition being out and available right now on Amazon. That is…it’s time for an excerpt of my story, “The Sleeper’s Beauty”!

“The Sleeper’s Beauty” is about a woman who’s never fully understood why her friends are so darn excited over anal sex when she’s had some less-than-stellar experiences—but she wants to more than anything. And one night, her curiosity piqued, she finds herself in just the right circumstances…

Excerpt of “The Sleeper’s Beauty”:

Tonight, Carrie decided, things were going to be different. She was determined to make it happen. She couldn’t take one more Friends episode thinking about the hard slide of his dick all the way up inside her until she cried like the girls said she would, and she’d be damned if a fear of a little ass play was going to keep her from knowing all the pleasures she could have.

Knowing Andrew would catch onto her eager glances and deter her yet again, Carrie made him his favorite meal—a pot roast slow-cooked in his preferred beer and sided by a lump of mashed potatoes and two glasses of wine. He’d devoured the dish with that twinkle in his eye that managed to say “You’re wonderful” and “I love you” all at once. After dinner, she walked him to the bed and stripped off her clothes, running her hands all over herself in the most provocative ways she could think of until he chuckled and pulled her down on top of him.

“What is with you, lately?” he said. He wrapped his hands around to cup her ass, then tugged her against the bulge in his boxer briefs. “I mean, seriously. You’re talking anal and attempting strip teases. Settle down, Carrie.”

She sighed, helping his motion with a long grind that made him groan. “I’m trying something new here. I’m adding spice! Is it really that bad?”

“God, no. But you don’t have to do these things you don’t want to do.” Andrew took her hands between his and lifted them to his lips so he could kiss her fingertips. Then he shifted his hips up and rubbed against her. “I love having sex with you as is. And I’m tired, hon. Let’s just do it normal.”

Carrie snatched back her hands. “I want to try something new! What kind of man complains about getting what he’s been asking for? Suck it up and enjoy it already!”

With that she scooted low on his legs, running her kisses like she usually did all over his belly and chest. Andrew clicked his tongue, the belittling sound urging her on, and Carrie grumbled before yanking off his underwear. She admired his cock at full alert, then wrapped her mouth around his crown.

“Oh, babe,” he uttered. “That’s perfect. Just perfect.”

Carrie worked his shaft, running her tongue along the base as she knew he liked, then teasing his balls with both of her hands. This was only a precursor in her mind, because she’d already grown wet at the thought of what was to come.

And dammit, she was ready.

Carrie licked and sucked her husband, running her mouth along his length while sneaking one hand back to touch herself. He was too preoccupied to notice, and when she slid her finger inside her slick opening, images of him filling her special, secret hole crept through her head…

***

Please be sure to order your copy of Hungry for More at any of the locations below…the paperback is available now on Amazon, and everywhere else (with the Kindle version) on August 12th. And don’t forget your chance to win through Rachel Kramer Bussel if you prefer the Kindle version!

In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed the sneak peek!

XX,
Jade

ORDER YOUR COPY AT:

AMAZON        BARNES AND NOBLE        AMAZON CANADA       

 AMAZON UK        THE BOOK DEPOSITORY        BOOKS-A-MILLION 

INDIEBOUND        CLEIS PRESS        POWELL’S